3 gallons of coffee and nowhere to go.

Ask Jeeves

2008-01-30T06:44:00.000-08:00

so... i've had a metric fuckton of hits lately from someone who's found me from doing and "Ask Jeeves" search.

you've spent the past 10 days reading my blog.
i really hope you're enjoying it. leave a comment would ya?

the visitors

2007-06-29T09:02:00.000-07:00

just wanted to wave to those of you who still come here religiously waiting for an update...

*HI!*

New!

2007-03-30T14:29:00.000-07:00

E me for The New Christel... Now with more Sarcasm and Cynicism.

HOLY SHIT, i have a blog?

2006-10-03T06:35:00.000-07:00

yeah yeah yeah... i have been the Ultimate Slacker in writing. i suck. i apologize.

BUUUUUUT.. to my defense. i got lots of stuff going on. personally, workly, emotionally, hairly.

yeah. i said "workly" AND i said "hairly". what CHOO gonna do about it?

work is super. no for real. i really dig the people i work with. and i LOVE this time of year. its the beginning of the Holiday Season Drop. and by Drop i mean like a roller coaster... it all leads up to this part of the year. and then WHAM! it's january. and i find myself stunned and amazed at how quickly it all passed by. i try so hard to cling to the leaves changing colors, the crisp fall air, the outdoor festivals, allie saying "pumpkin butter" (which, at this time of year, she will do at least ONCE a phone call), gearing up for thanksgiving and a trip to south carolina, and then....CHRISTELMAS!!!! and then in 3 short months i will find myself weighing 10 pounds more. and trying to figure out where all the magic went. to quote allie yet again, "i love the 'Ber months". i wont lie.

so yeah. work is good.
and the hair. it's good too. don't tell my mom,

but i have bangs.

SHHHHHHHHH... don't squeal so loud, she'll hear you.

i decided that yesterday was the day. i was gonna do it and NOTHING was going to get in my way. i looked for pictures of what kind of bangs i wanted. i settled on Callie* bangs.
printed the picture. asked the boys at work their opinions, (useless by the way, they got all hot about the girl and not the hair.) got the call from my boss that said, "DO IT!" (she'd previously been opposed to the idea, but had a vision of me with the hair and changed her mind), grabbed angela and some hair magazines and off we went.

needless to say that i did NOT get Callie hair, but am thrilled with my Meredith* hair. and, of course, angela's hair is WAY ASS CUTE TOO!

*from Grey's Anatomy

it was time for a change. i got lots of changes happening. why not let some of them have an outward reflection?

and i came to a realization, sitting in traffic the other day. i have been struggling so hard to get BACK to the Christel i was. and it was like trying to fit into the clothes of a child. and the harder i tried, the less it worked. i don't need to get BACK to Christel, i can make my own new one. it was senseless to try to be something i was, when i am liking who i am becoming. i feel it. i feel her growing into something amazing. and everyday she peeks out a little bit more. i think she will be just as great...no, greater than the Christel i was.

so, hand in hand, the Christel that fits into those little clothes and the Christel who is still changing and growing will walk into the Great Unknown. i dont have to keep looking back at her and miss who she was. i can take her with me for the rest of the journey. she knows the secrets. she knows the song. she knows the dance. and she can still teach me a thing or two.

let's go, little one. we got a big bad world to take over.

La Hot!

2006-09-07T21:32:00.000-07:00

i hate to admit this.

and i hate to admit this here....

but i have to. i have to let SOMEONE know. and instead of keeping it inside anymore. i am going let it out.

for all of you to read.

i am slowly developing a crush on Nick Lachey.

sleep to dream

2006-08-24T07:55:00.000-07:00

ever have those dreams where, after you wake up you feel like it was just your body purging itself of everything that happened for weeks?

where everything is jumbled together and upon further reflection you can pick pieces out that are obviously experiences, and other parts that are just filler to get all the thoughts out.

i had a night like that last night (errr... more accurately this morning)

i dreamt about (in no particular order or logic):

the italian soccer team
quail eggs
scuba diving
someone stealing my pen
me accidentally stealing it back
a co-worker owning his own family-based restaurant
the very vivid logo for said restaurant
being naked at the dinner table
Preston Burke from Grey's Anatomy giving me a wad of money before he took me out to dinner.
also being at dinner with very hot mexican men
finding out later that they were all related (dammit)
bringing a piece of furniture to Angela's house that came from the flooded apartment that cause mold to grow up her walls
cleaning off the mold with day-old raisin bread and mild detergent
feeling guilty about infesting Angela's house with mold
wandering through a strange house to find the bathroom
pretending to buy jewelry to avoid confrontation
meeting and yelling at an ex co-worker's cousin

yeah. whacky.

must have been the shrimp nachos.

single-use

2006-08-07T06:57:00.000-07:00

i'm noticing a trend in food service. a trend that repulses me. not only because of my germ thing, but because of it's gross violation to Health Codes. i'm sorry if this awareness causes you to be more cognizant of your eating experience, but welcome to MY world.

in food service, when handling foods, employees are usually required to wear gloves. now these gloves are not to protect the employee. these gloves are to protect the person consuming the food. even the Department of Health refers to these gloves as "single-use". (yes, i have researched it, shut up)

it says, "except when washing fruits and vegetables, food employees shall avoid contact of exposed ready-to-eat food with their bare hands by use of suitable utensils such as deli tissue, spatulas, tongs, or SINGLE-USE gloves"

this does not mean wear the SAME gloves all day long.

case in point, i went to wal-mart the other day during my lunch break... i stopped by the deli to grab a lil something to snack on before i went back to work. the lady behind the counter did not put on new gloves. she adjusted her hair net, and proceeded to manually grab my food from the heating pans. when i asked her to use tongs, she just started gingerly picking up my food and putting it in the bag. i asked her to stop and put on new gloves at least. she changed A glove and then continued to fill the bag with the already "contaminated" food. when she realized that one of the items i had ordered wasn't so fresh, she offered to cook some more. at this point, she went back in the back, touching the door handle, opened the freezer, touching that door handle, put the chicken in the fryer, touching those buttons, went and opened a deli case to get out some ham, touching that handle, sliced the ham, wrapped it back up, and then using the same gloved hands, manually grabbed my chicken and put it in a bag.

at this point, me, being me was experiencing 2 emotions. rage and nausea.

i then went to complain about the whole thing to a manager. you never know who is in charge of what there... for all i knew i just tattled to the garden center diva.

and begrudgingly ate my germ infested lunch. i didn't have time to wait to get someone else get me food and didn't want to cause a scene.

cut to today. i took Roo to the vet to get his "walnut-ectomy" and on my way home, i stopped for breakfast tacos. i paid the lady and then i saw her, with one gloved hand using the utensil and her ungloved hand prying my tortillas apart and watched in horror as this woman who had touched money and been touching money all morning, make my breakfast. i wanted to hurl in the drive-thru. those of you who know me know how i feel about handling cash money. and the fact that i actually HAD cash money was shocking. but to feel the germs crawling on my hands after i handed it to her and then to have those same germs come back to me in my food was all that i could stand.

