Tuesday, September 28, 2004



i have, once again, been suckered by my desire to be as cool as my friends. they have lists of 101 things about them. here's mine:

  1. i am stupidly in love with my husband.
  2. he loves me almost the same much.
  3. only because i love him more.
  4. we still celebrate our monthly anniversaries.
  5. tomorrow will be 4 years and 2 months.
  6. we have been married for 2 years and 2 months.
  7. i am his second wife.
  8. i am his last wife.
  9. he is my only husband.
  10. my parents are divorced.
  11. they are still friends.
  12. that makes me happy.
  13. i have 3 siblings.
  14. i have 2 half brothers, that makes a "whole" brother.
  15. one of my brothers called me "shorty"
  16. he's whiter than me.
  17. but he's bigger.
  18. and runs fast.
  19. and plays football.
  20. i am proud of him.
  21. my other brother almost had his legs broken by me.
  22. he wouldn't have been able to run fast.
  23. then he couldn't go and do stupid stuff to make me want to break his legs.
  24. i love him, in spite of the stupid stuff.
  25. my sister is the oldest.
  26. she is my step-sister.
  27. my friends are like my family too.
  28. i met half of my friends because of a book.
  29. i also think it was fate that brought us together.
  30. i believe in fate.
  31. and destiny.
  32. and a higher power.
  33. i don't call it GOD.
  34. i don't have to.
  35. my mom said so.
  36. i still sit in my mother's lap.
  37. she still plays with my hair.
  38. i can tell her anything.
  39. even the bad stuff.
  40. i am learning not to dwell on the bad stuff.
  41. i believe bad stuff happens to good people.
  42. i believe i am good people.
  43. i believe in karma.
  44. i believe in the awesome power of good kisses.
  45. i believe in santa claus.
  46. my birthday is close to christmas.
  47. we call it christelmas.
  48. because i am spoiled.
  49. and i like it that way.
  50. my dad got me flowers last year.
  51. the card said "merry tistelmas"
  52. he calls me tistel.
  53. no one else is allowed to.
  54. only 9 people on the planet are allowed to call me "chris"
  55. let's keep it that way.
  56. my name was almost Carisa.
  57. it's a street in dallas.
  58. my mom used to make out with a boy on that street.
  59. they called it "necking"
  60. the boy was not my father.
  61. i was almost switched at birth.
  62. i used to think i had been.
  63. and that my REAL mother was a princess.
  64. who lived in a castle.
  65. and was going to come rescue me.
  66. and i would live in a castle, too.
  67. that never happened.
  68. i did marry Prince Charming, though.
  69. who knew his first name was Eddie?
  70. there was no white horse.
  71. still waiting for the castle, too.
  72. but i consider myself a queen.
  73. i think the rest of the world should, too.
  74. things would go much smoother if they did.
  75. when i rule the world, it will be illegal to be rude.
  76. or mean.
  77. or stupid.
  78. i can't wait to rule the world.
  79. i can't wait to be a mommie.
  80. i think i will be a good one.
  81. because i still enjoy being a child.
  82. i love to make farting noises on people's stomachs.
  83. i love that i have friends who let me make farting noises on their stomachs.
  84. strangers do not let me make farting noises on their stomachs.
  85. i have AWESOME friends.
  86. i want to move to bora bora with all of my friends.
  87. i want to learn how to play guitar.
  88. and piano.
  89. and cello.
  90. i want to sing more.
  91. i love to sing.
  92. my favorite song is 'into the mystic'.
  93. music has healing properties.
  94. i have done a lot of healing.
  95. i had a fucked up childhood.
  96. i think i turned out ok.
  97. i am stronger because of it.
  98. and i learned how to ask for help.
  99. i have friends who KNOW when i need help.
  100. that is amazing.
  101. and so am i.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

world poker tour

one of my very best friends, Special K, threw a Poker Party last night. we were all required to bring a pair of sunglasses and beer. well, shit, I can do that! one small problem, i don't play poker. my husband is the poker player in this pineapple. (spongebob reference, for those of you living under rocks) so i call the husband to tell him that i am going to play poker, last night. he says, and i quote, "WHA?" i SAID, "i am going to play poker tonight." i could see the confused look on his face, THROUGH the phone. i then explained that i was just going to watch and drink beer. 2 things i can do really well. i might even provide commentary, because we all know I can't shut up.

