We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union...

so today was a good day!

those have been few and far between. those of you playing the home version are WELL aware of this. so, you can put a big "W" on today's scoreboard.

first off, when Husband got up today, we watched a really funny movie. and i don't normally laugh out loud at most movies, but this one had me LAFFIN! it was called Without a Paddle . and i mean, if you don't love Seth Green anyway...

so yeah, movies were good. the quality time was better. and that, my friends, does not suck!

so, after H went off to work, i took a really long hot soapy shower. it had been chilly around here... and the shower was extra hot. and THAT did not suck either.

i then was off to run my errand. my one. it was to get a doo-hickey for H's playstation. it helps him link up to the satellites and makes the players in his games hit a million foot homeruns and shit. it's WAY cool.
so, on my way, i called allie and we giggled as i drove. as i pulled into Best Buy, i stopped allie in the middle of her funny ass words to let her know that it was now, in fact, SNOWING. yes, ladies and germs... SNOWING. it was 60 yesterday. she informed me that "snow is wrong" and i had to agree.

while i was sitting in the parking lot, discussing the wrongness of the snow, a lady got out of her vehicle and as she turned around, i thought she had sat in something. but no, she was a victim of AssWords. you know, these name brand designers emblazoning the name of their clothing line on the ASS of the pants they sell. and since i am NOT a name brand whore, i do NOT understand this phenomenon. or would it be a compulsion?

anyway... i voiced my thoughts to allie and she made the remark that if she were to "wear pants like that, they could write the whole preamble on it" at which point i snorted, and choked at the same time. becauuuuuse.....

1. her ass is SO not big.
2. she used the word "preamble" in a sentence
3. she used it correctly
4. then not only brought it to my attention,
5. but then wanted a check - plus - plus for it
6. i gave her a gold star too

i then informed her that the preamble is not something you do BEFORE you mosey.

after the laughter subsided about that.... she then made some joke about jesus and the passover meal. and how she almost said sader... and that led us into a whole other tangent about the Psychic Prophet was the Prophet Ouija. (get it, like a ouija board, but rhymes with elijah, ahhhhh nevermind.)

we hung up and i went inside to get his alien homing device. i left there, went and got something to eat, and decided to make a few stops on my original quest i started when i moved here. i am addicted to RockStar energy drink. and i have YET to find it here in amarillo. i don't know if its a mean trick they are playing on me.. or what, but i have been unlucky in my quest.

so, i stopped at a gas station on my way home. no luck. i went to the next one down the road and as i walked inside, i made some comment about, "i thought it was supposed to be spring"

the kid behind the counter dryly says "it IS spring, hmmmph"

now, don't get all pissy with me there, Swifty. just because your daffodils haven't bloomed because Mother Nature is dinking around with the weather patterns like a plaything, does NOT mean you can take out your aggressions on me. so, i went to look for my beverage. and STILL no luck. as i turned to leave, he asked me what i was looking for. i told him and he directed me to a place that "might" have them.

a ray of hope?

a shining beacon in my otherwise gloomy path?

i'm OUTTA here. i even left a small puff of dust as i ran out the door.

i get to the place where the nectar of A.D.D. might be... and i realized i was holding my breath.

please? please? give me a break... just this once.

and there they were. just waiting for me. 2 rows. all for me.... don't worry, momma will take you home. i grabbed 5 cans like a drunk would grab 79 cent old milwaukee 32oz cans. i walked up the counter proudly and then started to feel a little like i should look more strung out, for the sake of the video cameras. so i fidgeted a lot.. and looked around a lot. yeah, that oughtta give someone a laugh.

so, the quest is not over. i just need to find somewhere closer to my house to get them. instead of driving 4.3 miles to the Pak and Sak ( i love when convenience stores misspell... its not like they are being "convenient" by not using all the letters, they are encouraging illiteracy)

but i'm home. and i am partyin like a Rock Star.

well, drinking like one, at least.

