sappy... oh, and a story about the mom.

sent to me this morning by my mom:

TO THE WONDERFUL WOMEN IN MY CIRCLE
When I was little, I used to believe in the concept of one best friend, and then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up, God would show you the best in many friends.
One friend is needed when you're going through things with your significant other.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say let's pray together, another let's cry together, another let's fight together, another let's walk away together.
One friend will meet your spiritual need, another your shoe fetish, another your love for movies, another will be with you in your season of confusion, another will be your clarifier, another the wind beneath your wings.
But whatever their assignment in your life, on whatever the occasion, on whatever the day, or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back, or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself ... those are your best friends.
It may all be wrapped up in one woman, but for many it's wrapped up in several... one from 7th grade, one from high school, several from the college years, a couple from old jobs, several from church, on some days your mother, on some days your neighbor, on others your sisters, and on some days your daughters....or it may be some of the new people you just met!
So whether they've been there 20 minutes or 20 years, be thankful for the women in your life who make a difference.



and speaking of my mom... i realized i hadn't posted about her visit. DUR!
she got in on monday, we came back to the Itty Bitty Living Space and dropped off her bags, then headed off on BBQ Hunt Day 1. i took her to Dyer's, which was the first BBQ place where i ate when i got here, perhaps you remember THIS story? i mean, those sinks alone are worth going for. we ate and laughed and i still couldn't believe that she was here. i kept pinching her to make sure she was real. i bet she had 50 bruises when she left. we left there and went on a plant hunt. i had decided that i want plants here and i am NOT going to kill them. yes, i was the girl who couldn't keep aloe vera alive. shut it.
so we bought plants and came home and commenced with the drinkin. her with her pink wine.. and me with my beers. it was HAPPINESS! meanwhile, it was sweltering in the IBLS so i turned on the "air conditioner" and then we heard a voice. it was the kid from across the courtyard, on a ladder, under my window, trying to fix the a/c. bless his heart, we scared the shit out of him. so, we sat and talked while he dinked with the A/C, now, lovingly renamed "The Swamp Cooler" because all it does is blow semi cold air at loud and high speeds into the living room. but it works. so we chatted and drank and laughed and i pinched and we had a great time. the next morning i was off work so got our asses in gear and went shopping some more... and then met Husband for lunch at the mexican place that has the "best chile rellenos". that's what momma wanted, that's what momma will get.... too bad once we got there, we found out they had NO smoking section, AND they don't serve margaritas. oooooh, did she let him have it for that! once she forgave him, they talked golf and i drank beers. we left there and came home and mom took a nap ON the FLOOR, right in front of the Swamp Cooler. could we have been more low-rent? after her nap, she informed me that it was TIME FOR MARGARITAS! yes ma'am. will do. so we sat and drank margaritas and talked and talked and cried and talked and made mexican cornbread and talked some more. then went to bed exhausted.

i had to go to work the next day, so mom loaded her spades game on the computer and i left her here with her cards. when i got home, she was STILL IN HER JAMMIES, STILL PLAYING CARDS!!!! this is the woman who yelled at me when we bought a new computer game a month ago. hello, Pot, i'd like you to meet Kettle! once i finally got her motivated to put on some clothes..... we went for lunch at BBQ place #2. we heard Country Barn had good BBQ, so we gave it a shot. the inside was VERY cheesy with elvis and marilyn and old cars on for decoration, but the trip to the bathroom was fun... the whole restaraunt is very dark, and the door to the bathroom looks like a barn door, but once you open that door... it was wall to wall ceiling to floor 3 inch wide beveled mirror "paneling" even the door to the bathrooms were mirrored. i thought for a minute i had entered a portal to Las Vegas! the 3986 million images of me made our way to the ladies room where inside there was ALL black with TEXAS SHAPED SINKS!!!!!! again, with the yay! now that i know they are in more than one place, i am SO getting one installed in our house when we build. if H has a problem with it, he can kiss my native ass.

but back to the the story... the bathroom was worth the trip (side story: when my brother ian was little, he would have to go check out the bathroom no matter where we went.... we would joke about it, when he would just get up in the middle of eating to go see them. i think that quality in me was dormant) but the food SUCKED BUTT. capital S ... capital B. we left there and went shopping SOME MORE, hello, we're girls. its what we do.
we came home and watched movies... err, I watched movies, MOM played cards. i even made a comment about "this is quality time? we could do this at YOUR house!!!!" and right about that time, i got ganged up on by both her and H saying, "you don't have to always be DOING something together for quality time" yeah yeah yeah... shut it.

around 11 that night, we made the obligatory whataburger run. you have to. it ain't texas, if you don't.
we got up the next morning and Cranky Husband took us to breakfast at Jerry's. its a hole in the wall-middle of downtown-drive too fast and you'll miss it place. but they have these BRISKET BREAKFAST BURRITOS. (i have to write it big to express to you the sheer SIZE of these monsters) picture a dinner plate sized tortilla STUFFED with brisket, eggs, hashbrowns and cheese. add to that ho-made salsa... and ascend directly to heaven.

mom finally got good BBQ... now i could put her on a plane with a clear conscience. H went back home for more sleep (he needed it) and we took off for the airport. we goofed off there for a while... even managed to get a little but more shipping in... and then we said our "see you in two weeks" (it makes it easier to handle if its in 2 week increments) and off she went.
i hope to get back to SC in september... and see the rest of my family. but i miss her. and that's part of the reason i drug my feet on writing this... if i wrote it, it would mean she was really not here anymore.

so, momma, i love you and will see you in 2 weeks.

to the rest of the girls in my life, i am so eternally grateful to have you. i love you all.

dad is great.. he gave us chocolate cake....

yes, i am a coffee snob. and have been in the coffee business for 10 years. COMMA but...... my first love is baking. (they kinda go hand in hand, no?)

j'adore baking.

i was the girl who used to go "visit" a blue KitchenAid mixer at Best Buy. when Husband and i found ourselves there, i would go see it... and touch it lovingly on its shiny parts.... and stroke the sparkly blue exterior and whisper to it, "some day soon, momma will come to take you home"

so, this december, our little blue mixer will be 4. in honor of the day, i will bake a cake! tee hee.


i find baking very therapeutic. when my life is all chaotic... i find solace in measuring and scooping and using EXACT measurements to achieve something that is not only art, but i can eat it too. it brings order to the craziness.



or, i just bake because it's a monday.


i got a wild hair. no, scratch that. i got inspired on sunday when Husband and i went to The Big Texan for lunch. as we were walking to our table, we saw the "dessert table" that was groaning from the sheer weight of some of these monstrosities. they even had a very large chocolate cake... at the sight of which, H says, "now THAT'S a chocolate cake" i said, "no dear, that's an OTTOMAN!" and it really was almost as big as one.

well, after we ate, we considered taking a slab of it home. and i told H i would much rather MAKE him a cake. (see, i have this new silicone fancy bundt pan i wanted to try out.... you can guess where this is going, right?)
and so i asked him what kind of cake he wanted... and he was trying to get all fancy with german chocolate icing... or "something with cream cheese" and i had to tell him that you "DO NOT frost bundt cakes" which we renamed "swing-away cakes" in honor of it being baseball season and all.

but i digress.....

last night, i got the fixings for my Now Famous Chocolate FUCK ME Cake. so named, because "Better Than Sex Cake" is SOOOOOOOOOO overused... and its so good, you actually might want to get intimately involved with it. and the bake-r usually gets "rewarded" for it. and that's also why it's not Chocolate FUCK YOU Cake.


its oh so easy. ready?

ingredients for the cake:

• one box of devil's food cake (COME ON.... i said it was EASY)
• one box of instant chocolate fudge pudding mix
• one 6 oz bag of nestle semi-sweet chips
• and all the stuff that goes into making the cake.. oil.. eggs....BUT instead of water, use brewed coffee. you have to do this first.. and then set it in the fridge to cool.

ingredients for the fudgy ganache icing:

• 12 oz of nestle semi-sweet baking bars (6 of the wrapped squares)
• heavy whipping cream
• honey

to make the cake:

1. grease and flour (instead of flour, use cocoa powder) a bundt pan. (i have the cathedral one... what a BITCH to wash)
2. mix cake according to directions, remember to substitute the water for coffee
3. after it is blended, mix in the pudding powder
4. add the chocolate chips, stirring carefully so you don't break them
5. pour into the pan.
6. it may take longer than the box says to bake... just watch it.
7. once it's baked, let it cool for about 20 minutes IN the pan. then flip it out onto whatever you are going to serve it on and let it cool for about 45 more minutes.

to make the ganache icing:

1. in a double boiler, melt the squares about halfway, then add 1/4 cup of heavy cream and 1 tablespoon of honey (this makes it shiny) and then finish melting. it may look lumpy and weird, just keep stirring it till its shiny and smooth.
2. pour/drizzle over the cake
3. serve naked, because it saves time, and because you are about to be REWARDED!!!!

because as they say, a way to a man's heart is through his stomach,

or if you are more realistic, its through his ribcage with a short stabbing motion. but only use this technique if the cake doesn't get you laid.

