where was i?
oh yeah, being rescued.
we made it back to Allie's house without any hitches. much laughter. no hitches (i personally know that Tasty is laughing at the word 'hitches'. as long as she is not "shrieking with glee" we are ok)
i sat in the back seat with Tasty and all we did was giggle. this woman and i cannot be around each other and NOT giggle. hell, we cant even call each other on the phone. it is SO counter-productive. mainly because we cant get over the fact that we are in each other's space. but i digress.
we pulled into Allie's driveway, i unloaded all my crap, and we headed towards the front door. no sooner have i hit the threshold and Lola has "Into The Mystic" playing. if you know me, you know how much this touched me. if you don't know me, then... you lose.
we got inside and i could smell the fried chicken that was fried eleventeen hours ago and all i wanted to do was dive into it. we all feasted and laughed and commenced with the beers. (i really needed one) we gave out presents and laughed and ate and laughed and hugged and ate some more. once we all settled down, we decided to put on our jammies and let the 3 day Slumber Party begin.
as i was unpacking my bag, i noticed a red spot on my white shirt. and then more red spots. and then the stickiness. and i realized i had a half a bottle of RED NYQUIL empty itself in my bag. fucking yay. and it was ALL over my makeup, my clothes, my shoes, the inside of my bag... it was EVERYWHERE. i took everything upstairs and did inventory. i washed what was covered and set everything else aside. luckily my jammies were spared.
now Allie and Tasty are hot-natured. and by hot-natured,i mean "likely to spontaneously combust" so, it was cold in the house. as the Husband says, it was "Balls Cold" (which i take to mean so cold, you have no balls?) so i was bundled up in my jammies, Tasty's fleece, and a blanket. i think i had a scarf on, too (Lola knitted it for me, DUR) and we were blowing up air mattresses and still giggling. we sat and talked until the wee hours of the morning and then we began the Snore Olympics.
HOLY MONKEY can these women snore!!! Dandy has sleep apnea which means she wins, hands down. BUT on top of that, Tasty and Lola were both getting sick which made them mouth-breathers, thus snorers. i remember at one point in the middle of the night, Allie yelled "please, for the love of all that's good and holy PLEASE stop snoring!" Lola later called it the Phil Spectre Wall Of Sound. it really was deafening.
i think we all got a decent amount of sleep and roused ourselves from slumber around 10 am. (i love sleeping in). Allie got up and made coffee... and made the comment about it being a lot of pressure to make coffee for me, with me being the Coffee Goddess and all. let me just say, she did a FABULOUS job.
the girls ate pancakes, i really wanted the Hershey's kisses in the other room, but i had biscuits. we lounged for SEVERAL hours and talked and laughed and eventually got showers. we FINALLY hit the road around 2 or 3. and we headed to Atlanta. Little Five points, to be more exact. we ate lunch at our favorite place (mine and Allie's) and discussed our tattoo idea further. we thought it would be a great idea to get tattoos since we were all 5 in one place. and the idea of what were getting evolved several times from 5 dots to a five petaled flower to a fairy ring of five, five petaled flowers to a 9 to a star and we finally agreed upon a 9 pointed star. i figured there was going to be a minimum no matter where we went. and the tattoo wasn't even going to be as big as a quarter. we couldn't see spending 50 bones on something so small. but we shopped around anyway.
we had big nasty burgers with lunch and took lots of pictures and made phone calls and drank warm beers. we WERE going to call The Pork, but knew we had other shit to do and didn't want to have to wait for him.
we left there and went to do a little shopping, but really were focused on the tattoos. everywhere we went wanted 50 bucks. and for 5 people, that's a pretty good amount of business. but the thing was, its GUARANTEED business. why not cut us a deal? but NOOOOOO..... they wanted $250 for 5 stars.
we left there and were driving back to Allie's when we got stopped at a road block. i figured it was because of the abduction of a little girl. Allie said it was for drug busting. i said "no way" and as we passed through it, there were people getting arrested and hookers getting hassled. umm, "yes way"
we drove around to show the girls the church where Rev. MLK Jr used to preach. i was unable to take in the sights since i was on the phone with the Husband explaining to him the situation with the truck. yes, they think it's the transmission. yes it will probably cost us a thousand dollars. do we want to sell the truck? do we want to trade in the truck? do we want to fix the truck? where are we going to come up with the money for fixing the truck? will the guy take payments? and on and on and on. at least i had called work and told them i was stranded. so i had until monday to get it all figured out.
as we were driving back to Allie's, she remembered a new tattoo place by her house. we figured let's give it one last shot. and YAY, there was a sign out front, "2 for 1 tattoos" YIPPEE!
we pile into the tattoo place and both artists are currently inking. we look around at the art on the walls and then the very tall, very cute, very nice man asks us if we need any help. Tasty and i do the talking since we are the ones who already have ink (so we are pro's in the tattoo world????) and we told him our situation. he said he said that he could see our dilemma, but to come back another time when we all had saved our pennies for a $50 tattoo. because the 2 for 1 deal was for 2 tattoos on one person. how much sense does THAT make? we then explained to him that we represented 5 states and us getting back together really soon was like us saying "no" to chocolate covered sex. he got our point and went to see what he could do.
he came back and said they wanted $50 a piece. the end. so, Tasty and i had been toying with the idea of getting something pierced. and we were talking to Hot Tattoo Boy and he then said, if you all get tattoos, we will throw in a piercing for free.
as we were discussing that, Allie was flirting with HTB and he was making jokes about having a negotiator. and how Tasty and i would get all the info, and then take it back to the group for their approval. which was indeed the case. also we were stalling to flirt with HTB.
while we were talking it over, someone said that Tasty should get her bellybutton pierced and it would be like a hitch. to this she shrieked with glee. and then...
JackAss Tattoo Man said to us, "it's fine if you have fun and laugh, but we cant have you screaming like that and carrying on." like we were 10th graders. and Tasty looked at Allie and asked what she wanted to do. Allie said, "i was in until about 30 seconds ago"
and we gathered our belongings and headed for the door. HTB held the door for us and as i walked out i wanted to say, "THIS is what $250 looks like walking OUT your door" and the girls wanted to take him with us because we know he would have had WAY more fun with us. so, for the sake of conversation, we got kicked out of a tattoo parlor at 6 on a saturday night.
i love being a drama queen.
stay tuned for part 3 of Trip To The Numbers Trilogy.