My Trip to See The Numbers by Christel

my trip starts out WAY differently than the others. since i only live 2 1/2 hours away, i was able to work the day i left. after work, i went and got 2 new rear tires figuring it made more sense to spend the money on the tires instead of spending the money on a rental car. (this will come back to bite me in my ass.... remember that). after tires, i head home and finish packing. i FINALLY hit the road at 3:15.

i was cruising along.... listening to John Mayer.... drinking my RockStar energy drink... (all 16 ounces)... and was headed to Allie's. i have been on the road for a little over an hour and then my truck stops going when i push on the gas. and for some reason, i can't get my gear shift out of 5th gear. that couldn't be good. i slowed to a stop under a bridge on the side of the highway, yanked my truck out of 5th and turned it off to see if by some miracle i had gained the knowledge to diagnose the problem. and oh yeah, there was smoke coming out of the engine. i bravely extracted myself from my truck and went to open the hood. and its closed so tight i cant get my hand in there to pull the latch. (sometimes it wont catch, so we have to slam it shut, which means its closed more than it should be) i got back in the truck to see if i could find anything to use to yank the latch. the only thing i could find was one of Husband's old wine keys. and since i wasn't above it, i got back out and tried it. i yanked and pulled and tugged and heaved. to no avail. i got back in the truck and called the one person a girl calls in an emergency. her mommie.
(oh yeah, did i mention that i only had one bar on my cell phone battery?)
so mom tried to call cingular roadside assistance. and i was waiting and waiting for her to call back and tell me a truck was on its way. and i was starting to get the impulses from my bladder that, while that energy drink has done its job of energizing, it is now finished with the liquid part of it and would like to rid itself ANY TIME NOW.
mom called back after 20 minutes. she told me that she was on hold and they told her to tell me to dial #HELP. because the 800 number they gave her wasn't working. i called them, and the woman asked where i was. now, i am such a clever girl and pay attention to my surroundings, BUT the only thing surrounding me was the bridge, trees, highway, and vehicles. the only sign i saw was the one in front of me that had BANKS COUNTY posted on it. the bridge didn't even have a number or name on it. no billboards, no mile markers, no buildings. just me and the highway. and since i couldn't get the hood up, there was also NO ONE STOPPING.
she told me that i now had to call 911 and have them locate me through some satellite thing. ok sure, no problem. once i got over the fact that i was calling 911 and the guilt of not having a REAL emergency (like bleeding) i got a hold of a really nice man who informed me that they hadn't moved to phase 2 or 3 so they didn't have the technology to locate me yet. great. fabulous. marvelous. but we were able to pinpoint me by what i saw and what i had passed. we played the "What do you see, What have you passed" game. but bless his heart, he even asked me what mile marker i was at. if i knew that, do you think i would be calling you?
BUT since i was staring at the BANKS COUNTY sign and had passed the Weigh Station (which was closed) and hadn't made it quite to Commerce, he told me i was at Mile Marker 155 1/2. no lie. and i was. exactly. Thank you DPS man. so i relayed my location back to mom and had her take care of it from her end where she has battery power and a potty. which meant i then had to look for one. i was unable to climb the embankment under the bridge to go looking above me, so i started hoofing it back to the north. i found a clearing where i could then climb up over a hill and head back to the bridge above me, or i could seclude my ass just enough to hang it out. also there are beer cans and random food bags lying on the ground so i started to think, "what if i have stumbled into some serial killer's hide-out?" (because i have an active imagination, you see.) but the trash wasn't too fresh, so i took my chances. i made sure i could still see the highway, and became one with nature. which is NO EASY TASK FOR A GIRL. i made my way back to my truck and had been on the side of the road for an hour. mom has called allie and informed them of the situation. i called my Husband and he was helpless in the situation, so i sat. and finally got a call back from roadside assistance. she let me know that they have found a truck that can come get me and will charge them $50 but will charge me $20. and then i lost her. so she called back. at this point i told her, "look, i have a phone that's about to die, i have been here for almost 2 hours, i don't care who you send, or how much it costs. just send someone to get me RIGHT NOW!" she snaps to and within 10 minutes i heard from the truck that's coming to get me. he let me know "that he can only tow me 10 miles for free and its $3 a mile after that and blah blah blah... " at that point, i was starting to lose my composure. with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes i told this man that "i don't care. i just don't care, i have been here for 2 hours and could he please just come get me, please?" and he was then on his way.

meanwhile, the girls have decided that they will drive up to Commerce and pick me up. and i thought they were on their way to me 30 minutes prior to the tow truck man coming to get me. it was dusk, and i had to pee again. and i was NOT going back into the woods to pee in the nature and in the dark. you can call me chicken shit. you can call me a scaredy cat, you can even call me a girl... but call me ALIVE and SMART.

i watched the tow truck drive by on the northbound lane. and i was on the phone with mom when i saw him. so she knew help was on its way. (they told her that they would call her and let her know what was going on) and so, i was doing the Tee-Tee Dance like a mad woman in my truck waiting for the trucker. He got there, and jostled me and my bladder and everything in my brain getting my truck on his. i asked him if he would take me to a gas station before we went anywhere else. he started in with the "10 miles for free... and then..." i let him know, gently but firmly that "i didn't care and needed a bathroom". i then started looking for places to fix my truck. at 6:30 on a friday. and "most places is closed already n they aint open tomorruh neither" well, fuck Cletus, what is it that you suggest i do? he told me of a place that might still be open. i called, they were. we stopped to pee and headed to Don's. i had also assumed that the girls were on their way. i let them know before we headed to Don's to "just head north and i would tell them the exit". because they were over an hour away.

i told Don what happened and he said he would take a look at it tomorrow. and he will call me for anything. he said i could sit and wait for my friends. i plugged my phone into the wall and called the girls. i was informed that #3 KY and #5 IN had JUST gotten there and they were headed out the door as we spoke. and then i hear someone say, "it wont start? what do you mean it wont start?" and then Allie's friend's van won't start. thus ensued the hysterical laughter on their end and the tears on my end. i just wanted to be at Allie's. they all piled into #5's car and headed my way. finally. so i was sitting in the "waiting room" of some podunk auto repair station, in a podunk town, with a big tree frond in my face because its the only clean chair and i was freezing because i was sitting right by the glass doors. i had a book, though. its one i had read and was taking to Allie, but hey, it beat reading Auto Trader.

an hour later, they got there. and lots of hugging. and i was now safe. i called mom and Husband and let them know that the girls were there. we then piled into the car and headed to Allie's.

this concludes Part One of the Trip To The Numbers Trilogy.