so i get there and everyone is bullshitting and drinking beer... obviously they are psyching themselves up. it takes the boys a little bit to get the game organized... which chips for a quarter, which chips for a dollar, no we have more green ones than red ones, those should be the quarters..... highly DISORGANIZED. i bet the WSOP doesn't have that conversation. and they lay down the "poker" table on top of the dining room table. it was a nice green table, with drink holders and everything. the boys my husband play with have used the "rake" to buy a nice fancy one that they move the dining room table out of the way to play. they have purchased vegas chips and get pretty serious. its 40 bucks just to sit your booty in the chair.
so the boys, excuse me, men... get down to bidness. that leaves, me, heather, justin, and special K to watch. justin and K grab 2 stools and drag them over to the game to do commentary. they start using their pseudo hushed golf voices. "and lance has big slick and here comes the flop, OH, that won't help him at all...." we got bored with that and since justin and i don't know how/want to play poker, we bust out UNO! that's right ladies and gentleman. UNO. the fast paced game of strategy, skill, and thwarting your opponents. now, the last time we played UNO, it was at the lake. and we played MY VERSION: drUnkEn UnO. the one where if you draw two, you drink two..... you get skipped, you gotta sip, throw a wild, drink it, child. yes, even I can make a drinking game out of something so harmless as UNO. but we played the regular way, last night. and UNO will tell you who your real friends are. if your friend skips you 6 times, you might want to re-evaluate things. you might want to reconsider them for the christmas card list. while we were playing UNO, some more people showed up, the pizza showed up and the poker game was still going strong. we started placing bets on who was going to stand up in outrage and get pissed off at their buddy, who was going to tell them to shut up and who was going to make a joke out of the whole thing. it was hard to take these boys seriously, since one of them was wearing a pair of Jimmy Neutron sunglasses. K went to Big Lots and purchased fun glasses for those amateurs who forgot to bring theirs. she even bought diving goggles, which justin wore during the powerful game of UNO, until they started to fog up.

so heather won UNO and she, K, eileen, and her husband went to go start their own poker game. that left me. and justin. well, we knew how to improvise. we decided to learn how to play Skip-Bo. neither of us had ever played, so it was truly an adventure. we opened he box and found not one deck of cards, but three. oh jeebus, this was going to be involved. we counted the cards, 162 total and began to read the instructions. we were each dealt 30! cards. that is called our "stock" pile. then there will be the rest of the deck, that is called the "draw" pile. then we have 4 piles in front of us called the "discard" pile. there are 18 skip-bo cards also known as "wild cards" i looked at justin and said, "wild cards??? have we been immunized?" he raised his beer, we clink and drink, and thus became "immunized" we were ready! we had also taken a blue, a white, and a black chip and set them by our "stock piles" see, we were playing with poker chips too. now the counter where we were playing had now become the "Skip-Bo Arena". we checked the diagram of all the piles, using a screwdriver as a pointer, to help point out the exact location of the cards that will be played in the Arena. we shook hands and began. it was slow going at first. because there was so much strategy involved. you have to make 4 piles in the middle of the Arena starting with 1 and consecutively increasing to 12. once all of the piles reach 12, you shuffle them in with the "draw" pile and continue playing. the first person to use up all of their cards in their "stock" pile, wins. difficult, no? i thought justin was cheating since he kept running out of cards. kinda like when my grandfather use to play scrabble with us and would say, "i don't have anymore room for my tiles", and he would have 10 tiles. but i digress... the game lasted almost an hour. the guys over at the poker table kept making fun of us by calling out, "SKIP-BO!" see, they were jealous. they had to play stupid, ole poker and here we were playing the rousing game of Skip-Bo. nanny nanny boo boo.
as the "stock" piles are dwindling, we start throwing in our chips. i checked him when i had double trip 8's. a great hand by any standard! he then called me when he ended up with 5 12's. i think double trip 8's beats quintuple 12's ANY day. so, the game is progressing. him, still cheating. but i cant prove it. i am sure of it. he had that look in his eye and the eyebrow that twitched when he uncovered another card from his "stock" pile. finally i am All-In. and we both have 2 cards left in our "stock" pile. he throws an 11, flips over his last card... and it was a 12. DAMMIT! just when i thought i had him cornered. i still maintain that he was cheating. he must have looked at my cards, when he stepped away from the arena to get another beer. to justin i demand a REMATCH! i will defeat you, you Skip-Bo cheater, you!