DQ

a little background info:

last saturday, Husband and i went out for what we thought was going to be a fancy dinner. and by "fancy" i mean, “does not come in a paper sack”
so we got all cleaned up and headed out the door to a place i heard had good burgers. and we assumed that this place was the kind where someone waits on us. well, it wasn’t ... AND we were WAY TOO cute for this place, but we ate anyway. and while we were eating, H says, “since this was a bust, you owe me fancy dessert”
ok. i can do that.
but then we decided that we would have “fancy dessert” the next day when we went to a better fancy place for dinner.

so we decided on Dairy Queen for ice cream. it went with the theme of a lame dinner.
we got to DQ and saw that the line was really long, so we decided to just go inside. well as soon as we got out, i realized i left my purse at the non-fancy burger establishment. back in the car, go get my purse. and as we get closer back to DQ i say, well maybe the line will be shorter this time.

yeah, it was longer.
so in we headed.

and this was where our night got surreal.

we approached the counter and there were about 5 employees wandering around. one was sweeping, one was going back and forth to the kitchen, and who knows what the others were really doing, all we knew was they were doing a damn fine job of NOT HELPING US.

(forgive me if it sounds like i am judgmental or mean…. i am STILL angry about the whole thing.)

one girl with WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too much blue eyeliner and bad blonde hair told the girl who was sweeping, to help us. now sweeping girl had eyes that are SO far apart, that i think they were actually considered ears at this point. AND had on the thick glasses that made her eye/ears look about as big around as golfballs.

dig that one for a hot second.

so, Fish Girl looked at us, with disgust…. and S L O W L Y made her way over to the register.

Husband: “hi there, how are you tonight?”
FG: *grumble* “fine” *grumble*
and then she turned around and walked away to put her broom up and came back, reluctantly
Husband: “we’ll have a chocolate dipped cone and a chocolate blah blah utopia”
FG: * heavy sigh* (and not even SLIGHTLY under her breath) “i don’t even want to do this” (as she looked around to find someone else to do her VERY tedious task of DOING HER JOB!!!)

H and i looked at each other as if to say, “oh HELL no, she did NOT just say that, did she?”
i think she called EyeLiner over to relieve her so she could get back to doing a shitty half-assed job of sweeping

H then told EL that we “would like to have a chocolate dipped cone and a chocolate blah blah utopia”
she looked like she knew what she was doing, repeated the order back to us, and then stared at the register / thing where all you have to do is match the words you heard with the words/pictures on the touch pad and said, “hmmm… now where is that?”

OH, COME ON!!!

she pushed some buttons, told us our total, and took his card to swipe…. and then came back and handed him his receipt and handed him his dipped cone and then walked off.
and then finds the kid with the tongue problem and tells him to make our order, because she “is going on break”

you mean to tell me that you cannot wait one more minute to FINISH waiting on some customers?????????

she then walked back into the kitchen and we saw her flirting with the fucking cooks.
you mean to tell me that she cant make MY fucking ice cream because she has to go flirt with the COOKS?????

SOMEONE fucking shoot me.

she then came BACK out of the kitchen, with her belly all hanging over her pants and asked the “manager” to ring her up for cheese fries.
H said, quietly, and snidely to me, “ummm, sweetie, I really don’t think you NEED them, do you?”

meanwhile, he was eating his dipped cone. we were STILL waiting for MY ice cream and the woman behind us was getting her order of 2 dipped cones. simple enough, right?

these were the saddest dipped cones in the history of dipped cones. one was about 6 inches tall and really skinny and pointy. it was a feat in gravity. the other one was about 3 inches high, pouring over the sides and dripping chocolate. i guess they had tested gravity too much with the first one and didn't want to take anymore chances.
DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT hand someone something that is supposed to be identical…. and ISNT.
have you no pride???

H looked at me with disbelief, and said, “did you see that?” and we just stared and could only say, “WOW!”

REALLY? REALLY? you REALLY handed those to a customer and expected them to be ok with that??

well, the woman took them. we wouldn’t have. but at this point, i was willing to take anything, because i was STILL waiting for my ice cream.
and we watched FG attempt to sweep. we watched EL try to run game. we watched Tongue Boy try to figure out how to make my order as we watched him do nothing else, but wipe up the counter. oh, and hang his tongue out of his mouth.

at this point, the cooks had gotten involved in the amazement that it’s taking this long to get ICE CREAM. one of them even said to the other, “look, that guy's almost finished with HIS ice cream” as even THEY stared in bewilderment at the ineptitude flowing forth from the "front of the house"

FINALLY, i had enough. i was RAGINGLY hormonal…. and the only thing i wanted was some fucking ice cream. well the ice cream was just the transportation for the chocolate that was hopefully going to bring me ONE minute of satisfaction against the tides of estrogen.

we went BACK up to the counter…. and i asked "what’s taking so long?"
someone said "they are trying to figure out HOW to make it."

WHAT?
did you just say HOW?

so i said, “you know what, i’ll just take a brownie batter blizzard, if they DON’T know how to make the thing i ordered”. that’s when either TB or the manager said, “we are out of brownie bits”

i said, “then WHY DIDN’T ANYONE SAY SOMETHING???????? we have been standing here waiting for nearly 10 minutes, my husband is almost FINISHED with HIS ice cream.....(deep breath)... you know what, i’ll just take my money back, and we will be on our way.”

manager girl says, “well i can still try to make it for you but without the brownie in it”

at this point, i was no longer responsible for what came out of my mouth. i looked her straight in her eyes and said,

“THEN YOU ARENT EXACTLY MAKING ME WHAT I ORDERED, THEN ARE YOU??????”

husband gently took my arm and sweetly said in a don't-make-any-sudden-moves-and-you-might-still-keep-your-kneecaps kind of way, “baby, why don’t you go to the car”

I wasn’t going anywhere!

the “manager” gave us back our money. And then, DID NOT apologize.

So as we walked out the door, i threw back, “SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR INCONVENIENCE!!!” and we left.

and we were just shocked. it would have been fine if it had JUST been one or two of the things that happened…. but the fact that it was SUCH a crazy chain of events.

so, as we drove to Sonic, we replayed it. and STILL could not believe it.

needless to say, i will be writing a letter to the manager of that store, and OH YEAH I will be sending a copy of it to the Corporate Office as well.

i hope SOMETHING comes good comes out of this; i would hate to impose a DAIRY QUEEN ban too.

even husband said, “don’t tell me we have to boycott DQ, like Domino’s now, too.”

we shall see, my love…. we shall see.

of books and maps....

you know what happens when i am left to my own devices in the HTML world?

i end up putting weird shit on my blog.

if you will look to the right, you will see a little button that says, Sign my Guestbook and if you click on it, you can leave me cool little notes. kinda like comments, but i/you dont have to go back through all the posts to read them. AND since i KNOW i have lots of visitors to my site, who never comment, maybe they will be more willing to sign my guestbook.



AND....

under the Dancing Monkey (also on the right) there is a new button that says VIEW MY GUESTMAP. its a kickass new thing where you can let me know where friends and visitors are from.
how much do I rock, NOW???

good thing texas is so big, i bet i get LOTS of folks from here. i bet they look for "BITCHES FROM AMARILLO WHO ROCK SO HARD THEY COULD ONLY LIVE IN TEXAS". (i'm sure that was an ACTUAL google search) and they find me. i mean DUR, i'm THAT cool.

so, sign the thing... and then poke me.... err, i mean poke my map.

brought to you by the letter C

today's blog will be random... so try to keep up.


NUMBER 1: my mommie will be here in T minus 3 hours. i am so excited i am like a dog waiting to go outside!

NUMBER two: i got juju for allie... not knowin why, but i do. why don't you send her some, too?

NUMBER 3: i am D-U-N with work today. how nice is that????

NUMBER four: it's already getting hot here. i mean, we JUST had snow a week ago. oh, and have i mentioned our LACK of air conditioner? fuck the sauna, come to our house!

NUMBER 5: our house is CLEAN!!!! not only because mom is coming, but just because i needed to do some purging. there are times when i feel all ucky thinking about the last people who lived here. not like they were dirty or anything,. i just get a vibe... and i am one sage stick short of smudging this place to get out all the evil spirits too. i mean, i know why i get this way... its partly the germ thing... and partly just hating thinking about people who were here BEFORE me. and their essence? spirit? aura? hell, i don't know... but i feel it here. well, FELT it here... this house has been PURGED of all things prior to my arrival! so, to the previous tenant(s), YOU HAVE BEEN PURGED!!!! seek shelter elsewhere. no more weird stain on the oven... no more crappy shelf liner.... its just me and my Husband and all our lovin in here now. a love nest, if you will. a clean, shiny, love nest.

NUMBER six: mom and i are going to eat SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much barbeque while she's here... we might even TURN INTO briskets our ownselves.

NUMBER 7: Husband has started playing golf again.... he is really excited about it. he did really great on his first day back. this really means a lot to him, considering that he is so great at EVER SINGLE OTHER SPORT HE ATTEMPTS!!!!!! and golf is the one that gives him the most trouble. he hates that he isn't a natural at it, like everything else. hell, i bet he could kick all of our asses at Curling, but golf.... its a battle. but he'll master it. i have faith. now if only he would quit swinging his driver like a baseball bat.

NUMBER eight: anybody have a good cheesecake recipe? italian style preferred.