AMEN, Dave...or Because I'm the CoffeeGoddess

DECAF POOPACINO HAPPENS
DAVE BARRY
Posted on Sun, Mar. 27, 2005

I have exciting news for anybody who would like to pay a lot of money for coffee that has passed all the way through an animal's digestive tract.

And you just know there are plenty of people who would. Specialty coffees are very popular these days, attracting millions of consumers, every single one of whom is standing in line ahead of me whenever I go to the coffee place at the airport to grab a quick cup on my way to catch a plane. These consumers are always ordering mutant beverages with names like ''mocha-almond-honey-vinaigrette lattespressacino,'' beverages that must be made one at a time via a lengthy and complex process involving approximately one coffee bean, three quarts of dairy products and what appears to be a small nuclear reactor.

Meanwhile, back in the line, there is growing impatience among those of us who just want a plain old cup of coffee so that our brains will start working and we can remember what our full names are and why we are catching an airplane. We want to strike the lattespressacino people with our carry-on baggage and scream ''GET OUT OF OUR WAY, YOU TREND GEEKS, AND LET US HAVE OUR COFFEE!'' But of course we couldn't do anything that active until we've had our coffee.

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. I bet this kind of thing does not happen to heroin addicts. I bet that when serious heroin addicts go to purchase their heroin, they do not tolerate waiting in line while some dilettante in front of them orders a hazelnut smack-a-cino with cinnamon sprinkles. The reason some of us need coffee is that it contains caffeine, which makes us alert. Of course it is very important to remember that caffeine is a drug, and, like any drug, it is a lot of fun.

No! Wait! What I meant to say is: Like any drug, caffeine can have serious side effects if we ingest too much. This fact was first noticed in ancient Egypt when a group of workers, who were supposed to be making a birdbath, began drinking Egyptian coffee, which is very strong, and wound up constructing the pyramids.

I myself developed the coffee habit in my early 20s, when, as a ''cub'' reporter for the Daily Local News in West Chester, Pa., I had to stay awake while writing phenomenally boring stories about municipal government. I got my coffee from a vending machine that also sold hot chocolate and chicken-noodle soup; all three liquids squirted out of a single tube, and they tasted pretty much the same. But I came to need that coffee, and even today I can do nothing useful before I've had several cups. (I can't do anything useful afterward, either; that's why I'm a columnist.)

But here's my point: This specialty-coffee craze has gone too far. I say this in light of a letter I got recently from alert reader Bo Bishop. He sent me an invitation he received from a local company to a ''private tasting of the highly prized Luwak coffee,'' which ''at $300 a pound . . . is one of the most expensive drinks in the world.'' The invitation states that this coffee is named for the luwak, a ''member of the weasel family'' that lives on the Island of Java and eats coffee berries; as the berries pass through the luwak, a ''natural fermentation'' takes place, and the berry seeds -- the coffee beans -- come out of the luwak intact. The beans are then gathered, washed, roasted and sold to coffee connoisseurs.

The invitation states: ''We wish to pass along this once in a lifetime opportunity to taste such a rarity.'

'Or, as Bo Bishop put it: ''They're selling processed weasel doodoo for $300 a pound.''

I first thought this was a clever hoax designed to ridicule the coffee craze. Tragically, it is not. There really is a Luwak coffee. I know because I bought some from a specialty-coffee company in Atlanta. I paid $37.50 for two ounces of beans. I was expecting the beans to look exotic, considering where they'd been, but they looked like regular coffee beans. In fact, for a moment I was afraid that they were just regular beans, and that I was being ripped off.

Then I thought: What kind of world is this when you worry that people might be ripping you off by selling you coffee that was NOT pooped out by a weasel?

So anyway, I ground the beans up and brewed the coffee and drank some. You know how sometimes, when you're really skeptical about something, but then you finally try it, you discover that it's really good, way better than you would have thought possible? This is not the case with Luwak coffee. Luwak coffee, in my opinion, tastes like somebody washed a dead cat in it.