after the game was finished, we shook hands and watched the others playing poker. K's friend Lance wasn't doing so well at his poker game, so i turned his hat inside out as a rally cap. he began to turn his luck around. until jeremy knocked the hat off his head, and then it was tainted and ruined the rally. spoil sport.

i started to get tired, since i have been sick this past week and it was well past my bedtime. i came home and went to sleep. i had super fun. and i will triumph at Skip-Bo next time! you hear me, Justin Cheater Pants?

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

let's go to luchenbach, texas with waylon, willie, and the boys


i am so ready to move back to texas. and i'm not ready at the same time. i am sitting here listening to willie (nelson, DUR) and drinking Red Draws. "what the fuck is a Red Draw," you ask? lemme tell you. its so yum, you will thank me after i tell you. if you like beer and bloody marys. if not, then thank me anyway, because i am sharing a secret with you.

1 can beer (miller lite is great for this)
1/4 cup V8
1 tsp lemon juice
2 shakes salt
3 spanish olives (optional)
tabasco (also optional)

mix it all together in a glass and enjoy. my friend michelle and i used to sit around drinking these until we were silly. they originated in a bar in wichita falls, texas.

and i am just ready to be "home" i wanna eat brisket and elgin sausage. i wanna get shiner bock at EVERY single watering hole i patronize. i wanna hug my sweetie. i wanna see BIG belt buckles and tight jeans. i wanna go honky-tonkin with my honey. i wanna eat blue bell ice cream. i wanna see a texas sunset (the MOST beautiful you will EVER see.) i wanna see bluebonnets. i wanna hug my grandma. i wanna see the texas flag plastered on ANYTHING that will sit still. i wanna drink a REAL margarita. i wanna eat real TexMex. i wanna see armadillos and jack rabbits. i wanna be in texas. really bad.

anyone have any frequent flyer miles to spare for a good cause?

Monday, September 20, 2004

the mexican (mocha)

i am amazed on a daily basis exactly how many people make it OUT of their houses without bursting into flames for being so stupid.

this man came into the store this afternoon. he asked all sorts of questions about the sugar-free items we have available. here is how the conversation went:

him: how many carbs are in your sugar free mexican mocha?
me: (checking) hmm... there are no carbs in the syrups we use, therefore the only carbs would come from the dairy.
him: so there are are no carbs in your sugar-free syrups.
me: right. just checked.
him: well sometimes the sugar-free stuff has carbs.
me: ours don't. (with sly smirk)
him: ok, then i want the grande sugar-free mexican mocha... the one with the blender.
me: OH, that is going to have a substantial amount of carbs, that's a different ingredient for making the frozen drinks.
him: oh, so the blender ones have more carbs? i mean the one with the... (he sticks his pointer finger towards the sky and makes a circle with it)
me: yes sir, the frozen drinks, with the shaved ice have more carbs. i can make you this drink over ice, using milk, which will cut down on the carbs drastically.
him: so that's with the shaved ice?
me: no sir, that's OVER ice. with ice cubes and regular milk.
him: nah, i'll just have the grande mexican mocha, sugar-free.
me: ok so that is a HOT drink now? (he nods) now what kind of dairy do you prefer? whole, skim, or half-and-half?
him: oh, you have half-and-half... i want that.
( i go grab the cup and start putting the syrups in it)
him: is that the largest size you have?
me: no sir, i have a 24 ounce.... but you asked for the grande (he is staring at the menu trying to find a 4th size) we added a 4th size AFTER our menu was printed, so its not on there, but we have a 24 ounce size, which would be our largest.
him: well how much is that?
(i turn around to look at the menu to figure out how much a 24 ounce breve with flavor would be, meanwhile we have a line of customers forming.. i ask E to ring it up to give him a total, it was $4.57 he looks the menu and tells me that a "mexican mocha is less than that")
me: well sir, you got a breve with a flavor, that's a different price.
him: no, i got a mexican mocha.
me: you want a breve with mexican mocha syrups. the breve is made with half-and-half, therefore it is more expensive
him: well you just asked me what kind of milk i wanted, you didn't say that one was more expensive than another. (E rings up a mega mexican mocha totaling $4.04)
me: so, does that mean you want me to make this with MILK instead?
him: yes, now that's sugar-free right?
me: the milk changed, sir, NOT the syrups. (with the "could you be MORE stupid" tone)
(i proceed to make this man's drink.... slamming shit around and hand him his drink and i don't say anything.... he takes a sip of it and asks E if it needs sweet and low. she says, "i guess, if you think it does"
me: it shouldn't need it, it should be plenty sweet enough.
him: well, its not.
me: the sweeteners are over on the bar.
him: what about the whipped cream?
(E tells him that it has carbs because it is sweetened with our regular syrups... he decides after ALL of this that he wants whipped cream, too and LOTS of it)

now i have to make the 48 drinks that have lined up in the time it took to get this jackass's order right. i noticed he was wearing a shirt that said "blah blah Hypnotherapy" and i began to wonder, do they have hypnotherapy for being a jackass? or maybe... his behavior was a result of a JOKE that someone played on him, "while he was under" ya know, you hear a bell and start barking.... someone takes your drink order at a coffeehouse, and you become an utter asshole? it could happen, right?

i just hope he seeks help somewhere. and i hope he doesn't come back here. because if you cant spare an extra .50 on a cup of joe..... then you might want to start making your coffee at home.

and you thought slingin coffee was easy.

Sunday, September 19, 2004

why me?

k, so i'm one of those weirdos that gets words, names, or phrases stuck in my head. i mean S-T-U-C-K. as in, repeat the damned thing over and over in my head, while i do mindless things. which in MY line of work, there are lots of times when i can be lost inside my own melon. during the summer, i was reading the Harry Potter books. sure did get "blast-ended skrewts" stuck in my head for a WEEK! now i have never seen a blast-ended skrewt. nor do i desire to, but at one point i was sure i needed one just to get the damned thing out of my head.

so today's word? (see i WAS going somewhere with this)


"what the fuck?" you say?

well, here ya go:

Virtually unique in the animal kingdom, with a saga steeped in science and popular imagination, the fabulous Coelacanth ("see-la-kanth"), that 400 million year old "living fossil" fish, paddles on. Pre-dating the dinosaurs by millions of years and once thought to have gone extinct with them, 65 million years ago, the Coelacanth with its "missing link" "proto legs" was "discovered" alive and well in 1938! (http://www.dinofish.com/)

yep... that's what i got stuck in my head today. i learned about them in biology 2 years ago. and for some reason the information wormed it's way back out of the deep recesses where i store all that junk, and rattled around in my head today like a tennis shoe in a clothes dryer.

so, truly.... WELCOME to my little world. where prehistoric fish and blast-ended skrewts dwell.