i was so angry and crazy at the time that instead of going back, i drove off. about half-way home i fished out the receipt and called the store. i told the guy what happened and that now i was going to have to throw my food away. i cant wrap my head around eating money food. and that its somehow different that the glove girl at wal-mart IS different to me. the crazy doesn't have rules... it just is.

i will call the Department of Health and "report" both occurrences. and trust me, if i could NOT be this way about food, i would give it away in a heartbeat. but the fact is, i can't. it is out of my control. it's a disorder. if i were able to control it, it would be called something different. like a phase, or that weird germ thing christel has.

so, i ask you, please, if you are IN food service and reading this, BE AWARE of what you touch. the gloves are there to protect me and everyone else from germs. not to protect you from the food.

multiply

2006-08-01T14:37:00.000-07:00

this commercial makes me want one SO bad.
and the fact that it's a RABBIT! doesn't help either.

but it's a Rabbit... cant you see ME driving a rabbit? crack me directly the F up!

but seriously, can this commercial BE any cuter?

OBVIOUSLY doesn't work off commission

2006-07-25T07:09:00.000-07:00

so we took angela's 4 kids to see Monster House on sunday.

i walked up to the window and asked for "seven tickets to Monster House, please?"

the lackey behind the glass says, "you know that's single seating ONLY, right?"

i ask, "can i not have seven tickets, then?"

he says, "you can have them, but you just so you know, you all wont be sitting together." (insert snide bratty 17-year-old face here)

i say, "that's fine. because i didn't ask for seating assignments, i ASKED for seven.... tickets... to.... Monster....House."

since when is it ok for people in customer service to automatically have attitude like that? and especially from someone who is almost half my age? what ever happened to "respect your elders"?

needless to say, we found 7 seats together. they were on the front row. and i had never sat on the front row before... it was kinda fun! not that i would like to do it again.... but the suck factor was definitely lower than expected.

i recommend it. and take 4 kids with you. no, for real.

amos

2006-07-05T18:25:00.000-07:00

this is one of those songs i can't listen to enough.

it has a great message. it is beautifully arranged. and amos's voice is like chocolate.

i give you:

Keep it loose, Keep it tight

Well I walked over the bridge
Into the city where I live and
I saw my old landlord
Well we both said hello
There was no where else to go
Cause his rent I couldn’t afford

Well relationships change
Though I think it’s kind of strange how money makes a man grow
Ah, some people they claim if you get enough fame
You live over the rainbow
Over the rainbow

But the people on the street,
Out on buses or on feet
We all got the same blood flow
Oh in society every dollar got a deed
We all need a place that we can go and feel over the rainbow

Some times we forget what we got
And who we are and who we are not
I think we got a chance to make it right
Keep it loose
Keep it tight
Keep it tight

I’m in love with a girl who’s in love with the world
Though I can’t help but follow
Though I know someday she is bound to go away and stay over the rainbow
Got to learn how to let her go
Over the rainbow
But sometimes we forget who we got
Who they are and who they are not

There is so much more in love than black and white
Keep it loose child
You gotta keep tight
Keep it loose child
Keep it tight
Keep it tight
Keep it tight

Words & Music: Amos Lee©2004 Burning Harp Music

Rooney Spooner

2006-06-29T09:42:00.000-07:00

lemme gush about The Roo for just a bit, yeah?

this boy is ADORDABLE. (yes, extra D for emphasis). sure, he antagonizes his sisters. sure he "makes biscuits" on my bare skin while i am sleeping. sure, he runs laps at ALL hours of the day. sure, he appears like he is being all sweet and cuddly, but really wants to claw at my hair.

but this is the part that SLAYS me.

ROO. LIKES. TO. SPOON.

no, i'm not lying.

when i am lying on my right side, he jumps up onto the bed, rubs his whole body against my chin and then lays down as close to me as possible. and lets me hold him close. and he just purrs and purrs and purrs.... for about 10 minutes. and then..... he's done.

until 5 minutes later and we repeat the process.

this morning i was sandwiched between the Roo and the Eddie. it was kinda sweet. the funny thing is Eddie has to lay his arm on my hip, because if it gets into Roo territory, Roo lets him know.

my funny family.

cryptic

2006-06-25T12:36:00.000-07:00

hi guys. i gots lots of stuff going on in my little corner of the world. some of you know. others of you are now wondering.

just know its all for the betterment of the planet.

and that's ALL i'm saying.

aging gracefully?

2006-06-20T16:15:00.000-07:00

if she weren't such a dirty dirty whore... this is what Tara Reid would look like in 40 years.

PRESENT:

FUTURE:

(we LOVE Paula Deen, though. and SO not a dirty dirty whore... unless you count FOOD PORN)

creepy, huh?

i heart jack black too!

2006-06-14T08:03:00.000-07:00

who else is real excited about the idiocy that is....

h-a-w-t

2006-06-06T13:45:00.000-07:00

ok. you all know that i would rather be hot, than cold. and even spending 2 weeks in phoenix, last summer... it took it being 117 degrees before i called UNCLE.

but around here...it's gettin kinda warm. (or wurm as my mimi and i call it)

ima need someone to install a balcony and galvanized steel bucket filled with ice and beers at myveryownpersonal house.

i have the weekend off, so any time after noon would be super, thanks.

inkblots

2006-06-02T14:32:00.001-07:00

Nine-Pointed It is the Triple Triad - Completion; fulfillment; attainment; beginning and the end; the whole number; a celestial and angelic number - the Earthly Paradise.

Nine is symbolized by the two triangles which are a symbol of male, fire, mountain and female, water, cave principles.

more here

The lotus flower or 'Lien Hua' in Chinese, is regarded as a spiritual flower, with elegant beauty, a mystery that inspires a person taking root in muddy, murky water, the darkest of places, where he or she rises above to bloom beautiful, powerful on the surface.
The lotus inspires the person, that whenever faced with trouble, no matter how dark the waters may get, he or she will rise above and let the beautiful flower in them bloom as long as they have a pure and sincere heart.

more here

and WHY am i telling you all of this?

this is how i spent part of my day...

(inside left ankle... and could this angle make my calf look BIGGER?)

HMMM...

2006-06-02T06:24:00.000-07:00

American Cities That Best Fit You::

65% Honolulu

60% San Diego

55% Atlanta

55% Los Angeles

55% Portland

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

customer appreciation

2006-05-27T16:06:00.000-07:00

the best thing heard at work, from a customer, today:

"she couldn't pour piss out of a boot, if there were instructions on the heel"

SOUL PATROL!!!

2006-05-25T13:40:00.000-07:00

GUESS WHO ELSE,

BESIDES DAVID HASSELHOFF,

WAS SOBBING TEARS OF JOY

LAST NIGHT????

YEAH, IT WAS

THIS GIRL!

more disturbing than...

2006-05-21T09:56:00.001-07:00

i was going to say japanese p0rn, but i don't need all of THOSE hits/visitors to my site!

but THIS: LifeGem

FREAKS ME THE FUCK OUT!!!!

click on the link first.
if you can't access it, i will explain it.