NUMBER 9: ONLY 23 MORE SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL ALLIE's BIRTHDAY!

and finally

NUMBER ten: will someone teach the REDS how to play baseball, again? because i think they are broken.

paralyzed by the yum

as some of you know, my darling Husband loves to cook. (see here for more evidence.)

so we decided we were going to have a fancy dinner on sunday... and what started as a night out, ended as a fantastic night in.

he worked on the menu for 2 days. and on saturday night, in MY drunken stupor, we went shopping for the necessities. THAT was a super fun time.... "wait, HOW many limes? oh right, .....wait, did you say limes or lemons???"

and sunday we went and saw HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy if you have read the book(s) then go see it. if you haven't, then go see it and THEN read the books. and they may not make sense to you, but really, they aren't supposed to. H and i summarized them as "books you read wondering if there was some other book BEFORE them all that would make it all make sense" so don't get caught up in the nonsense.... let it WASH over you. but enough, this is about food, not movies.

after that, we finished shopping for the last few ingredients and went home to start cooking.
lets just say that we started MAKING dinner at 7 ish and ate at 11.

and as a nod to Tasty and her friend just sending her seductive menus.... THIS was the menu:

• Cream Cheese stuffed Mushroom Caps
• Broiled Shrimp K-Bobs with a Brown Mustard-Basil-Pineapple Marinade
• Grilled Green Garlic Chicken Breasts
• Mango-Kiwi Salsa
• Coney Island Style Corn on the Cob
• Herbed Wild Rice
• and for dessert, Key Lime Pie (sorry, this was frozen, i helped cook, i didn't have time to bake, too)

and margaritas. STIFF ones.

let's all say it together:

OH MY GOOD GAWDDAMN!!!

and while he was making the mushrooms, i said to him, "you know i married you for your money.... but i STAY married to you for your mushrooms and french toast"

he said, "what, you aren't here because of the Cinnamon Mashed Potatoes or the Cracked Pepper Macaroni?" (both of which were CULINARY DEBACLES!!!!!)

but, yeah...no. it's those mushrooms.

and strangely, after we ate, it was as if someone had put Roofies in our food. we couldn't move. we were paralyzed by the yum. it was a good 10 minutes before we gained our strength and will to live back. which really wasn't so bad, because we really could have died, right then and there.

so, if you are ever lucky enough to make it to AMARILLO, come see us, i bet we could coerce some mushrooms outta him. and then you can die happy too!

dear mother nature....

ok, so today is May SECOND, right?

which means that typically, in the next 45 days, we should be experiencing the Summer Solstice, right?



so then can someone tell me....... ME, who lives in AMARILLO, TEXAS

WHY IN THE FUCK IS IT SNOWING???????




yes, my friends, snow. i cant make this shit up.


i even woke Husband up to let him know that is was snowing. he looked at me like i had 4 heads. he then called BULLSHIT until i opened the blinds.

he just shook his head and asked, "today is May SECOND, right?"
i think so.

the JUDDHOLE

you all know i adore the judd ...

and how happy i am for him, considering that i found my dear sweet Husband online too....(another story for another time)


so, to my darling judd, i wish you happiness until the sun ceases to shine. i wish you love until the stars cease to burn. and i wish you goodness until the world stops spinning.



and the husband has agreed that we can adopt your fishes.

YOU PICK CULLAH *insert asian nail lady accent here*

hello, my name is christel, and i'm a surfer.

no, not in the Hang Ten kind of way, in an internet nerd kind of way.
i could spend 16 hours online a day (i know, because i have)

so this morning, i was fucking off before work and ran across this little gem.

at first i wondered how picking colors could tell ANYTHING about my personality... and then i got the results....

when i got to the second interpretation, i realized, HEY, this thing might have some validity:

Your Stress Sources
Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and to bridge the gap which she feels separates herself from others. Anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to explore all its possibilities, and to live it to the fullest. She therefore resents any restriction or limitation being imposed on her and insists on being free and unhampered.

well shit, you nailed me!

and i kept reading... and they kept nailing.

so, my dear faithful readers, i have decided to pass along the intellectual goodness i found today. i hope you get nailed, too.




(hee hee, i said NAILED)

Christel to English Dictionary

i realized a while back, when i was around some old friends, that i have my own vocabulary. and only a few people understand it. so i decided to make an Christel to English Dictionary. that way EVERYONE knows what im talking about ( oh and so they can all be like me, which is what EVERYONE wants in the first place, right?)


ready? here we go

• sump = something (my baby brother started this one, he was a little deaf when he was born and couldn't hear to emulate the english language)
• unna one = the other one or something different (used in a general sort of way)
• unna one kind = the other one (used in a more specific manner)
• itty bitty baby one kind = small (note the use of 5 words to describe 1)
• christelmas = christmas
• forwent = past tense of 'forgo'
• chilly brew ha ha's = beers (thanks to daniel)
• haggamers = hamburgers
• toilee pinter = toilet paper
• ellelator = elevator
• shlellows = marshmallows
• fancy kind = unusual
• strawgabiggies = strawberries
• neenut putter = peanut butter
• smashed tatatoes = mashed potatoes
• co-hee = coffee
• war-tow = water tower
• charlie foxtrot = cluster fuck
• "SHUT UP!!!!" = "no way", "you're kidding", "that's amazing", " get out!", "WOW!"
• "WHO DIS?!?!?!" = "hello"
• "not knowin" = "i dont know"
• "no gotty" = "i dont have it"
• "what do?" = "what are you doing?"
• "where go?" = "where are you going?"

OH and almost every noun is pluralized,

• i put some sugarS in my co-heeS.
• milkS in my cerealS.
• i want chickenS for the dinnerS.

ok so i guess its really just anything pertaining to food that gets pluralized.

and everyone gets a "The"

• THE mommie
• THE daddy
• THE tistel-girl
• THE charlie dog
• THE boy
• THE me

now, go forth and confuse the shit outta people with your new language! YAY!!!!!

potpourri

hi kids.


i know i have been a slacker blogger. i have been getting ready for my trip to austin. and just doing other junk... like, oh yeah, WORKING.

but im home. from a marvelous weekend. not only did i get to see my BROTHER i hadnt seen in 3 years and get to bond with him, but i got to see my father too. and it was awesome to be in the same room with them. and to laugh and explore all the facets that we all share. i want to do that again, REALLY soon!

i then got to see my VERY BEST FRIEND on the planet. the girl who knows all the lyrics to Licensed to Ill.... and can STILL sing them at the drop of a hat. the girl who can make a noise, or say a word and i know EXACTLY what shes talking about. its VERY Will and Grace. the girl that has more dirt on me and was there for MORE stupid shit than almost anyone.... almost including my family. and its funny how she remembers stuff that i dont and vice versa. im frightened to ever get on her bad side.

oh, and have i mentioned the fact that she has 4 terrific kids? yeah. 4. i know. shes CUH-RAZY. thats why we share a brain. and i got to hang with her and the fam for a few days. and i got permission from her to go see Mama and Papa B. but only for 3 hours. and then i had a curfew. and at the Bs i got to see BEEYOOTEEFUL pictures of japan and have wonderful BBQ and get good mommie type hugs.

also during the weekend, Husband and i got some good things hammered out and it looks like the storm is over. today is the first day of all of our tomorrows. our friends told us we could pull through this and we certainly appear to have been able to do just that. we thank all of you for your support, because you all were able to see that we have so much love for each other and THAT was going to carry us through any trouble we had or will have. we had forgotten that fate brought us together and that we fell stupidly in love with each other for a reason. i mean 5 years is sorta a long time... i still owe him 75 more. we promised each other 80.

so, im going to unpack now.


to ian: FUCK Y'ALL I'M FROM TEXAS!
to the old man: triple jump = ghetto hopscotch
to ang: MICHELLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PICK UP THE PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
to mama B: come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land!

and last but certainly not least, to my Husband: i promise you all of my tomorrows, too.

the rainy season

some of you know that we played this song at our wedding. in fact, it replaced the traditional wedding march. and it was absolutely beautiful. so obviously i have a special place in my heart for Marc Cohn.
and the other day, Tasty posted a song by Mr. Cohn. and that sent me on a search through my music and i came across this one.

and it spoke to me.
maybe it will speak to you.



Don't Talk To Her At Night

Don't talk to her when shooting stars are falling
Don't talk to her when she can smell the jasmine in the air
Don't talk to her when no one knows you're calling
You might just say the words that keep her waiting there

Don't talk to her when she is softly sleeping
Don't wake her to the sound of your voice whispering her name
Don't tell her all the secrets you've been keeping
Don't tell her that you're drowning in a river of shame

When the wolf is howling
Underneath the moon
Underneath the window
Of a hotel room
Burn the blanket
Shoot the light
But don't talk to her at night

Don't talk to her in thunder or in lightning
Don't talk to her with fuses blown and wires falling down
Don't talk to her when the fever is frightening
When she's burning in the bedroom in an evening gown

Or when the wolf is howling
Underneath the moon
Underneath the window
Of a hotel room
Burn the blanket
Shoot the light
But don't talk to her at night
Don't talk to her at night

Or when the wolf is howling
Underneath the moon
Underneath the window
Of a hotel room
Burn the blanket
Shoot the light
But don't talk to her at night
Don't talk to her at night
Don't talk to her at night
Don't talk to her at night



Written by Marc Cohn, from the album The Rainy Season. Copyright 1993 Museum Steps Music, ASCAP.



p.s. honey, you are still and always will be my true companion.

where you hang your hat

i ache.

my whole soul hurts.


i NEED to hug the people i miss.
i NEED to hug the people i love.
i NEED to not feel like i do.


i am "homesick" right now. so, forgive the sappy-ness.

i dont know anybody here. how bad is it when you want to tell the INSURANCE man, "i love you" when you get off the phone with him, JUST because he has known us for 6 years and he is familiar?

yeah, so it took 7 weeks to get "homesick". and yes, i put it in quotes because i have so many homes. first and foremost, the place where i grew up is home. always will be.

but there is the place my family (momma, daddy, brother) lives which is also home. and thats the one i am missing right now.

i am so far away. and i was so excited about all the shit that went with moving out here:
LIVING with my husband
moving back to texas
being closer to the "other home"

that i totally ignored the fact that the other people i love most are 1500 miles away.

and i am so sad.

no one here knows me.
knows my stories.
knows my sense of humor.
hell, on one even knows my husband's name.

and it really is getting to me tonight.

granted the beer and the hormones are probably NOT helping. but fuck it.

sure, i am going to my hometown next weekend, but right now, i wanna go hug the people who love me.


im going to go cry some more now.

moo.