But I predict it's going to be popular anyway, because it's expensive. One of these days, the people in front of me at the airport coffee place are going to be ordering decaf poopacino. I'm thinking of switching to heroin.



thank you dave. this makes me proud to be in the Coffee Business.

sent to me by Papa John and reprinted without permission...
because its MY blog and ima gonna do what i wanna.

diamonds are a girls best friend

i got these friends, ya see....

and i don't know what i did to get them. hell, i hardly know what i do to keep them.
but i got em. and the only thing i am more aware of, is how much i appreciate them.

and i got this family, too, ya see...

and i know it was a roll of the dice that picked em for me. and i know i will always have them... and the only thing i am more aware of is how much i appreciate them.

and i am so incredibly awed by all of them. its like i got my own baseball team. and each of them are excellent hitters, but every now and then, one of them will crank one right outta the park. and just like a baseball team, they each have their positions they play.

1. First Base, we have my Mom. she sees most of the action. and if it doesn't get stopped there, its ok. she'll get the next one. i would be NOWHERE without her. she's also the one that goofs with the crowd and pulls some amazing plays out of her pocket.
2. Second Base is played by a couple of people. usually depending on who or what's at bat. it can be played by either Ang or Allie. Ang has had the position for about 15 years. so, Ang and Mom usually work well together. Allie, has been in the position for about a year and a half. and she also works well with first base. sometimes a ball is hit directly to second base. i'm glad i got these girls here for it.
3. Shortstop (yeah i know, 3rd would be next, but this is MY baseball team) playing shortstop is Special K. she gets the grounders. the ones that aren't coming high and fast. hell, sometimes she just catches pop flies. but she is ALWAYS there right next to Second base. i'm not going to imply that she is backup, but sometimes she doesn't see the meat of the action. doesn't mean i don't rely on her, because i do. she's the one that keeps the team light-hearted and having fun. she's the one that is always smiling. you can see that smile from the nosebleeds. damn good to have that.
4. Third Base is a position held by a who-lotta people. third base can be a critical position, depending on the action. they can either make or break the game. you don't hear em saying "rounding second headed for home", do you? nope. third is played by Donna, Tasty, Lola, and Mary. these girls keep the scoring down. they keep the game interesting. they keep the other team at bay. this is the posse of the team. you got shit talked in the other team's dugout, don't think these girls won't head in there.
5. the Outfield. lots of outfielders. mainly, My Father Figures; all 3 of them, Jen, Van-o, Mama B, Karebear, Kately, Lynn, Helaine, and a whole slew of others. these cats scramble for the weird ones that head their way. these are more specialized players. they get to see the ones that come directly at them. and for that this team is grateful.
6. Catcher. i got 2. Z and Ian. these boys are the ones that talk shit to the opposing team, if they have to. they call for crazy pitches when the opponents are jackasses. and if they don't want anyone advancing, they make sure they don't get to. they have to wear all the heavy gear, because sometimes they get to do the dirty work. and sometimes its like playing catch in a park. i'm glad i have them.
7. and finally, the Pitcher. this one's tough. if your pitcher is having a bad day, then there are lots of things that can and will go wrong. but if your pitcher is on, then he can pitch a no-no every day of the week. and everyone talks to the pitcher. everyone relies on the pitcher. they can either pep him up, or cheer him on. and when he knows he has a great team behind him, then he feels comfortable in his job. if he knows that if he can't keep the batter from hitting, then he knows he has lots of possibilities to stop that ball. no matter who gets it, he knows everyone behind him is going to try their hardest. and sure, the other guys knock one out occasionally, that no one saw coming. and it happens. but every team needs a great pitcher. and mine is my Husband.

by no means am i implying that these are the only people i know. it takes way more than "9" people to make a great team. you need managers and pitching coaches, trainers to fix what boo boos the players get. lotsa people have gone into my team. and i think with the team i have, we are better than the Yankees. (not saying they are a good team, just that they have to money to buy the best players)

imitation is the sincerest flattery

i stole this from Tasty because i admire her and because thats what the Numbers do.