"The LifeGem® is a certified, high-quality diamond created from thecarbon of your loved one...
as a memorial to their unique life.
as a symbol of your personal and precious bond.
Whether you've lost a loved one or simply want to celebrate your love, the LifeGem diamond provides a way to embrace your loved one’s memory day by day. The LifeGem® is the most unique and timeless tribute available for creating a testimony to their unique life. Your LifeGem memorial will offer comfort and support when and where you need it, and provide a lasting memory that endures just as a diamond does. Forever."

no for real.

can you imagine?

"hey nancy, nice earrings. are they new?"

"why yes, they are my mom."

"they were your mom's?"

"no, they ARE my mom."

yeah. nuh-uh. and just imagine if you LOST the jewelry.

like leaving it by the bathroom sink in a hotel.

or when presenting the ring, in a dessert, it gets eaten...

or falls off in the ocean.

or gets stolen.

i think we need to create a whole new Level of Wrongness for this one.

"Like the memory of a loved one, a diamond lasts forever."

please forgive me for my geekitude

2006-05-14T12:46:00.000-07:00

but i am SO going to E3 next year.

it's like Gamer's Mecca.

GeekCon.

Pasty DungeonMasters Expo.

it's like a Trekkie Convention, but without the Trekkies and with the COOL stuff like VIDEO GAMES!!!!! and computer dorks. and Draenii

it's a Nintendo, Playstation, X-Box, GameCube, Wii, PC ORGY!

oh yeah. i'm goin.

rising from the ashes

2006-05-11T14:19:00.001-07:00

let's just say i have some crap going on.

ok, by "crap" i mean "SHIT"

big. stinky. shit.

but let's also say that i know who i am
and how strong i am...

and i can come through this like a phoenix.

idolize

2006-05-09T18:53:00.000-07:00

in case i haven't said it lately,

taylor hicks

quote for the day

2006-05-06T14:23:00.000-07:00

"there was a drink parade. and I was Grand Marshal!"

-from In Her Shoes by Jennifer Weiner

quote for the day

2006-05-03T12:44:00.000-07:00

"I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead." - Winnie the Pooh

welcome to The Suck

2006-05-02T08:55:00.000-07:00

laying in bed last night... as i was headed off to Sleepy Land, i realized that my posts recently have been lackluster.

i owe you guys an apology. i suck.

but i realized part of it is that i don't want to use this medium to bitch about the stuff going on. i know, "it's MY blog, i can do what i want". but really, enough of you hear me bitch on a regular basis. do you really want to READ about it too?

so here is the laundry list of what's been going on.

work is fine. (that's always nice, huh?)
my mom is going in for some bionic eye surgery in about a week. (i am being nervous, she is being excited... it works better that way)
eddie's dad has HAD surgery lately. he had kidney stones smashed to bits and some cancerous skin removed from his left shoulder. but he is repairing quite nicely, i hear. and he's kinda living with his girlfriend and her 3 kids. (don't get me started)
my father got married on the 22nd. and it wasn't until the minister announced them "husband and wife" that i realized that not only was Ian getting step-siblings, but I AM TOO! (duh) and later on, during the reception, i realized that i got a step-mother in the deal too. (at least i'm cute... not so smart sometimes... i blame the wine.) we like her/them and i wish them a lifetime of bliss.
my grandmother is in a nursing home now. (she has see-sawed between death and life for about a month now. we all think she has a truckload of unresolved shit to work out before she will finally let go. i just hope she can get it all worked out to go peacefully. i know she's tired.)
did i mention that eddie FLEW US TO DALLAS? well, he has a friend who owns his own plane and he let eddie fly us from amarillo to wichita falls. (no, he didn't take off or land, but STILL)
eddie and i are still on the fence about moving to albuquerque. (it could come down to the way the wind blows on a tuesday to get that figured out.)
i've been on a Candida Detox diet for about 7 weeks. and so far, i've lost (and managed to keep off) 10 pounds. i cheated a little last week and had wendy's. MMMMMM... biggie fries. basically i can't have sugar, yeast, or anything fermented. (there's really a HUGE list of shit I! CAN'T! HAVE!) but i think i miss beer the most. and it's kinda a lifestyle change more than a diet... *sigh*
our new kitten is the Cutest KittyBoy EVER. (no, i swear)
i have spent a lot of time with my aunt and my cousins and have really enjoyed it. it's like we actually are a family again.. instead of "WOW, you got big"

and that's about it.

a very serious question

2006-04-28T21:06:00.000-07:00

which scene is better:

the Carpenter's scene from TOMMY BOY

OR

the Wilson Phillips scene from HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE?

Friends With Money

2006-04-27T08:51:00.000-07:00

The Main Gay and i went to go see Friends With Money, the other night. he had seen it the night before and said it was so good he would see it with me.

and let me JUST tell you...

it was AMAZING and FABULOUS and BEAUTIFUL and MARVELOUS. i can i dentify with each of the characters and realized that, in my life, i had made a LOT of the words the women made. no, literally. ver batim.

you need to go see it, RIGHT NOW!

i will wait here while you go.