careful, the skrewts are a bit fiesty.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

yep, its my turn for a list

several of my friends have posted lists of their favorite things, things people should know about them, things they want to do before they die, things they hate, pet peeves, etc.... you get the point. i have decided its MY turn. that way my friends and family can reference some of them for great gift giving ideas. you know, when i am sitting on santa's lap in december and he asks, "what can i get for you little girl, and aren't you just as light as a feather." and i say, "a trip to bora bora with 30 of my best friends, and thank you for noticing" sure, santa can make that fit in my stocking, right? so here goes.

here is my things to do before i am 100 list.
  1. have kids
  2. have grandkids
  3. see van morrison in concert in belfast, ireland (from about 3 feet away) and then meet him
  4. dance in the street, with my husband, in every foreign city we visit
  5. visit peru
  6. visit morocco
  7. visit greece
  8. go back to england and scotland
  9. learn to SCUBA dive
  10. buy my mother diamonds
  11. spend a month in bora bora with every single one of my girlfriends
  12. own my own coffee plantation in costa rica or guatemala
  13. own a silver porsche 911 turbo cabriolet
  14. gaze at a star filled sky in the middle of the mediterranean ocean
  15. catch lightning bugs with my children
  16. donate as much money or time to any charity i desire
  17. see the indigo girls in athens, ga with jenny
  18. see rod stewart with angela
  19. write a book
  20. learn how to throw pottery
  21. learn to blow glass
  22. get another tattoo
  23. send my parents on vacation
  24. go to one of my brother's football games
  25. go on another cruise
  26. adopt a child
  27. learn to play guitar
  28. learn to play cello
  29. teach a child something only i know how to do
  30. spend a summer touring every major league ballpark
  31. throw a BASH
  32. pick my husband up from an airport wearing nothing but a trenchcoat and heels
  33. take a beach trip with donna
  34. learn to salsa dance
  35. make a signature dessert
  36. serve at a soup kitchen
  37. have one truly fearless day
  38. play dress up with my grandmother again
  39. have a family reunion
  40. send my husband, mother, dad, and father to pebble beach to golf
  41. have my own line of nail polish called StarWonder
  42. build a hammock for 3 and lay in it with allie and lauren (have cable installed, as well)
  43. have lunch with julia roberts
  44. drive as fast as i want on an open road
  45. live up to my mother-in-law's legacy
  46. change a stranger's life for the better
  47. afford a *real* hair conditioner addiction
  48. buy 50 of the biggest christmas trees and give them to families without them
  49. plant a tree in honor of my family members who are no longer with us
  50. give my daughter(s) the wedding of her dreams

i think i will stop here. i will add to this list whenever i see fit. check back often, in case i think of something crazy that i HAVE to do.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

head, shoulders, knees, and toes

all right. i think i am done sulking. there are no more tears to cry. today.

and i just got off the phone with one of my very best friends and she made it all better. i mean, hell, you can't be upset with your life when you are on the phone with a woman who has 4 children. under the age of 10. let me break it down: a 9 year old, a 5 year old, a 3 year old and a 7 month old. HOLY SHIT. yes, i tell her she's crazy about as many times as i blink. but she makes it work. and it makes her happy. and her kids are happy. even though her 3 year old told her that the song and dance to "head, shoulders, knees, and toes" was "DUMB" that was a humbling experience. she told me that somewhere between year 1 and year 3, that song lost ALL cool points. so take note of that if you decide to sing that song to a room full of kids. you might get an unruly audience.

so yeah, that will bring you out of a funk. considering a had a breakdown driving across town earlier in the day. i mean i was a snotty, teary, hicuppy, road raged kind of mess. but i think i am ok now. i miss my kitties. i miss my husband. and people can't drive. good reasons to cry, no?

but here are my meaningful things:
#1 i spent yesterday celebrating a friend's birthday with food, shopping, food, laughing, shopping and more laughing.
#2 i went over to my mom's house and we ate chinese and had quality time. we even made a few purses too.
#3 i got to talk to my grandmother and make her laugh... the good deep belly kind. i think i may have even snorted. i KNOW i guffawed.

