where you hang your hat

i ache.

my whole soul hurts.


i NEED to hug the people i miss.
i NEED to hug the people i love.
i NEED to not feel like i do.


i am "homesick" right now. so, forgive the sappy-ness.

i dont know anybody here. how bad is it when you want to tell the INSURANCE man, "i love you" when you get off the phone with him, JUST because he has known us for 6 years and he is familiar?

yeah, so it took 7 weeks to get "homesick". and yes, i put it in quotes because i have so many homes. first and foremost, the place where i grew up is home. always will be.

but there is the place my family (momma, daddy, brother) lives which is also home. and thats the one i am missing right now.

i am so far away. and i was so excited about all the shit that went with moving out here:
LIVING with my husband
moving back to texas
being closer to the "other home"

that i totally ignored the fact that the other people i love most are 1500 miles away.

and i am so sad.

no one here knows me.
knows my stories.
knows my sense of humor.
hell, on one even knows my husband's name.

and it really is getting to me tonight.

granted the beer and the hormones are probably NOT helping. but fuck it.

sure, i am going to my hometown next weekend, but right now, i wanna go hug the people who love me.


im going to go cry some more now.

moo.