the WORLD'S longest survey thingie

2006-04-20T19:33:00.000-07:00

1. Name: christel
2. Single or Taken: taken
3. Sex: female
4. Siblings: 1 older sister, 2 younger brothers.
5. Eye color: ba-loo
6. Shoe size: 11 (go ahead, make the skis jokes....)
7. Height: 5' 8.5"
8. Innie or Outie: innie
9. What are you wearing right now? pj's
10.Where do you live? amarillo, tx
Where did 11 go?? to hell
12. Can you make a dollar in change right now: prolly some way, in this house
13. Do you have a BF or GF: you mean besides Taylor Hicks, Vin Diesel, Chris Isaak, Ben Affleck, Jason LaRue, Kevin Spacey, John Cusack, Andy Pettitte, Matthew McConaughey, Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp... shall i go on?
14. Did you send this to your crush? only if my crush reads this...
15. Best place to go for a date? :somewhere 'mantical
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Favorites
1. Kind of pants: pj's
2. Number: 3
3. Boys Name: sean, aidan, tiernan,
4. Girls Name: celia, grace, liadan
5. Animal: bunny rabbit
6. Drinks: coffee, beer, rum, scotch, red wines
7. Month: october
8. Juice: pineapple
9. Breakfast: bean and bacon omelet with extra green sauce
10. Cartoon character(s): spongebob squarepants
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have You Ever..
1. Given anyone a bath?: sure
2. Smoked? i even quit!
3. Bungee Jumped? yeah.... nuh-uh
4. Made yourself throw-up?: i suck at that skill
5. Gone skinny dipping: not yet
6. Put your tongue on a frozen pole: No...Duh. I've seen A Christmas Story (ditto, ang)
7. Loved someone so much it made you cry?: still
8. Broken a bone: my toe when i was drrrrrrrunk
9. Played truth or dare: do strip dice count?
10. Been in a police car: yep. stupid mike and his stupit POT
11. Been on a plane: DUR
12. Came close to dying: only of embarrassment (again, ditto)
13. Been in a sauna: ewww...
14. Been in a hot tub: yes
15. Swam in the ocean: lots of em...
17. Ran away?: sure did, with an empty suitcase. i think i was 9.
18. Broken someone's heart: didn't mean to, if i did.
19. Cried when someone died: what sort of heartless bastard doesn't?
20. Cried in school: are you new?
21. Fell off your chair: in 2nd grade. and HURT myself BADLY!
22. Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Night? Thats for losers....I'm hardcore. I'd wait all DAY AND night...(this answer is too good to erase!)
23. Saved any IM convos: nope
24. Saved emails: uh-huh
25. Made out with/kissed just a friend?: i'm an equal opportunity kisser
26. Used someone: define "used"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is...
1. Your good luck charm?: my celtic trinity
2. One Best song you ever heard: into the mystic
3. What's your room like: fuctional... a bed, 2 dressers, a kickass coffeetable, a tv and usually all 3 kids on the bed
4. What is beside you?: my husband, on the couch
5. The last thing you ate?: tacos
6. What kind of shampoo do you use? paul mitchell super skinny (i think i should be drinking it too?)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ever Had...
1. Chicken pox: and the scars to prove it
2. Sore Throat: who didn't?
3. Stitches: yes.... thanks, emily.
4. Broken nose: it's too little to BE broken
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do You...
1. Believe in love at first sight: it's possible
2. Like picnics: it's the ants i don't like
3. Liked school: i guess
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Questions:
1. What schools have you gone to: k-12 and massage therapy school and 3 years at a technical college
2.Who was the last person you called: mac
3. Who was the last person you slow danced with: eddie
4. Who did you last dirty dance with: i think it was eddie
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Who?::
1. Did you last yell at: rooney, he pooped on the floor
2. Broke your heart: which time?
3. Told you they loved you: eddie
4. loudest friend? that would be the Allie Pants
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you?
1. Do you like filling these out: yeah, but this one... holy monkey, are we done yet?
2. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses: bof'um
3. Do you like yourself: have you MET me? i'm FABULOUS!
4. Do you get along with your family: a'course
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Questions:
1. What are you listening to right now?: me typing and the Reds game
2. What did you do yesterday?: work, manicure, asleep on the couch by 11:30
3. Gotten any awards: i'm what they call an "over-acheiver"
4. What car do you wish to have?: a silver porsche cabriolet
5. Where do you want to get married?: hope i don't have to do that again...
6. Good driver?: oh yeah
7. Good singer?: i'm not quite American idol caliber anymore, but i can kick some ass at karaoke!
9. How many remote controls are in your house: 3
10. What do you dream about?: happiness, beaches, my own coffee roasting business
11. When you last showered: this morning
12. Scary or Funny Movies: funny
13. Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
14. Root beer or Dr. Pepper: root beer
15. Skiing or SnowBoarding: neither
16. Summer or winter?: fall
17. Silver or Gold?: silver
18. Sprite or 7up: whats it mixed with? (and AGAIN with the ditto)
19. Coffee or tea: what's tea?
20. Phone or in person: in person
21. Are you oldest, middle, youngest: old middle
22. Indoor or outdoor: if by "outdoor" you mean tropical island...
23. Diamond or pearl: diamond
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today did you:
1. Talk to someone you like: i kinda like him...
2. bought something? i bought lunch...
3. Get sick: heartsick
4. Sang: always
5. Talked to an ex: no
6. Miss someone: oh yeah
7. Work out: not today
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last person who....
1. Was in your bed: me and hubby and 3 cats
2. Saw you cry: mac
3. Made you cry: my life
4. Went to the movies with: mac
5.Went to the mall: mac
6. Said "I Love You" and meant it: eddie
7. You Hugged: eddie
8. Kissed you: eddie
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Have you..
1. Ever been in a fight with your pet: yes, have you ever tried to give a cat a bath, or medicine?
2. Been to California: not yet
3. Been to Mexico: not yet
4. Been to Canada: don't wanna
5. Been to Europe: sure have
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random.....
1. Do you have a crush on someone: DUR, but don't ask me to narrow it down to just one.
2. What book are you reading now? the last harry potter, blue coyote, salmon of doubt, in her shoes, mermaid chair, mars and venus, dress your family in denim and courderouy (i have em stashed everywhere)
3. Best feeling in the world: being in love
4. Future KIDS names: depends on the FUTURE...
6. Whats under your bed: a suitcase and cat fur
7. Favorite sports to watch: baseball
8. Piercing/Tattoos: ears and nose pierced, 3 tattoos
10. Who do you really hate?: my first step-father
11. Have you ever liked someone you didn't have a chance with: are you familiar with a little something called "high school"?
12. Have you ever cried: uhhhhh, DUH!
13. Are you lonely right now? define "lonely"
14. Song that's stuck in your head right now: for once it's NOT "sugar we are going down"
15. Have you ever played strip poker: see also "strip dice"
16. Have you ever gotten beat up: not physically
17. Have you ever been on radio/TV: yes
20. Last person you talked to on the phone?: mac
21. Your Favorite Food?: chickenandfries
23. Popcorn flavor? i need my kernels to be DROWNING in buttah
24. Cats or Dogs: see also: "3 cats"
26. How many pillows do you sleep with: 1
27. Who are you missing right now? neither you, nor i have time for THAT list
28. Who do you think is handsome?: my husband
29. Who do you think is beautiful?: me, on the inside
30. What is the most important Character trait? humor

SUCCESS!

2006-04-18T12:32:00.000-07:00

the adoption process, that is.

yes, ladies and germs... due to all of your crossing of fingers, toes, and various other body parts,

WE GET TO KEEP HIM!

Rooney Callahan can stay.

E had no say after he saw the picture with the remote. it was pretty much decided. it really was up to the Other KittyGirls in the house. we had a family meeting and the girls agreed they would not eat him. and he agreed that he would not pull their tails. and all was good.

so we are now, OFFICIALLY, "Those People" with the 3 cats.

CHAOS

2006-04-15T13:26:00.000-07:00

when i worked for the coffee roaster, we created a wholesale company as well. using my incredible artistic talent i created the logo. and helped to inspire some of the blends. the company has since taken off and i have a great sense of pride in it and it's "employees"

i found out their website is up and running.

go here for CHAOS!!!

tell em the RockStar sent ya!

KITTTTT-DEN!!!!!