so i am going to work on more purses. and perhaps my business cards. i already have one bag on hold for a lady. just wait till the world gets a peek at em.
yay me.

on a different note, is it weird that i told our other 2 cats that simon wasn't coming home? it was kinda like the "death talk" you give to kids. ya know. the one where you tell them that "so-and-so is up in the sky with grandpa. you remember grandpa right? you know the one with the candy in his pockets. yeah.. him. no not really in the sky. but heaven. yes, heaven. no, i dont think all people go to heaven. i am sure all animals do. because they have good souls. i will tell you what a soul is another time. why? because i said so. ok its time for bed"

yeah. that one. but it was VERY one-sided. the girls (we have 2 girl cats) just kinda looked at me like i was crazy. i think our "oldest" understood because she has been through this before.

right.... so was it weird?

Friday, September 10, 2004

sleep well, little man.

today is the day.

simon avery, kitten boy had a total of 13 seizures yesterday, that i was able to witness. that can't be good. it isn't good. and it is hurting him more than i am allowing myself to accept. i think he is now blind and gets angry if you touch him, because he cant see you coming.

we have an appointment at 3:45 at the vets office. we are going to bury him next to our family doggie and our oldest cat, whom we buried last year, the day before thanksgiving. my husband is beating himself up for not being here for this. but he can't. that is a fact. he has bigger things to do. but i have my brother here to go with me. what a way to spend your day off. but on the bright side, we gave simon a very loving house to live for as long as he was able. if it hadn't been for us, he might have gone to the pound and they may have put him down sooner than was necessary. he has had 2 older kitty sisters to torment him and love him all at the same time. he filled a void we needed filled after we put our oldest down. and we loved him. more than he will ever know. more than i think i will ever know. and i hate it for him. i hate that he got sick. i hate that his brain is fucked up. i hate that he hasn't even lived a year. how do people watch their children die so young? that has to shatter a persons heart. AND faith. but my sense of faith is messed up. so we shouldn't bring faith into it.

all i know is that i have loved that kitten so much. and his "daddy" has loved him even more because finally he wasn't out-numbered. with 2 other girl cats, he finally had a "man" on his side. and i know that my husband's heart is breaking, as well. not only because he can't be here, but he also knows that i have to do this without him. and there's the guilt that he can't be here for me, simon, or himself. the next time he comes home, there will only be 2 cats to greet him. that's hard. and i hate it for him. but we are doing this for simon. we have to. he is not living right now, he is existing. and for no one else but me. and that's not fair.

simon avery, we loved you with all of our hearts. sleep well, little man. you have a sister waiting for you.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

pity me

ok, so i got a husband who lives half a continent away.
i got a kitten with grand mal seizures.
i got a brother who is sleeping on my couch and has a broken down car.
i have a long ass week ahead of me and cant even BEGIN to be excited about tomorrow being friday and me not having to work.
i have a friend who has so much love to give and no one appreciates how amazing she is. (no one, except us)
i have a friend who is in so much physical pain that she wants to scream all day
i have parents who need to sit down for 17 hours and say all the things they have needed to say for 32 years.
i have a brother who loves me and i dont know why, since i was hardly there for him.
i have a sister who is experiencing a little difficulty with her pregnancy.
AND i have issues WITH her pregnancy.

any questions?

meanwhile... i have decided that i am tired of making Pity Me lists. i mean, at any given time i could make you a list of 5 shitty things going on in my life. granted sometimes they are WAY shitty. sometimes they are moderately shitty. and some days they are but a fart on the Cosmic Shit Scale. and i am tired of it. i used to be fun. i used to be giddy. i used to not need to make a Pity Me list.

so. i am going to change it. right here, right now. at 4:45 on a thursday, september 9th.
yeah, me either.