24 instead of 29

oh man.... now HERE is a post.

my hitcounter is supported by blog patrol and it will let me know what some of the keywords are that people have used in a search engine, and ended up on my blog.

dig THIS shit. these are the 24 most recent

1. 3gallonsofcoffee
2. "joey harrington" "bachelor party"
3. Rockstar energy drink billboards
4. things i didnt know
5. toothpastefordinner dream lie
6. "rockstar energy drink" "side effects"
7. who sang having my burger (?)
8. "child leashes" -electronic
9. wondertruck
10. "DPS Man"
11. amarillo hot guys late night commercials
12. amarillo tattoo
13. andy pettitte wife pregnant
14. can i have a do-over
15. coffeegoddess
16. coffeegrounds for plants
17. cvammen
18. Dallas Sportscar rental
19. LUCHENBACH
20. mexican mocha
21. my maserati does 185
22. numb3rs
23. Picture of Jason La Rue:the reds
24. porntriplets

YES!!!!! the PORNTRIPLETS!!!! how much do you LOVE that?????

i'm so fucking famous.

oh, and to the fucker that searched for electronic child leashes... i hope like hell that doesn't mean what i think it does.

that damned allison

there are times when being a number can be really annoying. its the part where we all do the same thing because the other ones do it. and its not peer pressure. and its not because anyone feels we have to belong... its a damn compulsion. we cant help it. it just happens. sometimes i TRY not to do the stuff they do... and in the end i realize that resistance is futile. its gonna happen anyway.

take today for example. i read allie's blog and she has a list. and if you have been paying the tiniest SHRED of attention, you will know that we are WHORES for the list. especially ones about ourselves. because i love ME most. DUR.

even after i read allie's list, i got up to make my coffee.... and started my list in my head. DAMMIT!
see what i mean, we are no longer in control. there is a strange vortex that surrounds the numbers. and eventually, all of us will do "a thing". regardless.

so, defeated against the powers, here is my list

1. since moving to amarillo i have become very habitual.
2. i only used boiled water for my coffee
3. because amarillo water is so bad.
4. and i put the water on to boil the same time as i start my coffee to brew, so that at night i already have cooled, boiled water.
5. i do my dishes everyday.
6. i didn't used to.
7. i try to make my bed everyday, but sometimes there is still a Husband body in it.
8. i start my new job today!
9. its a temporary means to an end, so i'm not going to tell you what it is.
10. sure, i'll let you THINK its street-walking.
11. makes me seems more scandalous.
12. i have been in amarillo for exactly 6 weeks.
13. and i really miss my friends from SC.
14. like really a lot.
15. i wish i could just clap my hands and be in SC hugging my momma.
16. next weekend i will be hugging my brother and father.
17. i haven't seen my brother in 3 years.
18. he is a fast runnin white boy.
19. he is tall and cute too.
20. he gets the cute from me.
21. we don't know where he got the tall from.
22. i also get to hug my Ang this weekend too.
23. and her 4 monkeys.
24. i want monkeys of my own.
25. i wanna be like allie and have 300 nail polishes.
26. and 123 lip glosses.
27. this list is really boring.
28. but i had no choice.
29. and finally, i just bought a fish who i still nameless. i am taking suggestions.

so there it is. my list. its hard to come up with stuff i haven't already listed before. maybe i need to go do more shit.

moo, y'all.

the maytag man

bear with me, i KNOW there's a post in here. right now it's just rattling around like a quarter in a clothes dryer.

and speaking of clothes dryers.... that woman. that damn-ed woman. with the laundry. still going.

our apartment is above a garage. not an auto garage, like a place where you keep your car garage. but it's not a garage apartment.... the first apartment building is 2 story. and then behind it is a 6 car garage. and on top of those garages are apartments. its like the plantation house... and then us dat lives behind it, ya hear?
got it . good.

so, yeah, back to me.
we live over the garage of a woman who is a compulsive launderer.

no. i mean it.

the first weekend i was here, i heard the sounds of laundry in my kitchen. realizing that it came from the lady's garage, i only got jealous that she had a washer and dryer and here i was schlepping MY ass to the laundromat.

this was a sunday.
she was still doing laundry on monday.
and tuesday.
and wednesday.
and thursday.
and friday.
saturday.
and back to sunday.

and not just a load here or there. all fucking day. i heard her washer or dryer all damned day long. i think her dryer has a 70 hour setting instead of 70 minutes.

at first, i was curious about the amount of laundry one family could have. and considering the size of these apartments, i KNOW it's not a big family. PLUS, this woman is over 50, so it's not like she has 5 kids running around.

"she might be babysitting her grandkids" you say?

perhaps. if so, i think i would see them. or hear them shrieking like banshees when she piled them into her car which is RIGHT UNDER MY ASS AS I TYPE THIS.

so yeah. i was curious about what kind of laundry can be done all day..... everyday.

so, we moved here march 1st. today is april 11th and i can hear her laundry. and have heard it EVERY DAY since. no. i am not exaggerating. i know i am prone to embellishment, but believe me. she is about to drive me psychotic.

now, i know there are some tortures where they make you listen to A SOUND over and over and over again. and i think i am strong enough person to withstand that for a while before i have to start eating my own kneecaps... (or patellas for some of you). the part about this is that its the curiosity that is driving me MAD!
it got a little Tell-Tale Heart for a while during the 3rd week. and H would come home, or call me, and i would be in the middle of a conversation and hear a button in the dryer and tell him, "THAT woman is STILL doing laundry" and then we would finish our conversation.

and most days i can drown it out... or it's quiet. but one night, i heard it as i was going to sleep in the WEEEEEEE hours of the morning... and woke up to the gentle sounds of tumbling jeans.

this is crazy.


"why don't you go ask her?"

yeah, ok.

"excuse me, ma'am, but how much FUCKING laundry can one family of 2 POSSIBLY have?"
or the more productive, "since you are doing laundry all goddamned day long, wanna do mine too?"
or the diplomatic, "you do realize that i hear your laundry all day and night long, can we come to some compromise about the hours in which the laundry can take a break?"


yeah. maybe.


even Mom said, "maybe she likes cleans sheets everyday"
fine. great.
take them OUT of the dryer then. oh, AND sheets don't have buttons or snaps or anything else clicky like ALL of her laundry does.


wait.


silence.


can it be?

awwww shit. she was just putting stuff from the washer into the dryer.

ima go unplug that shit.




freaking moo.

christel logic

ok, we all know i LOVE White Castle
and we all know that we are Reds fans.
and you can assume that in our house, we subscribe to Extra Innings
(which means we can watch any baseball game in any area)

so, watching the Reds game this morning, they showed a commercial.
which would be typically shown in Cinci, or the surrounding areas.

it starts off with a group of people sitting on the floor, in white robes, doing yoga and meditation.
they then are whisked away into the clouds (i.e. a higher plane of existence)
and in the clouds with them, is a man in a lazy boy with a White Castle bag.

this is a commercial for their new Chicken Rings.

yes, i said Chicken Rings...

so, can someone tell me how this:

PLUS THIS

EQUALS THIS?????





because according to MY logic, you cant slice a chicken like a pineapple.
but even more importantly....

