an interim post or, how i lost my groove

so i am a little long-winded. but until the cramps in my hands go away from posting about the Famous Numbers Slumber Party, i have a little post to warm my hands up.



yesterday was weird. i couldn't get in my groove. i was having a very hard time multi-tasking. (think it might be the stress?) and we had a few strange events occur yesterday. the first one was the rude woman who thought it was ok to make fun of our employees. not only to their faces, but to the other employees as well.
as you know, i work in a coffeehouse. and the majority of our employees have some variation of ADD. add to that caffeine and it makes work REAL DAMN FUN. we have one girl, D, who is new and has been told by her veryownpersonal therapist that she has "the attention span of a gnat". and there you have it. so she has a short attention span and she's fidgety. and by that i mean she plays with her hair. which is fine. we are trying to work with her on NOT doing it while she is waiting on customers.

BUT, one morning, she was. she ever so genuinely and nicely asked a woman what she could get for he, while twirling her hair. the woman started twirling her hair and said in a valley girl voice, "umm, can i get, like, some coffee?" this is a grown ass woman making fun of our sweet little D and right in front of her face. needless to say, D held up perfectly and realized what the woman was doing and told the lady that she has a bad habit of doing it, but she's working on it. and the grown ass woman starts trying to back-pedal and stumbling over her words because D called her out. kudos to D. and over time, we proceeded to let the rest of the employees know about what happened because we all back each other up.

cut to yesterday. a woman and her husband came in. she looked at J and said, "i'll have whatever you made me the other day". he stared back at her, obviously running through his mental rolodex of our some 400 customers and tried to recall what this woman had.

AND we were also working on a big call-in order as well.

she then told him that she wanted a grande cup, with a little bit of chocolate, 3 shots and steamed milk. i said, "that sounds like you want a mocha". so he then asked if she wanted a little bit of chocolate or the normal amount. she said she wanted the normal amount. at this point i stepped in and said, "well that's still called a mocha."
as i was making her drink, she looked down and saw the call-in order we were working on and said, "those look good, what are those?"
"well, those are called MOCHAS, imagine that." (oh the irony was delicious)
she then asked where "Twister" was. i IMMEDIATELY knew she was talking about D told her "well, that was a mean thing to say."
she said, "why? you knew who i was talking about... and where's 'Stretch' too?"
J gave her a funny look because he didn't know what she was talking about. i said, "she means D and L"
she said, "no, i mean Twister and Stretch."
she then started explaining it all to J and myself and in mid-sentence, i just look up and ask, "did you want whipped cream on your MOCHA?"
she stopped talking and then said, "ooh, she doesn't like me"
i said, "no, i just asked if you wanted whipped cream"
and she began the back-pedaling again. once they finally left i explained to J that she wasn't giving D and cute nickname, she was making fun of her. at this, J got mad and said, "no one picks on OUR employees." how sweet is that?

so i was still seething about this woman and one of my regulars, whom i have been serving for 4 years (he followed me from the 'other place') came in and i told him about the Mean Mocha woman. he said, "i'll top that"

K works at a shoe store that is residing in an old grocery store. they have THOUSANDS of shoes. (i love it there) but with retail, comes bullshit.

he started telling me that he was on the phone with his supervisor the other day and a large black man in his 40's comes up to him, takes the phone out of his hand, hangs it up and then tells K that he "needs some help"

EXCUSE ME? did i hear you right? did you just say that this man HUNG UP THE PHONE you were talking on? with your supervisor? yes ma'am, sure did.

as K stood there, holding the phone, with a bewildered look on his face, the man said, "i need some help."
K asked him if he realized that he was ON THE PHONE and then asked him if he noticed the other sales associates. the man said, "you were the only one who wasn't doing anything and the customer is always right."
K, still with the look on his face, answered the ringing phone in his hand. it was the supervisor calling back. asking him if they had been disconnected. K told the super what happened and the super was shocked. but still told K to calm down and take care of the man, and call him back later.

at this point, the man had gone over to some of the shoes and started giving K a ration of shit.
you don't have this in a bigger size?
you don't have this in a different color?
this shoe doesn't fit right?
is this all you have?
i don't like the way this shoe looks.
and on and on and on.

had i been K, knowing that he is an EXPERT kickboxer, i would have said to the man, "you wanna see some shoes? how about this shoe?" as i delivered a perfectly executed roundhouse the man's noggin.

you HAVE to be kidding me? the man got frustrated, talked shit about K's store and selection of shoes and FINALLY left.

had i NOT dropped him like a ton of bricks on the floor, i would have had him escorted out by the police. before he could have picked up a single shoe.


that put my day WAY into perspective. i wish i had a sack as big as that mans. you gotta be some kind of brave or some kind of asshole to pull shit like that. wow.


moral of the story:
people in retail deal with MORE shit on a daily basis, than you can imagine. please treat them like humans. usually you will get the same treatment in return. if not, we will share your story with the whole wide world on the internet. oh, and karma's a bitch, too.