I Live: IN TEXAS again
I Work: the main thing i am working on right now, is my marriage
I Think: i need to get back in touch with who Christel is
I Smell: the coffee, but not the roses nearly enough
I Listen: to what i want to hear
I Hide: damned near EVERYTHING
I Walk: quietly. literally and figuratively
I Write: because it's cathartic and therapeutic and sometimes just to make other people laugh
I See: possibilities
I Sing: a LOT more right now. even in my house.
I Can: make you laugh even when i am in a thousand pieces (and i can heal from that)
I Watch: people
I Daydream: about having my own roaster. and like Tasty said, "about being on a book tour with the Numbers".
I Fall: a lot. again, literally and figuratively
I Want: happiness
I Cry: too much
I Read: like books are candy
I Love: yep, just that. i love.
I Rode: out the storm
I Sometimes: want a do-over
I Fear: that the people in my life will be disappointed in me
I Hope: that when leave this earth, that i made a difference.
I Eat: like a 3 year old
I Quit: pitying myself
I Drink: a pot of coffee everyday
I Play: not nearly enough
I Miss: me
I Forgive: my husband for being so angry with me.
I Drive: and i drive and i drive, lets just GO!
I Dream: of having children
I Have: an amazing suppport group
I Remember: july 6th 2002 (and i want that back)
I Don't: give myself nearly enough credit
I Believe: there is room for improvement, but better yet, that i want to improve
I Owe: a debt of gratitude to my mom and dad that really can't be paid
I Know: things happen for a reason
I Hate: ignorance, lack of ambition, prejudice, impoliteness, and those who don't realize that we all have to live on this ant farm together.
I Feel: lucky, blessed, hopeful, trusted, responsible, scared, excited, curious, ashamed, proud, and most of all loved.



BUT, i think i should so this every month. i know my answers will change based on my life at that moment, but this is a good measuring stick.

tuesday, take two

ok, so my first post today was total bullshit. it was a draft from JANUARY. i just didnt have anything to give, this morning. so i did the lazy girls blogging. and felt bad that i had nothing to give.

and then.....

i saw this.

and then i saw this.

and that reminded me that:

1. this is MY blog. i don't have to be funny all the time. i try. it's self-defense. it's ingrained. but NOT gonna happen all the time. if you want funny this time, then skip ahead in your reading. TODAY is not the day for funny.
2. i have awesome friends. Numbers, Fractions, Queens, Special K, Ang, Jenny, and my veryownpersonal FAMILY. and soon, my Husband, again.
3. It's ok to hurt. and i do. a lot right now. a whole lot. but it's ok. and ummm... err... it will be too.

i could go totally journally right now. but let's just have the cliff's notes.

1. i hurt my husband.
2. for a long time.
3. he, in response, "checked out"
4. i got angry.
5. and hurt him some more.
6. and he got angry.
7. for a long time.
8. we have talked it out.
9. we have yelled it out.
10. i have cried it out.
11. we are working on "hugging it out"
12. responsibility and accountability are big words.
13. with BIGGER repercussions.
14. i think we are on the same page.
15. not the same road.
16. but the forks will meet again.

i know it was vague. but though this is MY blog, its still public domain and some things i have a right to leave out. and some things i just need to get out of me.

so, yes, i hurt right now. but we are working on it. together.