WHO FUCKING WANTS TO?


because Chicken Rings occur naturally?

kinda like the 4 different shapes of the Mc Nugget?

let's just say i am pretty well freaked out by this.

boys of summer

it's baseball season.
and my BOYS won yesterday.
on OPENING day.
in an amazing show in the 9th inning.

you all watched it, right?
yeah, i thought so.

we were up early (by our standards) and laid in bed snuggling until H got all wormy and couldn't stand it anymore. he was SO excited about today. he was all chattery about baseball and how much he loves it and that it's like Christmas and his birthday all rolled into one. i think he may have even peed on the floor a little. he was THAT excited. and it was so nice. while i still had his attention, we talked about all things Reds and baseball related. and it was the first time we had really talked to each other, in a while, and listened to what each other had to say. partially because we have both been busy and on different schedules and partially because i can only hear about the Final Four so much. or Terry Schiavo so much. or STEROIDS so much.

in our house, baseball is the language of love. and i'm real damn ok with that.

so we laid like spaghetti on the couch, all tangled up in each other, flipping between all the baseball games. we watched part of the Opening Day parade, in Cinci, on the computer.

and then the game came on. and we talked about how much we hated that we weren't there. and that we probably wont make the trip to "mecca" this year. which we both hate, but it's a fact. that is one of my favorite trips of the year. when we lived in SC, we would make the 6 hour drive up there. me talking about white castle and Rock Bottom Brewery, him talking about the players and the people we were going to meet. if you've ever driven to Cincinnati, you know that it's hidden. you are driving and driving and driving and then all of a sudden, you round this curve and there it is. as if it appears by magic. i get a thrill everytime.
we cross the bridge from kentucky to ohio and we point out the stadium to each other... as if neither one has ever seen it before. and i start to get antsy.
cincinnati is a beautiful city. and friendly and its a place where we Reds fans are no longer the minority. its like being a square peg in a round world... and then you move to Squaresville. its a sense that i can't explain.

we start talking about all the things we want to go/see/do while we are there and usually end up doing about 3 of them. my list is small.
i want white castle everyday.
i want rock bottom brewery and the beer sampler.
i want to walk around downtown and see the baseball exhibits that are going on. i think for a few years a guy was making all sorts of awesome art from louisville sluggers. i LOVED that.
i want baseball.

there are lots of places that people tell us that we should go to; and we are slowly crossing those off our lists, but for now, we are here for baseball.

since H is on the Reds messageboard, we end up meeting a lot of new friends from there. and it's cool how the same people who came the first year asked when we were coming back. and its a big deal on his board that we are making our annual trip up there and we end up meeting about 20 - 30 new people. it's really neat.

so, we meet up with "Zoners" the first night, for adult beverages, and then head to the park. we either walk or ride in the back of a friend's truck. it's like being a kid all over again... headed to the ballpark in the back of a truck.
we get to the GAB and its a sea of red. and we can smell the popcorn and hot dogs and burgers and all things baseball. once inside, my Husband loses about 20 years of his life. he is now the world's largest 9 year old. and i get dragged all over the place. i can never keep up with him. so we take pictures and find our seats and go get beers and as we sit down for the first time, its like a jolt of electricity AND your favorite chair all rolled into one. we are home.

i get the chills when the boys come out on the field. i cry during the national anthem. my heart swells. and i am full of pride and love and happiness.

we settle into our world for the next 9 innings and i then turn into a little kid. i take the first inning to look around and see what all is going on. i am so out of it and H is used to it. he tries to tell me stuff and i'm just like "lalalalalalalalala, look at all the pretty colors..." and then he realizes that i will be "back" in the second inning.

there is much laughter and beer and cheering and shit-talking. mostly between H and his fellow Zoners. it's neat to see people come together over something as simple as baseball. its common ground. and i adore it.

we always win the first game we go to. always. it's a rule. and as the night progresses, and the home runs get hit, and as the smoke from the stacks hangs in the air, and i look around and see al these strangers smiling and accepting each other, it makes me happy beyond compare.

as we leave the game, we all agree to meet back up for the next days game. and we get back to our hotel room and we are so worn out and still buzzing with excitement that we try to lay down to go to sleep and KNOW that we are fooling ourselves. then we throw on our shoes and head back out. and go directly to white castle.

i make sure i don't get too full during the game so i have room for white castle. i dont know what it is about white castle. they aren't really great burgers. and i am sure that about 79% of it is tradition. it's what we do. it's not cincinnati unless we got sliders.

we get back to our room and CRASH. but are up early for more baseball. we wander the town, killing time, buying souvenirs, being tourists, and then off to the park again. we get there early so we can go exploring and see all the new things they have done. we find our brick (its hard to tell, but the bricks paving the way into the ballpark all have messages on them. ) and we go watch batting practice.

imagine a slew of kids leaning over the wall trying to talk to any of the players, and then imagine a 6 foot 2 kid leaning over with them. yeah, that one's mine. in the Griffey jersey? yep, sure is.

and i sit back and watch him. and he helps the littler kids get autographs because they are usually the ones that get squished by the bigger kids. and if he catches a ball, he gives it to the ones that look so dejected. and he is so polite. "Mr. Casey, how are you today? Enjoying this fine weather? Gonna beat the Cubs today? Would you mind signing?" and this is so much better than the kids, "hey, sign! hey, sign!"

and this gets him autographs. and he then brings them back to me to put away for safe-keeping. and then he's off somewhere else.

and this is how the weekend is.

usually on sunday, he goes to the game by himself. i drive down to louisville to meet up with some of MY favorite people. about 10 of us girls get together and drink and eat and laugh and eat and drink some more.
this also happens to be where #3 KY and devilboss and smashlee live and even tasty comes down from indy.
it doesn't get MUCH better than that. after trying to kill myself with laughter and fried cheese i head back to cinci.

we stay for the monday game and head back after that. we are so tired from all the fun we had and all the baseball we saw and all the nasty food we ate.

and then we do it again the next year.

but we dont get to do that this year. and i HATE it. we wont even get to see them play at all, this year.

we ARE going to a Rangers game... so at least we get our fix... but its not the same.

so, 1 down. 161 more to go!

GO REDS!

Curse of the Bambino

i hate the Yankees.
there isn't another team in the MLB that i hate. i mean, sure i don't like the Braves, but i hate the Yanks. it started the year they acquired A-Rod. and it got worse last year when they got The Unit. come ON! how is this fair? Randy Johnson should NOT be wearing pinstripes.

how is it that the kid with the most toy wins? sure, they have to pay a luxury tax. but how does that really hurt? oh, right, it DOESN'T!

this team is so stacked against anyone's favor that last years World Series was considered a fluke by some. they think that the Yanks will beat the BoSox tonight, JUST to prove they can. to this i call BULLSHIT.

i have become a baseball fan. i started as a Reds fan and worked my way into baseball fandom. i really like baseball. not only because i understand it, but because Husband and i agree on it. you can have football... basketball... even CURLING. but we agree on baseball. we love it for the same and for different reasons. i love it for the fact that it marks the onset of spring and summer... and hot dogs and cold overpriced beers and being outside. and the fact that i get it. baseball makes sense to me. hell, i even learned to keep score last year. he loves it because it pulses through his veins like life blood. my husband breathes baseball. lives and dies baseball. and i adore that.

this is a baseball family. we want to take a trip during one summer and visit all the major league parks. how cool dees that sound?

but i will not got to Yankee stadium.
they don't play fair, then they don't get my money.

so. i'm off to finish watching the game.
GO BOSOX!!!

and Jonny Damon ain't bad to look at either.


and how much do i love that the Reds play on Opening day.
oh yeah, UH-LOT.

April Fool's

welp, most of you have had jokes played on you and/or are in the middle of executing an elaborate scheme, but today, i want you do one thing.

please please please go here and comment on the first blog post.

some of you know that i believe that there already is a cure for cancer and don't support the funding of cancer research.... but today, i am setting that aside. i want you to do this because of anyone you have ever loved who died from cancer.

this is my ANTI-Joke.
i'm really serious.

please go comment. before midnight tonight.
you guys are the best.

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union...

so today was a good day!

those have been few and far between. those of you playing the home version are WELL aware of this. so, you can put a big "W" on today's scoreboard.

first off, when Husband got up today, we watched a really funny movie. and i don't normally laugh out loud at most movies, but this one had me LAFFIN! it was called Without a Paddle . and i mean, if you don't love Seth Green anyway...

so yeah, movies were good. the quality time was better. and that, my friends, does not suck!

so, after H went off to work, i took a really long hot soapy shower. it had been chilly around here... and the shower was extra hot. and THAT did not suck either.

i then was off to run my errand. my one. it was to get a doo-hickey for H's playstation. it helps him link up to the satellites and makes the players in his games hit a million foot homeruns and shit. it's WAY cool.
so, on my way, i called allie and we giggled as i drove. as i pulled into Best Buy, i stopped allie in the middle of her funny ass words to let her know that it was now, in fact, SNOWING. yes, ladies and germs... SNOWING. it was 60 yesterday. she informed me that "snow is wrong" and i had to agree.

while i was sitting in the parking lot, discussing the wrongness of the snow, a lady got out of her vehicle and as she turned around, i thought she had sat in something. but no, she was a victim of AssWords. you know, these name brand designers emblazoning the name of their clothing line on the ASS of the pants they sell. and since i am NOT a name brand whore, i do NOT understand this phenomenon. or would it be a compulsion?

anyway... i voiced my thoughts to allie and she made the remark that if she were to "wear pants like that, they could write the whole preamble on it" at which point i snorted, and choked at the same time. becauuuuuse.....