but i am going to try. i have a customer who i believe is a preacher/priest/deacon/bishop, shit i don't know. he's a man of the cloth. no not burlap... the "holy cloth" ... but enough about his clothes. he comes in a few weeks ago and asks me to give him a list of 3 meaningful things that happened to me yesterday.
i said: i got to talk to my father-in-law, which some days is a miracle.
and that my husband told me he "loved me so much he didnt have the words to express it" to which our Holy Friend said, "what, is he illiterate?" thay annoyed me so i said, "you cant have the third one then. if you want more, then i will give you 4 next time"

and he left. he came in last week and said, "you owe me 4."
i said:
#1 my husband has a new job
#2 my father is in town to visit
#3 my sick kitten has survived another day
#4 my baby brother moved in with me
and i even gave him a fifth one: that i dont remember what it was. but i had a big list.

so i think i will make a list of 3 meaningful things that happened during my day at the end of my blog from now on. it may help. we shall see.

#1 i got to hug my mommie and tell her that i love her.
#2 i talked to my father last night and told him that i love him.
#3 i talked to my best friend last night and made her laugh AND told her that i love her.
#4 i talked to my husband several times and told him that i love him. he made ME laugh which is his mission every day.

see, i guess that wasnt so hard.
now what to do about the sick kitten. that one breaks my heart the most. because there is nothing i can do about it. i mean, i would love to be able to see my husband and tellhim that i love him, but i have 4 more weeks until i get that. but i am eternally thankful that i have such a wonderful husband that has made such a huge sacrifice for the betterment of his family. i am amazed by him everyday.

wow. i feel better.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

amarillo by morning...

err... amarillo in the morning.

my husband is headed to amarillo at the buttcrack of dawn. he gets a stinkin job there and bails on my ass. i appreciate that he wants to go and make sure that its a job he likes and that we will be happy there, but damn, i hate it. i hate it when i go out of town for the weekend... i am not going to see him for a month at a time. and its not like its a few hours drive away either.... its in the middle of NOWHERE.

stupid high paying job. stupid job to help us get out of the hole we have found ourselves in. stupid better life. who wants all that? oh right. we do. just at the expense of a little time apart right? its only a few weeks... at a TIME!!!

yes, i am being a big, fat, titty baby about this. and i haven't used the phrase "titty baby" since i was 11. that's how bad it is. that's the level to which i have to stoop to express what a freak i am being about the whole situation. sure, i will move out there in january and everything will be fine. sure, i am staying to help my boss out through christmas and he tells me that though i am an asset, he would "make do" without me. RIGHT, then why am i staying? if i am so expendable? jackass. oh right i am staying because that man i married needs to make sure amarillo is somewhere he wants to stay. granted it could be worse, he could go out there and hate it and then we would have to move to fargo, north dakota. now there is nothing against fargo ND, but i am a texas girl and the thought of being in my homestate is greatly appealing. fargo, not so much.

so yeah, he leaves tomorrow am. did i also mention that my father is in town from dallas to see us? and did i also mention that my baby brother needs to move out of his house by the end of the week because his dickhead roommates are kicking him out. the reason: he wants to keep the place clean. right... they are slobs and are tired of lil bro telling em to clean up their shit. fucking pity. and they wonder why they don't have girlfriends. FUCKIN DUR, sloth boy.

so, can i BE more stressed? i'm sure. lets not test the weight limits on this ride, though. someone might get hurt. or thrown. or maimed. or maybe none of those, but i will make your ass cry. try me. because if anyone's gonna be cryin, you best sit right down next to me and bring your own gawddamn box of snot rags.

the upside is....... umm.... errr.... the upside is..... well..... ya see...... its ..... ummmm.......

right. no upside. at least not right now. there may be a hundred upsides, but i can see past myself in the fetal position trying to drown in my own tears and snot.

pretty, no?

oh well, i guess i better finish the laundry, vacuuming, scrubbing, and folding before the menfolk descend upon my house.

peace out.