the wood song,

by my favorite girls of the indigo variety

The thin horizon of a plan is almost clear

My friends and I have had a tough time

Bruising our brains hard up against change

All the old dogs and the magician

Now I see we’re in the boat in two by twos

Only the heart that we have for a tool we could use

And the very close quarters are hard to get used to

Love weighs the hull down with it’s weight

But the wood is tired and the wood is old

And we’ll make it fine if the weather holds

But if the weather holds we’ll have missed the point

That’s where I need to go

No way construction of this tricky plan

Was built by other than a greater hand

With a love that passes all out understanding

Watching closely over the journey

Yeah but what it takes to cross the great divide

Seems more than all the courage I can muster up inside

Although we get to have some answers when we reach the other side

The prize is always worth the rocky ride

But the wood is tired and the wood is old

And we’ll make it fine if the weather holds

But if the weather holds we’ll have missed the point

That’s where I need to go

Sometimes I ask to sneak a closer look

Skip to the final chapter of the book

And then maybe steer us clear from some of the pain it took

To get us where we are this far yeah

But the question drowns in it’s futility

And even I have got to laugh at me

No one gets to miss the storm of what will be

Just holding on for the ride

The wood is tired and the wood is old

We’ll make it fine if the weather holds

But if the weather holds we’ll have missed the point

That’s where I need to go

baby, i love you.

it's a GIRL!!!!

one of my very good friends gave birth to her second child yesterday.

at 5:30 am, on St. Patrick's Day, the world welcomed it's newest Princess:

Elena Grace

7 lbs, 7 oz. 20 inches long. 10 fingers. 10 toes. tiara on order.

Hang on Sweet Girl, it's a WILD RIDE.

especially with your Auntie Christel holding the reins.

sell-out

yes, its true. the Numbers have sold out.

yes, we are creative.
yes, we are funny.
yes, we are sexy.
yes, we say stuff that should be on T-Shirts and Coffee Mugs.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, go here to see ALL THE COOL SHIT WE HAVE!!!!


now you too can look and act like your favorite Number.
we will be coming out with more items with the cool shit we say.

you might can't BE a Number, but you can Look Like One!


all monies (come on we upped the price a BUCK) will go to:

The Numbers Chocolate, Liquor, and Tattoo Fund.


shop big and shop often!

can i have a do-over?

as i was leaving my house today, to go to the bank, some JACKASS decided that road rules didn't apply to him and since i was considered "oncoming traffic" that i should STOP for him. and by this i mean, some FUCKTARD didn't see me and WHIPPED into a parking lot RIGHT in FRONT of me, causing me to not only slam on my brakes, but fishtail in the middle of the road, and have everything that could fly forward in my truck to launch from safety. and i missed him by an inch. no lie.

as i was stopped in the road, i was trying to figure out if he was going to get out of his car and see if i was ok... but all he did, while i was giving him the "what in THE hell did you think YOU were doing" look, he just shrugs. as if to imply, "sorry....... but you lived. no harm.. no foul."

i drove off with every ounce of adrenaline dumped into my blood stream and shakily drove myself to the bank.

after i left the bank, i headed to CVS and then to get gas.

and that is where i paid nearly 2 dollars a gallon for gas.

now correct me if i am wrong, but i live in Texas, right? don't we make our OWN gas here? what the hell else are those oil rigs doing besides dotting the landscape?
i put in $10 and the gas gauge LAUGHED at me.

as i was leaving the gas station, i reached for one of the hundred things that were now on the floor and gouged myself in the hip with my seatbelt.

so i called allie to complain. i got voicemail. and i did just that, i complained to her voicemail.

i called my old boss, you know, the Original Jackass... and ask if he had sent my LAST paycheck. he informed me that he will send it "tomorrow". meanwhile i have been checking the mailbox everyday looking for some spending money.

i got to the restaurant and got out of my truck... and locked my keys inside. i mean, OF COURSE i did.
i pulled the spare out of my purse, because i am "THAT GIRL", got my real keys and went inside to get my salad i had been wanting since i woke up this morning. i mean, i Googled all salad bars in amarillo and this one has a potato and soup bar too! because i have been on a monster salad bar kick lately. its healthy, right?

i made it home without issue, except for the newspapers flying out of the back of my truck. i can just see myself getting pulled over for littering. it would have happened today.

my salad was great. not the greatest.... but it did its job.

now its 8:21 pm and i got a whole lotta night still left. think i can manage to NOT destroy myself before i go to sleep? let's hope.