2006-04-10T07:58:00.000-07:00

my friend Mac wanted a cat. around Christmas time, he found out his cousins had a cat they couldn't keep. so the cat began it's journey to Mac's house. i think the cat had to come from Lubbock and his mom was so kind to keep it for a few weeks until Mac could get down there to get her. she is a registered persian. tortoise shell in color. and since we have 2 torties, i was excited to see what a long-haired one looked like.

one day at work, before he retrieves his cat, he gets a call from his mother. she tells him that she saw his new cat, Maggie, with another cat and she thinks she "got him away from her soon enough" as in... they were doing the Kitty Nasty.

a day or so later, she tells him that he will probably need to give her a good brushing since she hasn't been able to do it lately.

then later in the day she called back to tell him he might want to get a flea collar since she had been outside.

so Mac was very excited about his new "mangy, flea-bitten, knocked-up cat"

but when he got her, it wasn't as terrible as it seemed. but we found out weeks later, that she was, indeed, knocked-up.

now, my friend Mac lives in an apartment that he has beautifully decorated. and since this was also his first cat, he realized, "he was NOT equipped for kittens" so he sent maggie BACK to the country to have her litter right around the time she was ready to BURST! poor girl looked SO miserable.

so we were on Kitten Watch '06. all of us at work anxiously awaited the news of kittens. one girl we work with wanted one for her 6 year old daughter. and i was hoping there would be an orange boy to bring home to my family too. and even when i brought it up to my dear husband, he shot the idea down time and time again.

and then she went and had an orange one.

and we got pictures. and my heart was broken. and we waited 6 weeks for Maggie and her kittens to come home. Mac brought one back for the girl we work with. one back for a a guy we know to give to his sister and then the orange one and the grey one.

but he couldn't keep all the kittens in his apartment while he waited for them to be "adopted" so he asked if i would take one of the ones that wasn't spoken for for a week. i said, "yes, the orange one, right?" and so the deal was done.

now i hadn't told E about this transaction so yesterday when i came home from work with a cardboard box that was making tiny kitten noises, he was surprised, to say the least. first he was a little upset. and IMMEDIATELY said no. and then i told him it was only for a week and he rolled his eyes... and said OK. and i knew i might have my foot in the door when he got online to do research on how to introduce the kitten to our 2 kitty girls. and then he sent me to the store for kitten food, litter, food bowls, and a toy.

he then sat on the couch and watched the Master's with a sleeping kitten on his lap. (SCORE!)
i even heard him say, "too bad you are so fucking adorable!"

and he posted on his messageboards about good ways to handle the introductions... and then he posted pictures of him. hope E doesn't get too attached........

but here is the latest addition to our household.
i give you Rooney Callahan:

Rooney is scottish for red-haired
and about 8 of you can figure out the Callahan part.

and yes, we named him. he was Rooney Callahan before he was even born. we are those weird types who come up with pet names and then wait for that animal to come into our lives when they are supposed to. like Simon was Simon before we ever laid eyes on him. and E wants weimeraners named Fellas and Savannah. and i am still waiting for my english bulldog to name Agatha. they just haven't all been borned yet.

cross your fingers that we get to keep him for more than a week.

have a coke and a brain tumor

2006-04-06T15:31:00.000-07:00

dear Coke,

my friend just bought me a 4-pak of Coke BLAK. being a very enthusiastic coffee drinker, i was EXTREMELY excited to finally have a bottle of your newest product in my hands. as i was about to take the first sip, something prompted me to read the ingredients.

and i am very glad i did.

water...sugar...high fructose corn syrup.... etc. and the last 2 ingredients: aspartame and acesulfame potassium.

WHY?!?!?!

when a drink already has the high fructose corn syrup WHY add the artificial sweeteners? especially the ones that do the MOST damage. AND where is your PHENYLALANINE warning? oh, yeah, there isn't one.

so. i put the cap back on and threw the 4-pak in the trash. kudos on making money off my friend and most assuredly countless others, but this was a pretty dumb idea.

are you getting monetary compensation from the "poison" companies? i.e. the makers of aspartame and acesulfame k? is THAT why you put their poisons in your drinks that don't need them?

i am ashamed of you and for you, Coca Cola.

too bad i am posting this on my highly read blog too.

sincerely, christel

(sent via email on the coca-cola contact us form)

i hate it when...

2006-04-05T07:20:00.000-07:00

those damned quiz things are right...

Your Life Path Number is 1

Your purpose in life is to lead others.

You have great drive and determination. Nothing is going to stand in your way.
You seek out challenges and the spotlight. You'll take all the work - and all the glory.
Status and success are important to you. You demand the best from everyone and everything.

In love, you tend to take a protective role. You enjoy being the provider in relationships.

You expect others to be like you, and as a result, you are often disappointed.
A little selfish and vain, you always put yourself first.
Remember, everyone already knows you're great - you don't need to remind them!

What Is Your Life Path Number?]

Your Birthdate: December 3

You are more than a big ball of energy - you are a big ball of hyper.
You are always on the go, but you don't have a type a personality.
Instead of channeling your energy into work, you instead go for fun and adventure.
Witty and verbal, you can have an interesting conversation with anyone.

Your strength: Your larger than life imagination

Your weakness: You tend to be pretty scattered

Your power color: Lime

Your power symbol: Lightening bolt

Your power month: March

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

six inches forward and five inches back

2006-03-31T09:26:00.000-08:00

so i called Allie around 11 last night. this is how that conversation went:

"WHO DIS?!?!?!?!"

"i don't get it."

"don't get what?"

"Hedwig"

"and the Angry Inch?"

"yeah"

"i LOVE it."

"i know.. and i feel like less of a Number because i don't get it. i mean i GOT Life Aquatic.. but this.. this i don't get."

"yeah i DIDN'T get Life Aquatic... but Hedwig... i loved the music.. the lyrics, you know.. and if nothing else, the FABULOUS makeup"

"eddie chalked it up to never smoking pot, that's why he didn't get Life Aquatic"

"yeah that must be my reason too..."

"but Hedwig....granted i've only watched about 11 minutes of it, but i just don't get it."

"you should call Tasty, she's the one who told me about it."

"TASTY???? shut the fuck up!"

"no really"

"ima give it about 13 more minutes... and then ima watch the rest of the first season of Grey's Anatomy... i just don't get this... "

"ok loving you"

"loving you"

yeah i didn't even make it through 13 more minutes of it. and i usually like abstract movies like that.... i just didn't get it.

BUT i will agree about the makeup.

"DON'T BE LAME!!!!!!"

2006-03-28T12:08:00.000-08:00

back from vacay...

details to follow.

need to unpack first.
sheesh.

off to see The Wizard

2006-03-18T07:03:00.000-08:00

my Mimi is losing her fight.

and i want to thank all of you who have put her in your thoughts and prayers. it means more to me and my family, than you will ever know.

breathe

2006-03-10T08:42:00.000-08:00

my Mimi is in the hospital.

she started feeling poorly after my mom left dallas, last weekend. and i got a call from my mom that she was rushed to the hospital last night because she wasn't breathing on her own. now she has emphysema already and is tethered to an oxygen machine all the time anyway... but this not breathing thing freaks me out. her doctors say they other than not breathing on her own, there is NOTHING else wrong with her. BUT.... breathing is pretty essential.

yeah. i'm worried.
i'm not ready for my Mimi to go yet. that old bird has LOTS of livin left to do. and i'll kick her georgia peach ass if she thinks differently.

so, could you spare some healthy breathe-y lung juju and send it her way?
thanks.

oh how i wish i were a trinity....