1. her ass is SO not big.
2. she used the word "preamble" in a sentence
3. she used it correctly
4. then not only brought it to my attention,
5. but then wanted a check - plus - plus for it
6. i gave her a gold star too

i then informed her that the preamble is not something you do BEFORE you mosey.

after the laughter subsided about that.... she then made some joke about jesus and the passover meal. and how she almost said sader... and that led us into a whole other tangent about the Psychic Prophet was the Prophet Ouija. (get it, like a ouija board, but rhymes with elijah, ahhhhh nevermind.)

we hung up and i went inside to get his alien homing device. i left there, went and got something to eat, and decided to make a few stops on my original quest i started when i moved here. i am addicted to RockStar energy drink. and i have YET to find it here in amarillo. i don't know if its a mean trick they are playing on me.. or what, but i have been unlucky in my quest.

so, i stopped at a gas station on my way home. no luck. i went to the next one down the road and as i walked inside, i made some comment about, "i thought it was supposed to be spring"

the kid behind the counter dryly says "it IS spring, hmmmph"

now, don't get all pissy with me there, Swifty. just because your daffodils haven't bloomed because Mother Nature is dinking around with the weather patterns like a plaything, does NOT mean you can take out your aggressions on me. so, i went to look for my beverage. and STILL no luck. as i turned to leave, he asked me what i was looking for. i told him and he directed me to a place that "might" have them.

a ray of hope?

a shining beacon in my otherwise gloomy path?

i'm OUTTA here. i even left a small puff of dust as i ran out the door.

i get to the place where the nectar of A.D.D. might be... and i realized i was holding my breath.

please? please? give me a break... just this once.

and there they were. just waiting for me. 2 rows. all for me.... don't worry, momma will take you home. i grabbed 5 cans like a drunk would grab 79 cent old milwaukee 32oz cans. i walked up the counter proudly and then started to feel a little like i should look more strung out, for the sake of the video cameras. so i fidgeted a lot.. and looked around a lot. yeah, that oughtta give someone a laugh.

so, the quest is not over. i just need to find somewhere closer to my house to get them. instead of driving 4.3 miles to the Pak and Sak ( i love when convenience stores misspell... its not like they are being "convenient" by not using all the letters, they are encouraging illiteracy)

but i'm home. and i am partyin like a Rock Star.

well, drinking like one, at least.

AMEN, Dave...or Because I'm the CoffeeGoddess

DECAF POOPACINO HAPPENS
DAVE BARRY
Posted on Sun, Mar. 27, 2005

I have exciting news for anybody who would like to pay a lot of money for coffee that has passed all the way through an animal's digestive tract.

And you just know there are plenty of people who would. Specialty coffees are very popular these days, attracting millions of consumers, every single one of whom is standing in line ahead of me whenever I go to the coffee place at the airport to grab a quick cup on my way to catch a plane. These consumers are always ordering mutant beverages with names like ''mocha-almond-honey-vinaigrette lattespressacino,'' beverages that must be made one at a time via a lengthy and complex process involving approximately one coffee bean, three quarts of dairy products and what appears to be a small nuclear reactor.

Meanwhile, back in the line, there is growing impatience among those of us who just want a plain old cup of coffee so that our brains will start working and we can remember what our full names are and why we are catching an airplane. We want to strike the lattespressacino people with our carry-on baggage and scream ''GET OUT OF OUR WAY, YOU TREND GEEKS, AND LET US HAVE OUR COFFEE!'' But of course we couldn't do anything that active until we've had our coffee.

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. I bet this kind of thing does not happen to heroin addicts. I bet that when serious heroin addicts go to purchase their heroin, they do not tolerate waiting in line while some dilettante in front of them orders a hazelnut smack-a-cino with cinnamon sprinkles. The reason some of us need coffee is that it contains caffeine, which makes us alert. Of course it is very important to remember that caffeine is a drug, and, like any drug, it is a lot of fun.

No! Wait! What I meant to say is: Like any drug, caffeine can have serious side effects if we ingest too much. This fact was first noticed in ancient Egypt when a group of workers, who were supposed to be making a birdbath, began drinking Egyptian coffee, which is very strong, and wound up constructing the pyramids.

I myself developed the coffee habit in my early 20s, when, as a ''cub'' reporter for the Daily Local News in West Chester, Pa., I had to stay awake while writing phenomenally boring stories about municipal government. I got my coffee from a vending machine that also sold hot chocolate and chicken-noodle soup; all three liquids squirted out of a single tube, and they tasted pretty much the same. But I came to need that coffee, and even today I can do nothing useful before I've had several cups. (I can't do anything useful afterward, either; that's why I'm a columnist.)

But here's my point: This specialty-coffee craze has gone too far. I say this in light of a letter I got recently from alert reader Bo Bishop. He sent me an invitation he received from a local company to a ''private tasting of the highly prized Luwak coffee,'' which ''at $300 a pound . . . is one of the most expensive drinks in the world.'' The invitation states that this coffee is named for the luwak, a ''member of the weasel family'' that lives on the Island of Java and eats coffee berries; as the berries pass through the luwak, a ''natural fermentation'' takes place, and the berry seeds -- the coffee beans -- come out of the luwak intact. The beans are then gathered, washed, roasted and sold to coffee connoisseurs.

The invitation states: ''We wish to pass along this once in a lifetime opportunity to taste such a rarity.'

'Or, as Bo Bishop put it: ''They're selling processed weasel doodoo for $300 a pound.''

I first thought this was a clever hoax designed to ridicule the coffee craze. Tragically, it is not. There really is a Luwak coffee. I know because I bought some from a specialty-coffee company in Atlanta. I paid $37.50 for two ounces of beans. I was expecting the beans to look exotic, considering where they'd been, but they looked like regular coffee beans. In fact, for a moment I was afraid that they were just regular beans, and that I was being ripped off.

Then I thought: What kind of world is this when you worry that people might be ripping you off by selling you coffee that was NOT pooped out by a weasel?

So anyway, I ground the beans up and brewed the coffee and drank some. You know how sometimes, when you're really skeptical about something, but then you finally try it, you discover that it's really good, way better than you would have thought possible? This is not the case with Luwak coffee. Luwak coffee, in my opinion, tastes like somebody washed a dead cat in it.

But I predict it's going to be popular anyway, because it's expensive. One of these days, the people in front of me at the airport coffee place are going to be ordering decaf poopacino. I'm thinking of switching to heroin.



thank you dave. this makes me proud to be in the Coffee Business.

sent to me by Papa John and reprinted without permission...
because its MY blog and ima gonna do what i wanna.

diamonds are a girls best friend

i got these friends, ya see....

and i don't know what i did to get them. hell, i hardly know what i do to keep them.
but i got em. and the only thing i am more aware of, is how much i appreciate them.

and i got this family, too, ya see...

and i know it was a roll of the dice that picked em for me. and i know i will always have them... and the only thing i am more aware of is how much i appreciate them.

and i am so incredibly awed by all of them. its like i got my own baseball team. and each of them are excellent hitters, but every now and then, one of them will crank one right outta the park. and just like a baseball team, they each have their positions they play.

1. First Base, we have my Mom. she sees most of the action. and if it doesn't get stopped there, its ok. she'll get the next one. i would be NOWHERE without her. she's also the one that goofs with the crowd and pulls some amazing plays out of her pocket.
2. Second Base is played by a couple of people. usually depending on who or what's at bat. it can be played by either Ang or Allie. Ang has had the position for about 15 years. so, Ang and Mom usually work well together. Allie, has been in the position for about a year and a half. and she also works well with first base. sometimes a ball is hit directly to second base. i'm glad i got these girls here for it.
3. Shortstop (yeah i know, 3rd would be next, but this is MY baseball team) playing shortstop is Special K. she gets the grounders. the ones that aren't coming high and fast. hell, sometimes she just catches pop flies. but she is ALWAYS there right next to Second base. i'm not going to imply that she is backup, but sometimes she doesn't see the meat of the action. doesn't mean i don't rely on her, because i do. she's the one that keeps the team light-hearted and having fun. she's the one that is always smiling. you can see that smile from the nosebleeds. damn good to have that.
4. Third Base is a position held by a who-lotta people. third base can be a critical position, depending on the action. they can either make or break the game. you don't hear em saying "rounding second headed for home", do you? nope. third is played by Donna, Tasty, Lola, and Mary. these girls keep the scoring down. they keep the game interesting. they keep the other team at bay. this is the posse of the team. you got shit talked in the other team's dugout, don't think these girls won't head in there.
5. the Outfield. lots of outfielders. mainly, My Father Figures; all 3 of them, Jen, Van-o, Mama B, Karebear, Kately, Lynn, Helaine, and a whole slew of others. these cats scramble for the weird ones that head their way. these are more specialized players. they get to see the ones that come directly at them. and for that this team is grateful.
6. Catcher. i got 2. Z and Ian. these boys are the ones that talk shit to the opposing team, if they have to. they call for crazy pitches when the opponents are jackasses. and if they don't want anyone advancing, they make sure they don't get to. they have to wear all the heavy gear, because sometimes they get to do the dirty work. and sometimes its like playing catch in a park. i'm glad i have them.
7. and finally, the Pitcher. this one's tough. if your pitcher is having a bad day, then there are lots of things that can and will go wrong. but if your pitcher is on, then he can pitch a no-no every day of the week. and everyone talks to the pitcher. everyone relies on the pitcher. they can either pep him up, or cheer him on. and when he knows he has a great team behind him, then he feels comfortable in his job. if he knows that if he can't keep the batter from hitting, then he knows he has lots of possibilities to stop that ball. no matter who gets it, he knows everyone behind him is going to try their hardest. and sure, the other guys knock one out occasionally, that no one saw coming. and it happens. but every team needs a great pitcher. and mine is my Husband.

by no means am i implying that these are the only people i know. it takes way more than "9" people to make a great team. you need managers and pitching coaches, trainers to fix what boo boos the players get. lotsa people have gone into my team. and i think with the team i have, we are better than the Yankees. (not saying they are a good team, just that they have to money to buy the best players)

imitation is the sincerest flattery

i stole this from Tasty because i admire her and because thats what the Numbers do.

