not Benjamin

so i started this new diet on monday. and the first couple of days i have to drink this herbal stuff mixed with water and like 84 thousand more gallons of water. no food. not until day 3. its supposed to cleanse and replace nutrients.

so needless to say, i have become a pee-er. and those who know me know i am not a pee-er unless i have had too much to drink... or yeah.. too much to drink.

i peed 18 times yesterday.

18.

in one day.

ME!

and as i was sharing this story with allie tonight... i informed her that i "was slowly ridding myself of the fat girl through my urethra."


i could hear her blink over the phone.

and then i said, "see... i wanted to see how far i could go with the word urethra... it would either be funny, or it would have been 'imaneed you NOT to use the word urethra' so i took a chance."

at this point she said, "you should call it your Franklin"

this time she heard ME blink over the phone.

"my Franklin? why Franklin?"
































"as in ARETHA FRANKLIN!!!"



at this point we lost it. i mean full on giggle that turns into a laugh that leaves you breathless.

and i said to her, "you have to stop, my Franklin has been overused for the past 2 days"
and much more laughter ensued.
and then i told her i HAD to write it.

so here i am.
in between pee breaks.