2006-03-07T12:25:00.000-08:00

so that if i lost a part of me i'd still have two of the same to live.

my mom and brother were here this weekend and we had the BEST time. they came in on Saturday and we ate BBQ and watched movies. on sunday, we got up and watched MORE movies and the baby brother was getting antsy about getting his tattoo. see, he decided long ago that he wanted one, and i was supposed to go with him to get it before i moved. but that didn't happen. so, i promised him that i would get him one for his 21st birthday, which was February 22nd. and a good sister sticks to her word...

i'd heard of a place that a friend had gotten some work done and we called them and they were booked. we called another place where i got my new nose ring.. and decided that sounded like a good place.

have design
have money
have one antsy, nervous brother
have one mother who "isn't going to SIT IN THERE and watch comeone do that to HER baby"
have one husband who is over exaggerating the tattooing process
have one Christel who is trying to wrangle all parties to Sugar Daddy's before 3 pm.

sheesh.

we talked to the guy... he drew some stuff... we conversed and changed....

ready.
set.
go.

the outline.

the shading.

some more shading.

THE FINISHED PRODUCT.

i got this same tattoo about 9 years ago, also at the age of 21. it was from a necklace that i wore for years. it is a james avery design and it is a trinity symbol. when Z's father died, it was just me, and mom, and Z. and throughout my life i found myself in various groupings of 3s.
(see how the Number thing all falls into place, too?)

E has 2 of them on his forearm as well. they are the end pieces to a bigger celtic design.

it all comes full circle.

p.s. i miss you guys already. :(

TRAIN

2006-03-02T20:24:00.000-08:00

for a long time, "Meet Virginia" was my favorite Train songs.

off the new CD: For Me it's You... this one is quickly moving up my list...

"always remember"

Always remember

I'm by your side

Such a shame that you had to go

So much more that I'd like to know

So many things you forgot to show me how to do

When times are hard I forget your gone

I go to call you before it dawns on me

That you wont be there now

But I still have these words that you gave me

Always remember I'm by your side

I got two kids of my own now

They grow up so fast

And how I wish you did not miss that part of who I am

But I keep doing all that I can do

And I will smile when they ask about you

And I will sing to them every day

With the voice and the words that you used to say

Will change the world one day

Always remember I'm by your side

And while they grow up you will show up

In things they do and say

Like a reflection to a connection

Of who they'll be one day

They will learn to get their wings

And fly through the changes life will bring

So on

And it will go on

And you will go on

And they will sing with the voice that you gave them

Always remember I'm by your side

I'm by your side

If you could have any sort of pet, what would it be?

2006-03-01T07:39:00.000-08:00

Five individual pets that join up to make a super pet, DUH.
what do you think the Numbers are?

but according to this quiz: Which Polyhedral Are You??

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

four words

2006-02-23T15:34:00.000-08:00

i
heart
taylor
hicks!

no, really i mean it.

he's my pick.

you're gonna put that WHERE?!?!?!

2006-02-20T10:38:00.000-08:00

so, i have an appointment today with the *whispers* girl doctor.

why am i telling you this?

because

A) i've never been

B) i'm 30! (shut up, i said it.)

C) i've NEVER been

D) i promised the boy i would this year.

E) i've never BEEN

F) it's prolly a good idea to go and make sure that i really have all the right parts in there if we ever decide to get with it and have children (i'm still considering out-sourcing, dear)

G) did i mention I'VE NEVER BEEN?!?!?!

so. yeah. i am TERRIFIED. i don't wanna go. i know i need to go, but i don't wanna. AND... i want my mommie there to hold my hand too. how horrible is THAT? i'm 30-fucking-years-old and i still want my mommie there to hold my hand while some man looks at places i don't think you are supposed to even look at. if you were, then it shouldn't require special instruments to do so and it CERTAINLY should be easier to get to. you know, like behind my ear or something less embarrasing. literally emBARE-ASSing.

and they are going to draw blood. peachy. she of the rolling veins. and i bet they wanna WEIGH me too. the bastards. they really know how to ruin a day off. ya know?

so yeah. i'm going. despite the child in me who wants to pretend that there's no need to, i'm going.

wish me luck...

and please send up thoughts of warm speculums and glittery girl parts.

of things hermione and laws of physics

2006-02-14T12:36:00.000-08:00

this always happens... i posted a drafted blog... and then something blogworthy happens. so please read the post after this one as well.

so, now to the REAL post for today.

remember in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, when Hermione says, "Is that really what my hair looks like from the back?"

i had a Hermione moment today.

i went to "shopping establishment that has a BULLSEYE logo" on my lunch hour today, looking for some more work pants.

i picked 4 cute pair and traipsed my happy self to the dressing rooms.

this is where the laws of physics come into play.

apparently the communist sickos that own said "BullsEye" store have rigged a way that if one stands at exactly the right angle, ONE CAN SEE WHAT ONE'S OWN ASS LOOKS LIKE.

now for some people, like Jenny McCarthy and 10 year old girls, this would be something fascinating and gratifying. for the rest of the world this can be a HORRIFYING experience.

and by, "rest of the world," i mean ME.

i saw it.

in all it's glory.

that which is flawed and wobbly.

in 3D cinemascope.

and let me just tell you, this trick of physics should NEVER EVER be tested. trust me.
certain things should not test those laws. THIS... and size 24 red leather pants. Red Leather Pants should just not come in certain sizes. and if you have found yourself a proud owner of said pants, please, for all of humanity, DO NOT WEAR THEM OUTSIDE*. also for your sake, do not go into a "BullsEye" dressing room.

i have risked that danger and peril for you.

i know, i'm a giver.

needless to say, i left the store with no pants ... and an ass i choose NOT to ever see again. too bad i can't get a refund for that.

*no offense to anyone size 24 or above. i'm just sayin that certain body shapes don't jive with leather. mine included, lately.

tag you're it!

2006-02-08T08:43:00.000-08:00

i was tagged by Tasty....

Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place.
Then add your blog to the bottom slot.

Sara with No H
Just Thoughts
I Am Prepared to Give Up at Any Time
So Much Myself (co-starring the bandwagon.)
3 gallons of coffee and nowhere to go

Next, select five people to tag.

ian
jenny
tex
blondie
felix

What were you doing 10 years ago? living with the first fiancee, Mike. fighting like cats and dogs, and then i moved out to my own place. i was working at the Chamber of Commerce. i had no clue who i was.

What were you doing 5 years ago? being miserable that my boyfriend was in Japan and Australia until july. working for a wireless phone company. living in SC.

What were you doing 1 year ago? packing to move to amarillo, getting stranded on my way to The Numbers Summit. "Let's do that again. Tomorrow." (ditto, Tasty!) oh and being an anxious nervous wreck. and an ogre on top of that.

Here's to the ultimate luxury: choice.