I Live: IN TEXAS again
I Work: the main thing i am working on right now, is my marriage
I Think: i need to get back in touch with who Christel is
I Smell: the coffee, but not the roses nearly enough
I Listen: to what i want to hear
I Hide: damned near EVERYTHING
I Walk: quietly. literally and figuratively
I Write: because it's cathartic and therapeutic and sometimes just to make other people laugh
I See: possibilities
I Sing: a LOT more right now. even in my house.
I Can: make you laugh even when i am in a thousand pieces (and i can heal from that)
I Watch: people
I Daydream: about having my own roaster. and like Tasty said, "about being on a book tour with the Numbers".
I Fall: a lot. again, literally and figuratively
I Want: happiness
I Cry: too much
I Read: like books are candy
I Love: yep, just that. i love.
I Rode: out the storm
I Sometimes: want a do-over
I Fear: that the people in my life will be disappointed in me
I Hope: that when leave this earth, that i made a difference.
I Eat: like a 3 year old
I Quit: pitying myself
I Drink: a pot of coffee everyday
I Play: not nearly enough
I Miss: me
I Forgive: my husband for being so angry with me.
I Drive: and i drive and i drive, lets just GO!
I Dream: of having children
I Have: an amazing suppport group
I Remember: july 6th 2002 (and i want that back)
I Don't: give myself nearly enough credit
I Believe: there is room for improvement, but better yet, that i want to improve
I Owe: a debt of gratitude to my mom and dad that really can't be paid
I Know: things happen for a reason
I Hate: ignorance, lack of ambition, prejudice, impoliteness, and those who don't realize that we all have to live on this ant farm together.
I Feel: lucky, blessed, hopeful, trusted, responsible, scared, excited, curious, ashamed, proud, and most of all loved.



BUT, i think i should so this every month. i know my answers will change based on my life at that moment, but this is a good measuring stick.

tuesday, take two

ok, so my first post today was total bullshit. it was a draft from JANUARY. i just didnt have anything to give, this morning. so i did the lazy girls blogging. and felt bad that i had nothing to give.

and then.....

i saw this.

and then i saw this.

and that reminded me that:

1. this is MY blog. i don't have to be funny all the time. i try. it's self-defense. it's ingrained. but NOT gonna happen all the time. if you want funny this time, then skip ahead in your reading. TODAY is not the day for funny.
2. i have awesome friends. Numbers, Fractions, Queens, Special K, Ang, Jenny, and my veryownpersonal FAMILY. and soon, my Husband, again.
3. It's ok to hurt. and i do. a lot right now. a whole lot. but it's ok. and ummm... err... it will be too.

i could go totally journally right now. but let's just have the cliff's notes.

1. i hurt my husband.
2. for a long time.
3. he, in response, "checked out"
4. i got angry.
5. and hurt him some more.
6. and he got angry.
7. for a long time.
8. we have talked it out.
9. we have yelled it out.
10. i have cried it out.
11. we are working on "hugging it out"
12. responsibility and accountability are big words.
13. with BIGGER repercussions.
14. i think we are on the same page.
15. not the same road.
16. but the forks will meet again.

i know it was vague. but though this is MY blog, its still public domain and some things i have a right to leave out. and some things i just need to get out of me.

so, yes, i hurt right now. but we are working on it. together.

the wood song,

by my favorite girls of the indigo variety

The thin horizon of a plan is almost clear

My friends and I have had a tough time

Bruising our brains hard up against change

All the old dogs and the magician

Now I see we’re in the boat in two by twos

Only the heart that we have for a tool we could use

And the very close quarters are hard to get used to

Love weighs the hull down with it’s weight

But the wood is tired and the wood is old

And we’ll make it fine if the weather holds

But if the weather holds we’ll have missed the point

That’s where I need to go

No way construction of this tricky plan

Was built by other than a greater hand

With a love that passes all out understanding

Watching closely over the journey

Yeah but what it takes to cross the great divide

Seems more than all the courage I can muster up inside

Although we get to have some answers when we reach the other side

The prize is always worth the rocky ride

But the wood is tired and the wood is old

And we’ll make it fine if the weather holds

But if the weather holds we’ll have missed the point

That’s where I need to go

Sometimes I ask to sneak a closer look

Skip to the final chapter of the book

And then maybe steer us clear from some of the pain it took

To get us where we are this far yeah

But the question drowns in it’s futility

And even I have got to laugh at me

No one gets to miss the storm of what will be

Just holding on for the ride

The wood is tired and the wood is old

We’ll make it fine if the weather holds

But if the weather holds we’ll have missed the point

That’s where I need to go

baby, i love you.

it's a GIRL!!!!

one of my very good friends gave birth to her second child yesterday.

at 5:30 am, on St. Patrick's Day, the world welcomed it's newest Princess:

Elena Grace

7 lbs, 7 oz. 20 inches long. 10 fingers. 10 toes. tiara on order.

Hang on Sweet Girl, it's a WILD RIDE.

especially with your Auntie Christel holding the reins.

sell-out

yes, its true. the Numbers have sold out.

yes, we are creative.
yes, we are funny.
yes, we are sexy.
yes, we say stuff that should be on T-Shirts and Coffee Mugs.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, go here to see ALL THE COOL SHIT WE HAVE!!!!


now you too can look and act like your favorite Number.
we will be coming out with more items with the cool shit we say.

you might can't BE a Number, but you can Look Like One!


all monies (come on we upped the price a BUCK) will go to:

The Numbers Chocolate, Liquor, and Tattoo Fund.


shop big and shop often!

can i have a do-over?

as i was leaving my house today, to go to the bank, some JACKASS decided that road rules didn't apply to him and since i was considered "oncoming traffic" that i should STOP for him. and by this i mean, some FUCKTARD didn't see me and WHIPPED into a parking lot RIGHT in FRONT of me, causing me to not only slam on my brakes, but fishtail in the middle of the road, and have everything that could fly forward in my truck to launch from safety. and i missed him by an inch. no lie.

as i was stopped in the road, i was trying to figure out if he was going to get out of his car and see if i was ok... but all he did, while i was giving him the "what in THE hell did you think YOU were doing" look, he just shrugs. as if to imply, "sorry....... but you lived. no harm.. no foul."

i drove off with every ounce of adrenaline dumped into my blood stream and shakily drove myself to the bank.

after i left the bank, i headed to CVS and then to get gas.

and that is where i paid nearly 2 dollars a gallon for gas.

now correct me if i am wrong, but i live in Texas, right? don't we make our OWN gas here? what the hell else are those oil rigs doing besides dotting the landscape?
i put in $10 and the gas gauge LAUGHED at me.

as i was leaving the gas station, i reached for one of the hundred things that were now on the floor and gouged myself in the hip with my seatbelt.

so i called allie to complain. i got voicemail. and i did just that, i complained to her voicemail.

i called my old boss, you know, the Original Jackass... and ask if he had sent my LAST paycheck. he informed me that he will send it "tomorrow". meanwhile i have been checking the mailbox everyday looking for some spending money.

i got to the restaurant and got out of my truck... and locked my keys inside. i mean, OF COURSE i did.
i pulled the spare out of my purse, because i am "THAT GIRL", got my real keys and went inside to get my salad i had been wanting since i woke up this morning. i mean, i Googled all salad bars in amarillo and this one has a potato and soup bar too! because i have been on a monster salad bar kick lately. its healthy, right?

i made it home without issue, except for the newspapers flying out of the back of my truck. i can just see myself getting pulled over for littering. it would have happened today.

my salad was great. not the greatest.... but it did its job.

now its 8:21 pm and i got a whole lotta night still left. think i can manage to NOT destroy myself before i go to sleep? let's hope.







BUT, the good points of my day.

1. 2 separate "good ole boys" held the doors for me at the bank. yay Texas!
2. they had Burt's Bees at CVS. yay lips!
3. the hair color i bought was on sale. yay new hair!
4. this is my new hair color! YAY!
5. i have plenty of shiner beers to keep me satisfied for the night. yay beer.
6. and i am going to play my new video game until the wee hours of the morning. yay games!

so. today had its ups and downs.

freaking moo.

my maserati does 185

welp.
its been a week. since i have O-FISH-ALLY been a Texan again. and i will admit, its weird. its weird going to the grocery store and finding the things i had to smuggle back with me to SC, just sitting on the shelves. just as plain as day, waiting for me to buy them. and knowing i don't have to use them sparingly, because they are so precious. (you know i am talking about Hell On The Red salsa, right, Ang?)

but since i DO make my own salsa, with an awesome recipe from Ang, might i add. i bought something completely different. we aren't quite up to the grocery caliber of having salsa makings. right now its all canned food and gatorade.... but i digress.

it's nice to live in Texas again. but i do miss my friends. and my family. i even had a little "i really miss my mommie moment" the other night. (and by that i mean, the BAD CRY!) but i am adjusting.

we haven't been to the Big Texan yet. i am waiting for the Baby Jesus before we go. *side note* my Husband doesn't understand that you have to say it like this: baybeejeezuus. all one word. sheesh.

and THAT brings me to my point. (i really don't think i have one today. )

yesterday, H and i decided that we wanted to sit around and play video games all night. yes, i am a gamer. fuckin duh! so we looked up some reviews on a game that his friends told him about. and we decided to go get it. we went to go eat "lunch". since we are on his schedule, it was 5:30 in the evening. we left there and went to various game stores and then to walmart. the nice one. we came home and had to set up the online account... and then set up our gaming account. and then had dance the polka and do a handspring. TADA!

but BEFORE we load the game, H wants to install the new Norton software first. uhh..ok. so i sat and read my new book from KareBear and was content to listen to him when he told me about the features the software had. it was nice. then, i wanted chips and nacho cheese. you know, the NASTY kind like you get at ball games and movies. so i left and went to the store. i bought the fixings for said snack and came home to find H in the same spot doing the same thing as he was. (good to know he stays on task.) i made the snack and he FINALLY decides to put the game in.


and nothing.
no spinning.
no loading.
no recognizing that there is even a CD in the "cupholder" (another story for another time.)

hmmm.. so he takes it out and tries a different CD we have. it works just fine. he tries several others and we finally decide the disk is defective. we grab our shoes and coats and head BACK to walmart. we split up as soon as we hit the door. i head to get another game, he heads to customer service. see, we are a TEAM.
we take our NEW game and go home.

