oh, who am i kidding, honey? it spans from the freckle on my bottom lip all the way down to my old broken toe. (no, its not a new break, it just never got fixed) yeah yeah, i know enough with the analogies....
what im TRYING to say, is i'm silly. and funny. a who-lotta both. not to toot my own horn.... (again, who am i kidding?) BUT.... here is a story for the archives.
yestiddy, Husband and i had a nice lazy scantly-clad day. partially because it was about 12 kamillion degrees in here... and partly because he has a nice ass. trust me.
and once we finally got out of bed and relocated to the sofa... we continued watching baseball. i mean, DUR, it's INNER LEAGUE PLAY! so.... our boys (the Reds for those of you NOT playing the home game) were sucking ass. like giant hairy heffalump ass. through a straw. and not a bendy straw either... that would have at least suggested fun being had.
and there was this play that got called wrong... or someone missed a catch... or something. and i called the player a "Fuck Monkey"
and H's head slowly turned as he looked at me with a giant question mark above his head and said, "A.... Fuck..... Monkey?????"
"yep. Fuck Monkey."
"let me get this right, a FUCK MONKEY?"
"yeah, Fuck Monkey. not quite a Poo Flinger."
"now, Fuck Monkey, is that the TECHNICAL term?"
oh no. the technical term would be.....
PRIMATUS FORNICATUS!
dur."
at which point he totally lost it. he just laughed and shook his head and said, "unbelievable how you just come up with shit like that" and laughed some more.
even later on, during the game, he would look over at me and let out a little laugh or two.
i love making him laugh. its just goodness.
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so i called allie later that night and related the story to her... and H could actually hear the howls of laughter THROUGH the phone.
so, we decided that will be the name of our band...
no, we dont really have one. but if we did... it would be called PRIMATUS FORNICATUS. kinda catchy, no?
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