Five snacks you enjoy:

my mom's artichoke dip
Roasted Raspberry Chipotle Sauce (i'm addicted to this stuff)
oreos
angela's salsa
anything with garlic and cheese

Five songs you know all the words to:

into the mystic, van morrison
baby's got back, sir mix-a-lot
lime in the coconut, kermit the frog version
spongebob squarepants theme
damned near any indigo girls song

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

buy a green dress, but not a real green dress, that's cruel
be debtless
own a coffee roasting business (if not a plantation, too!)
VACAY in Bora Bora for the Numbers
charities charities charities

Five bad habits:

making fun of dumb people
always needing to be right
sending people to voicemail
leaping before looking
procrastination... procrastination....procrastination....

Five things you enjoy doing:

goofing around with E
knitting
playing WoW
laughing
going to a baseball game

Five things you would never wear again:

gaucho pants
anything with a cartoon character on it
anything with "puff paint"
a size 8
white shoes

Five favorite toys/games:

World of Warcrack
trivial pursuit
drUnkEn UnO
our new speedy computer
hopefully my new SLVR *sigh*

ok... WHO'S next?

burning desire

2006-02-08T07:42:00.000-08:00

i read this Fish's blog and i TOTALLY understand her obsessions.

like the one she wrote about the Senseo coffee maker. i absolutely get that!
ask E about my cobalt blue mixer obsession.

so i have wanted a few things of late, you know, the running list... english bulldog, porsche 911 turbo cabriolet, my own island. you know, THAT list.

but i have a small list as well, usually silly things that i could buy for myself. a few weeks ago it was a striped canvas shower curtain. prior to that it was a set of black dishes, and before that it was a fossil watch.

but now?

oh i yearn.
i ache.
i want! i want! i want!

this:

i need to have it.

for those of you who may not know what it is, it's Motorola's new phone called SLVR. (thin as a sliver, you see....)
it's a phone and it's an iPod. yes, i know they came out with one before. but i want THIS one.

i could have Into the Mystic and Thunderstruck at! my! fingertips!

ANY! TIME! I! WANTED!

yes, yes, i am aware of the thing called iPod. but the one we get will be E's. (he needs more songs, i can get by with 100)

BUT I WANT IT!!!!!
I NEED IT!!!!
I PINE FOR IT!!!!!
I DESIRE IT!!!!
I ACHE FOR IT!!!!!

and for the low low bargain prcie of $200 it could be mine.

*sigh*

hippie chick

2006-02-03T10:36:00.000-08:00

so, about this FUNK i have been in.....

yeah.

it's been pretty bad. at the slightest push, i could let forth a torrent of tears to rival Niagara Falls. and THAT'S never pretty.
when an episode of M*A*S*H prompts the BAD cry... you know something's up. (p.s. E grounded me from M*A*S*H for a week because of it)

so, yeah.

but today, a beacon of light... someone commented on Tex's blog about Venus in retrograde. and of course i had to go see what all that affects. (or is it effects?)

and according to astrology.com

In general, Venus, the goddess of love, rules feelings and emotion, aesthetics and tastes, fashions and all forms of desire, money and wealth. Venus rules social attitudes and behaviour, along with aesthetic tastes and inclinations. Venus symbolises female relationships and social interactions at every level. Venus indicates our values. She governs romance, marriage and other partnerships, capacity for humour, and the pursuit of pleasure.
During a retrograde period the things Venus influences will be less apparent, or be of less concern to the world. Visual sensibilities are reduced. People dress with less flair and our colour sense tends to be muted. This is not the time to purchase clothes or jewellery, change one's make-up or hairstyle. Redecorating or refurbishing homes or business should also be avoided, though there is no reason why decisions that have been made earlier should not be allowed to come to fruition during this period.
With Venus retrograde, the pace of relationships slows down and this is not the best time to get married or give big parties. Since Venus rules diplomacy, slowdowns in all sorts of negotiations can be expected, including industrial disputes, legal issues and diplomatic endeavours.
It is a time when we are called upon to go back and take care of unfinished business. Often we are forced to deal with deep feelings that have their origins in past events. They are activated on an inner level but are often difficult to express to ourselves or others while Venus is retrograde.

WELL, DUH!?!?!?!

that explains a lot. so i called E to let him know that there was an actual reason for my funk. and he sounded like he was as relieved as i was, but was using his "whatever you say, Moon-Child" voice.

i don't care what he thinks. i feel better knowing its not a chemical imbalance, or that my crazy is showing again.

oh, and heads up... Mercury goes into retrograde on March 2. look out!

la lengua

2006-01-31T14:42:00.000-08:00

i realized a while back, when i was around some old friends, that i have my own vocabulary. and only a few people understand it. so i decided to make an Christel to English Dictionary. that way EVERYONE knows what im talking about ( oh and so they can all be like me, which is what EVERYONE wants in the first place, right?) ready? here we go

sump = something (my baby brother started this one, he was a little deaf when he was born and couldn't hear to emulate the english language)
unna one = the other one or something different (used in a general sort of way)
unna one kind = the other one (used in a more specific manner)
itty bitty baby one kind = small (note the use of 5 words to describe 1)
christelmas = christmas
forwent = past tense of 'forgo'
chilly brew ha ha's = beers (thanks to daniel)
haggamers = hamburgers
toilee pinter = toilet paper
ellelator = elevator
shlellows = marshmallows
fancy kind = unusual
strawgabiggies = strawberries
neenut putter = peanut butter
smashed tatatoes = mashed potatoes
co-hee = coffee
war-tow = water tower
charlie foxtrot = cluster fuck
"SHUT UP!!!!" = "no way", "you're kidding", "that's amazing", " get out!", "WOW!"
"WHO DIS?!?!?!" = "hello"
"not knowin" = "i dont know"
"no gotty" = "i dont have it"
"what do?" = "what are you doing?"
"where go?" = "where are you going?"

OH and almost every noun is pluralized,

i put some sugarS in my co-heeS.
milkS in my cerealS.
i want chickenS for the dinnerS.

ok so i guess its really just anything pertaining to food that gets pluralized.

and everyone gets a "The"

THE mommie
THE daddy
THE tistel-girl
THE charlie dog
THE boy
THE me

now, go forth and confuse the shit outta people with your new language! YAY!!!!!

about 13 minutes of enjoyment.

2006-01-21T16:18:00.001-08:00

i found this at work yesterday, and we watched it about 4 times.

enjoy...

and then later, i found that they had done another one.

more for your viewing pleasure...

a question for the masses

2006-01-16T19:47:00.000-08:00

about my very own personal mass.

anyone ever heard of ear stapling?

thoughts?

ideas?

testimonials?

nay-saying?

let me know, wouldja?

accepting my limitations....