BUT, i forgot to tell you THIS! our game came with a miniature superhero. and he was broken. and i told H that should have been our first clue. so, we pry open the box to find the SAME hero. CURSES! this one better work. and he was just as non-exciting as the last one.

se we are back home with our new game. and we put it in and
nothing.
no spinning.
no loading.
A-gain.

ok, coats, shoes and we decide to head to ANOTHER walmart.
they don't have the same kind we got. so we leave there and head to the OTHER walmart. (yeah, i have 3. neener) and THEY don't have the game. it is now 10:30. we have driven all over amarillo looking for this game.

we go back to the original walmart and trade out our game for the FINAL game they have.
we get home and yep. you guessed it:
nothing.
no spinning.
no loading.

H then emails customer service. they respond within 5 minutes. they have him configuring the jiggawatts. and the computer is doing bird calls and then it turns into a pong game and then dancing bears and the russian women doing calisthenics....

and nothing.

at this point, i have had enough. i am going to bed. i am D-U-N. done.
i am laying in bed, watching a movie... falling asleep when he comes in announcing that he is a RETARD.
he says, "what did the box for the game say?"
"it said special DVD version"
yep. DVD version. we don't have a DVD drive.

FUCKING DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we are, as Judd likes to say, GOTARDS.

criminy.
so, he leaves to go get the RIGHT game. and i continue to slumber.

he wakes me up at 7:30 this morning telling me that we cant return it after 11, because the munchkins will come to our house and eat our eyeballs...or some shit. so we have to go back TODAY and get the right game.

now, that i have built up all that suspense, i bet you want to know what game it is.
its called City of Heroes.

its an RPG (role-playing game) BUT WITH SUPERHEROES!!!!! does that have MY name written ALL over it or WHAT?

i really CAN be WonderGirl, now. i mean, i already am... but now i can FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

so here i sit in my Wonder Woman jammies. waiting for H to get up so we can go BACK to walmart and get our game. YAY US!

wanna go ride bikes?

moo, y'all.

enough of that, let's get back to me.

yeah yeah, i love the list, but it doesn't make for great commenting on how clever, witty, charming, or funny i am.


so, here is a real post. one that will be worthy of said comments.

• Special K: the only words that keep ringing in my ears are, "oh my goodness" which you kept saying over and over as we stood in the vacant Target parking lot, SOBBING on each other. i hate that i am now Very Far Away. and i never got to see your amusement park house. i love you so much.
• Donna: now, you know that everything is bigger in Texas. i bet that includes HATS! i cant wait until you come here and we can play with the ReallyBig Hats. please eat a half pound of chocolate each day and think of how much i miss you and love you.
• Karen: you better call me the INSTANT that child is born. i have a baby blanket to make and grey is no good color for babies. great for neutral, but not so much for babies. (p.s. i STILL am going to call her Gabby Grace. even if she's a boy) and i love and miss you, too.
• Kately: my heart nearly broke into a hunnert peices seeing you on saturday. who is going to be there for you when the world gets too big for you? just remember you can always call me, my little Katelyn Katelyn, Schweetie Schweetie.
• Zo: beeeeeeeeee boooooooop. (sadly)
• Stef: you better keep those boys in line. and remember, you can always call me for a movie line. love and coffeebeans.
• Jase: i know they aren't making your drink right. i just know it.
• Kevvy Kev: you know everything works out in the end, right? all great movies do.
• ALL of my little Gay Boyfriends: NOW who is going to dress me? dammit!
• Numb3rs: just because i am far does not mean i am FAR away. it just means we now have to make MORE time to see each other since it will be so precious. and i dont think the word "love" is strong enough.
• Momma: i will see you in 2 weeks. and i love you more than air. more than chocolate-covered air. life is a banquet.
• TEXANS: I AM HOME!!!! come play with me!

moo y'all.

because being a numb3r means being a sheep

this has been stolen fair and square from about 5 different blogs. my favorite ones it was stolen from are #3 GA, #5 IN,and devilboss,

(X) snuck out of the house
(X) gotten lost in your city (i am sure i will soon, i dont know my way around here yet.)
(X) seen a shooting star
(X ) been to any other countries besides the united states
( ) had a serious surgery
(X) gone out in public in your pajamas
(X) kissed a stranger
(X) hugged a stranger/kissed one too!
(X ) been in a fist fight
( ) been arrested
(X) done drugs
(X) drank alcohol
(X) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
(X) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
(X) made out in an elevator
( ) slept in an elevator
(X) swore at your parents
(X) kicked a guy where it hurts (on accident)
(X) been in love (and still am)
(X) been close to love
(X) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving (not yet!)
(X) broken a bone
(X) been high
( ) skinny-dipped
(X) skipped school (not until my senior year of HS and my mom was home. i had to spend all day there)
(X) flashed someone - real recently
(X) seen a therapist
(X) done the splits (not on purpose)
(X) played spin the bottle
(X) gotten stitches
(X) had an IV ( i think when i was born)
( ) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour (EWWW! who drinks milk?)
(X) bitten someone (just in bed!)
( ) been to Niagara Falls
(X) gotten the chicken pox
(X) kissed a member of the opposite sex
(X) kissed a member of the same sex (have you MET the numb3rs?)
( ) crashed into a friend's car (not so much crashed, per se)!
( ) been to Japan (and never hope to)
(X) ridden in a taxi
(X) been dumped
(X ) shoplifted (oh yeah, i have lots of karmic debt for that)
(X) been fired
(X) had a crush on someone of the same sex (again, have you met the numb3rs?)
(X) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back (hmmmm, ang, you want to help me answer this one?)
(X) stole something from your job
(X) gone on a blind date
(X) lied to a friend (only if its to keep them safe)
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans (eww, germs)
(X) been to Europe
(X) slept with a co-worker
(X) been married
( ) gotten divorced (not gonna)
( ) had children (its on the list of things to do)
( ) saw someone die
( ) been to Africa
(X) Driven over 400 miles in one day (ummm, YEAH! dur.)
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Thrown up in a bar
( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(X) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been snowboarding
(X) Met someone in person from the internet. (hmmm, husband, CHECK, numb3rs, CHECK, queens, CHECK)
( ) Been moshing at a rock show
(X) Cut yourself on purpose
( ) Been to a moto cross show
( ) lost a child (i lost my paddington bear once)
(X) gone to college
( ) graduated from college
( ) done hard drugs
(X) tried killing yourself (and by tried i mean had intent, just no guts)
(X) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now (more than any of you will EVER know)

yep, LOVE the list.

MOO

Husband and i figured that if regular cows said "MOO" then texas cows must say, "MOO Y'ALL"


just one of the things that gave us endless amounts of laughter on the 21 hour trip to Home.

so, obviously we made it.
and without any problems.

we spent the night at mom and dad's saturday night. we got up at 4:30 on sunday, and they got up to see us off. and mom even made me ORANGE cinnamon rolls. how much does she love ME? went home and finished packing up the truck. FINALLY left around 7 and headed west.

we drugged our cats and that was an adveture in and of itself. and every time thereafter, it got harder and harder. i still have small holes in me from their razor sharp claws. i hope it doesnt rain anytime soon, i would leak.

we drove through memphis and on to arkansas. we got almost to oklahoma when i couldnt take it anymore. the cats were being unruly, and i was about to jump out of the truck. 14 hours was enough.
we stopped in clarksville and slept on the BEST bed ever. it was called a "pillow top" and was exactly that! we didnt want to get up the next morning.

but we did. and we hit the road about 10. and yes, once we crossed the Texas state line, i cried. i am a baby. i admit it freely and willingly. shut up.

we got to our apartment, which really wasnt as bad as H made it seem. it just needs a woman's touch, that's all.
we dropped of the kittygirls and went running errands. we finally crashed around 11 and slept like babies.
his buddies got there around 2 to help us unpack and that went just fine, unil they came to drop off all the stuff i had on their list. they basically just dropped it on a flat spot and went and got more.

at least i was able to direct some of them. all the kitchen boxes are in the kitchen, but we had 2 coffee tables in the living room blocking us from gettting to the hall closet.... blah blah blah.

BUT we have a living room that is sorta set up. we have a bedroom in the making. and the kitchen still has 10 boxes in it. goot lawd. that is going to be one hell of a project.
but its MY project.
in MY new home.
in MY home state.
with MY husband.
and i love it!


so, i miss all of you. and i want to thank all of you who came to the Going Away Gathering. for those of you who said you were coming and did not, you better start the Sucking Up now. ;)
it will be noted come Christmas Card Time.

moo y'all.