BUT, the good points of my day.

1. 2 separate "good ole boys" held the doors for me at the bank. yay Texas!
2. they had Burt's Bees at CVS. yay lips!
3. the hair color i bought was on sale. yay new hair!
4. this is my new hair color! YAY!
5. i have plenty of shiner beers to keep me satisfied for the night. yay beer.
6. and i am going to play my new video game until the wee hours of the morning. yay games!

so. today had its ups and downs.

freaking moo.

my maserati does 185

welp.
its been a week. since i have O-FISH-ALLY been a Texan again. and i will admit, its weird. its weird going to the grocery store and finding the things i had to smuggle back with me to SC, just sitting on the shelves. just as plain as day, waiting for me to buy them. and knowing i don't have to use them sparingly, because they are so precious. (you know i am talking about Hell On The Red salsa, right, Ang?)

but since i DO make my own salsa, with an awesome recipe from Ang, might i add. i bought something completely different. we aren't quite up to the grocery caliber of having salsa makings. right now its all canned food and gatorade.... but i digress.

it's nice to live in Texas again. but i do miss my friends. and my family. i even had a little "i really miss my mommie moment" the other night. (and by that i mean, the BAD CRY!) but i am adjusting.

we haven't been to the Big Texan yet. i am waiting for the Baby Jesus before we go. *side note* my Husband doesn't understand that you have to say it like this: baybeejeezuus. all one word. sheesh.

and THAT brings me to my point. (i really don't think i have one today. )

yesterday, H and i decided that we wanted to sit around and play video games all night. yes, i am a gamer. fuckin duh! so we looked up some reviews on a game that his friends told him about. and we decided to go get it. we went to go eat "lunch". since we are on his schedule, it was 5:30 in the evening. we left there and went to various game stores and then to walmart. the nice one. we came home and had to set up the online account... and then set up our gaming account. and then had dance the polka and do a handspring. TADA!

but BEFORE we load the game, H wants to install the new Norton software first. uhh..ok. so i sat and read my new book from KareBear and was content to listen to him when he told me about the features the software had. it was nice. then, i wanted chips and nacho cheese. you know, the NASTY kind like you get at ball games and movies. so i left and went to the store. i bought the fixings for said snack and came home to find H in the same spot doing the same thing as he was. (good to know he stays on task.) i made the snack and he FINALLY decides to put the game in.


and nothing.
no spinning.
no loading.
no recognizing that there is even a CD in the "cupholder" (another story for another time.)

hmmm.. so he takes it out and tries a different CD we have. it works just fine. he tries several others and we finally decide the disk is defective. we grab our shoes and coats and head BACK to walmart. we split up as soon as we hit the door. i head to get another game, he heads to customer service. see, we are a TEAM.
we take our NEW game and go home.

BUT, i forgot to tell you THIS! our game came with a miniature superhero. and he was broken. and i told H that should have been our first clue. so, we pry open the box to find the SAME hero. CURSES! this one better work. and he was just as non-exciting as the last one.

se we are back home with our new game. and we put it in and
nothing.
no spinning.
no loading.
A-gain.

ok, coats, shoes and we decide to head to ANOTHER walmart.
they don't have the same kind we got. so we leave there and head to the OTHER walmart. (yeah, i have 3. neener) and THEY don't have the game. it is now 10:30. we have driven all over amarillo looking for this game.

we go back to the original walmart and trade out our game for the FINAL game they have.
we get home and yep. you guessed it:
nothing.
no spinning.
no loading.

H then emails customer service. they respond within 5 minutes. they have him configuring the jiggawatts. and the computer is doing bird calls and then it turns into a pong game and then dancing bears and the russian women doing calisthenics....

and nothing.

at this point, i have had enough. i am going to bed. i am D-U-N. done.
i am laying in bed, watching a movie... falling asleep when he comes in announcing that he is a RETARD.
he says, "what did the box for the game say?"
"it said special DVD version"
yep. DVD version. we don't have a DVD drive.

FUCKING DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we are, as Judd likes to say, GOTARDS.

criminy.
so, he leaves to go get the RIGHT game. and i continue to slumber.

he wakes me up at 7:30 this morning telling me that we cant return it after 11, because the munchkins will come to our house and eat our eyeballs...or some shit. so we have to go back TODAY and get the right game.

now, that i have built up all that suspense, i bet you want to know what game it is.
its called City of Heroes.

its an RPG (role-playing game) BUT WITH SUPERHEROES!!!!! does that have MY name written ALL over it or WHAT?

i really CAN be WonderGirl, now. i mean, i already am... but now i can FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

so here i sit in my Wonder Woman jammies. waiting for H to get up so we can go BACK to walmart and get our game. YAY US!

wanna go ride bikes?

moo, y'all.

enough of that, let's get back to me.

yeah yeah, i love the list, but it doesn't make for great commenting on how clever, witty, charming, or funny i am.


so, here is a real post. one that will be worthy of said comments.

• Special K: the only words that keep ringing in my ears are, "oh my goodness" which you kept saying over and over as we stood in the vacant Target parking lot, SOBBING on each other. i hate that i am now Very Far Away. and i never got to see your amusement park house. i love you so much.
• Donna: now, you know that everything is bigger in Texas. i bet that includes HATS! i cant wait until you come here and we can play with the ReallyBig Hats. please eat a half pound of chocolate each day and think of how much i miss you and love you.
• Karen: you better call me the INSTANT that child is born. i have a baby blanket to make and grey is no good color for babies. great for neutral, but not so much for babies. (p.s. i STILL am going to call her Gabby Grace. even if she's a boy) and i love and miss you, too.
• Kately: my heart nearly broke into a hunnert peices seeing you on saturday. who is going to be there for you when the world gets too big for you? just remember you can always call me, my little Katelyn Katelyn, Schweetie Schweetie.
• Zo: beeeeeeeeee boooooooop. (sadly)
• Stef: you better keep those boys in line. and remember, you can always call me for a movie line. love and coffeebeans.
• Jase: i know they aren't making your drink right. i just know it.
• Kevvy Kev: you know everything works out in the end, right? all great movies do.
• ALL of my little Gay Boyfriends: NOW who is going to dress me? dammit!
• Numb3rs: just because i am far does not mean i am FAR away. it just means we now have to make MORE time to see each other since it will be so precious. and i dont think the word "love" is strong enough.
• Momma: i will see you in 2 weeks. and i love you more than air. more than chocolate-covered air. life is a banquet.
• TEXANS: I AM HOME!!!! come play with me!

moo y'all.

because being a numb3r means being a sheep

this has been stolen fair and square from about 5 different blogs. my favorite ones it was stolen from are #3 GA, #5 IN,and devilboss,

(X) snuck out of the house
(X) gotten lost in your city (i am sure i will soon, i dont know my way around here yet.)
(X) seen a shooting star
(X ) been to any other countries besides the united states
( ) had a serious surgery
(X) gone out in public in your pajamas
(X) kissed a stranger
(X) hugged a stranger/kissed one too!
(X ) been in a fist fight
( ) been arrested
(X) done drugs
(X) drank alcohol
(X) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
(X) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
(X) made out in an elevator
( ) slept in an elevator
(X) swore at your parents
(X) kicked a guy where it hurts (on accident)
(X) been in love (and still am)
(X) been close to love
(X) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving (not yet!)
(X) broken a bone
(X) been high
( ) skinny-dipped
(X) skipped school (not until my senior year of HS and my mom was home. i had to spend all day there)
(X) flashed someone - real recently
(X) seen a therapist
(X) done the splits (not on purpose)
(X) played spin the bottle
(X) gotten stitches
(X) had an IV ( i think when i was born)
( ) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour (EWWW! who drinks milk?)
(X) bitten someone (just in bed!)
( ) been to Niagara Falls
(X) gotten the chicken pox
(X) kissed a member of the opposite sex
(X) kissed a member of the same sex (have you MET the numb3rs?)
( ) crashed into a friend's car (not so much crashed, per se)!
( ) been to Japan (and never hope to)
(X) ridden in a taxi
(X) been dumped
(X ) shoplifted (oh yeah, i have lots of karmic debt for that)
(X) been fired
(X) had a crush on someone of the same sex (again, have you met the numb3rs?)
(X) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back (hmmmm, ang, you want to help me answer this one?)
(X) stole something from your job
(X) gone on a blind date
(X) lied to a friend (only if its to keep them safe)
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans (eww, germs)
(X) been to Europe
(X) slept with a co-worker
(X) been married
( ) gotten divorced (not gonna)
( ) had children (its on the list of things to do)
( ) saw someone die
( ) been to Africa
(X) Driven over 400 miles in one day (ummm, YEAH! dur.)
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Thrown up in a bar
( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(X) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been snowboarding
(X) Met someone in person from the internet. (hmmm, husband, CHECK, numb3rs, CHECK, queens, CHECK)
( ) Been moshing at a rock show
(X) Cut yourself on purpose
( ) Been to a moto cross show
( ) lost a child (i lost my paddington bear once)
(X) gone to college
( ) graduated from college
( ) done hard drugs
(X) tried killing yourself (and by tried i mean had intent, just no guts)
(X) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now (more than any of you will EVER know)

yep, LOVE the list.

MOO

Husband and i figured that if regular cows said "MOO" then texas cows must say, "MOO Y'ALL"


just one of the things that gave us endless amounts of laughter on the 21 hour trip to Home.

so, obviously we made it.
and without any problems.

we spent the night at mom and dad's saturday night. we got up at 4:30 on sunday, and they got up to see us off. and mom even made me ORANGE cinnamon rolls. how much does she love ME? went home and finished packing up the truck. FINALLY left around 7 and headed west.

we drugged our cats and that was an adveture in and of itself. and every time thereafter, it got harder and harder. i still have small holes in me from their razor sharp claws. i hope it doesnt rain anytime soon, i would leak.

we drove through memphis and on to arkansas. we got almost to oklahoma when i couldnt take it anymore. the cats were being unruly, and i was about to jump out of the truck. 14 hours was enough.
we stopped in clarksville and slept on the BEST bed ever. it was called a "pillow top" and was exactly that! we didnt want to get up the next morning.

but we did. and we hit the road about 10. and yes, once we crossed the Texas state line, i cried. i am a baby. i admit it freely and willingly. shut up.

we got to our apartment, which really wasnt as bad as H made it seem. it just needs a woman's touch, that's all.
we dropped of the kittygirls and went running errands. we finally crashed around 11 and slept like babies.
his buddies got there around 2 to help us unpack and that went just fine, unil they came to drop off all the stuff i had on their list. they basically just dropped it on a flat spot and went and got more.

at least i was able to direct some of them. all the kitchen boxes are in the kitchen, but we had 2 coffee tables in the living room blocking us from gettting to the hall closet.... blah blah blah.

BUT we have a living room that is sorta set up. we have a bedroom in the making. and the kitchen still has 10 boxes in it. goot lawd. that is going to be one hell of a project.
but its MY project.
in MY new home.
in MY home state.
with MY husband.
and i love it!


so, i miss all of you. and i want to thank all of you who came to the Going Away Gathering. for those of you who said you were coming and did not, you better start the Sucking Up now. ;)
it will be noted come Christmas Card Time.

moo y'all.