2006-01-14T08:31:00.001-08:00

so the other night, after i got out of the tub, i decided i was going to put on a little something more *ahem* "inspiring".... ya know, instead of an oversized Tshirt and big ole pj bottoms.

so i dug through the dresser drawer that houses items of the inspirational variety. a drawer that OBVIOUSLY doesn't get used often... i mean SERIOUSLY, how often can you wear the Naughty Nurse outfit before it gets old?

i keed... i keed.

but back to my story.

i put on one thing... and it's too much. i put on another thing... and it's not enough.... i put on another and it's not what i was looking for. it was like Goldilocks Gone BAD!

i decided to scrap the idea and opted for the regular old PJ's, remembering that E mentioned being tired earlier in the evening. so, i figured my naughtiness would have been received well, but would have been more like Dress-Up, than my original intentions.

so shortly after, i started sneezing. and then my eyes got all scratchy. and my neck was all itchy. and i was all manner of finding myself in a full-blown allergy attack.

yes, i will admit it. my naughty items had not been used in SO long that they were DUSTY. no lie. and as we all know, i am allergic to dust.

you can see where this is going right?

had i stayed with my original game plan, E would have come home to a sexily dressed wife with watery, swollen eyes, a runny nose, and scratch marks all over her neck in a benadryl induced coma.

HOTT? right?

yeah. nuh-uh.

and THIS is why i should only do nude scenes.

i spy....

2006-01-12T09:01:00.000-08:00

(pic stolen from Judd's wife who stole it from someone else)

ok, so it's now Thursday, but i just found this.. and thought i would jump on the bandwagon.

so come out... come out.... wherever you are.....

we recycle

2006-01-11T10:54:00.000-08:00

gotta love recyling other people's posts MONTHS afterwards to make yourself look original.

10 Favorites…
Favorite Color: purple
Favorite Food: italian or comfort
Favorite Band/Singer: van morrison
Favorite Hobby: knitting
Favorite Movie: auntie mame
Favorite Sport: baseball
Favorite Season: fall
Favorite Day of the Week: friday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: one sweet whirled
Favorite Time of Day: morning

9 Currents…
Current Mood: in love
Current Clothes: blue sweater, black slacks, argyle knee highs, and stupid work shoes
Current Underwear Color: orange with red and yellow dots
Current Desktop Picture: work related
Current Nail Color: nails: french manicure.... toes: eggplant frost (the OFFICIAL color of the 3s)
Current Time: 4:42 pm
Current Surroundings: office
Current Annoyances: foot pain, i need new work shoes
Current Thoughts: that healthy little lunch didn't last real long

8 Firsts…
First Best Friend: heather
First Screen Name: wondergirl29
First Pet: beagle: snoopy
First Tattoo: celtic trinity on left ankle
First Crush: chris flynn
Music Group: pointer sisters
First Car: 1985 powder blue honda sedan: Marge

7 Lasts…
Last Cigarette: who knows...its been a long while and i was probably so drunk that i took a few drags and put it out.
Last Drink: beer on sunday with dinner with E
LastTime on Drugs: the only acid i drop these days is Folic
Last Kiss: this morning...kinda morning breathy though
Last Movie Watched: mystery, alaska on sunday
Last CD Played: michael tolcher... sent by Ang for my birthday

6 Haves...
Have you ever dated one of your best friends? define "date"
Have you ever broken the law? sure
Have you ever been arrested? nuh-uh
Have you ever skinny dipped? not yet
Have you ever been on television? yep
Have you ever kissed someone you didn’t know? how else are you going to "know" them?

5 Places You’ve Been…
london
scotland
new york
deliverance
hell and back

4 People You Can Tell Anything To…
eddie
angela
my mommie
the numbers

3 Things…
3 things you can hear right now: crappy muzak, me clicking away at the keyboard, and co-workers laughing
3 things you can’t live without: love, coffee, bacon
3 things you do when you’re bored: play video games, knit, eat

2 Choices...
Black or white: black
Hot or cold: hot

1 Thing
1 Thing You Want To Do Before You Die…leave a great legacy

ooh ooh

2006-01-05T11:11:00.000-08:00

pick me!!! pick me!!!

2006 Bloggies Award

i'll be your best friend...

guess which piggie gets none.

2006-01-02T08:28:00.000-08:00

sitting on the couch last night, with my dear husband the following conversation transpired:

"this little piggie went to market, this little piggie loves you lots. this little piggie ate ... ham... or something..."

"HAM? the PIGGIE ate HAM?"

"they are cannibalistic piggies."

"what are they? BOARS? are you trying to tell me that because my feet are so big, my piggies are now considered BOARS with giant scary tusksksksksks?"

"what was that last word?"

"tusk-sk-sk-sk-sks."

"oh right. i thought i caught that"

"stop trying to change the subject. you think i have BOARS for toes. huge, truffle-sniffing, man-killing cannibalistic BOARS!"

(at this point he is crying from laughter. and trying to still have this very serious conversation with me and i have tucked my feet under me, so the next man they kill isn't him.)

later on, he tried to play with my feet and i snapped back at him with,

"LEAVE MY BOARS ALONE"

"oh yeah, THAT'S gonna stick."

(letter to Santa, by way of my husband)

2005-12-23T05:33:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

my husband asked me to send this to him as well. i know you guys are in cahoots, so i really don't mind.

i KNOW i have been a good girl this year (because i wasn't last year) and he can vouch for that. HE, on the other hand.... well.. he had a rocky start this year. but he's a very good boy now. i promise.

as good as he is right now, i wonder if i should even really be making a list. because having the man he is now is such a wonderful gift that i really couldn't ask for more. and we have a marriage again, too. which is nicer than it was, even from the beginning. there is joy and happiness and a love that i have never known. our house is filled with laughter and silliness, respect and adoration. these are gifts that i was unsure we could ever have again. so making a list for you, Santa, seems selfish. i have all that i could want. i have my husband back. no, i have the husband of my dreams. the white knight he promised me 5 years ago. so, he was a little late... i didnt exactly make his arrival easy. but he's here. and i am thankful and appreciative of the gift which is us.

but if you feel that i am deserving of more gifts, i have a small list for you.

* lime squeezer
* coffee-maker
* tea pot
* purple sheets for our bed
* barbie dreamhouse
* tonka dumptruck
* pedicure
* romantic time with my husband (making out, dancing in the courtyard, swinging in the park, showers together, picnic at palo duro canyon, etc.)
* and if its not too much trouble, can you put in a good word with mother nature that we would perhaps like an extra stocking hanging by the fireplace next year? or even maybe an easter basket the year after? it's not too time sensitive... just send her a cookie bouquet or something? thanks Santa.

but it's really ok if you just come to see eddie on christmas day. he's had a really rough year. and there are days when i don't make it easy for him to feel like we are moving forward. so he could use a little extra love. because i am working my little butt off loving him up as much as i can. it's a fun gig, but sometimes i need some outside help showing him how much i love him. you know, because i am biased.

i hope all of your journeys are safe this holiday season.

best wishes,
~christel elaine

fountain of youth

2005-12-12T13:30:00.000-08:00

so, the main gay and i were talking about his new eye cream the other night. he told me that the man i saw before me would not be the same man the next day.

he would be "but a lad of 20 years"

i said, "lad???? hell with that shit, you'll be but a zygote"

and without skipping a beat, he says,

"but i don't have shoes for that!?!?!"

damn near peed at walmart.

in a word....

2005-12-05T10:22:00.000-08:00

ROTTEN.

as in, "christel is spoiled ROTTEN."

wanna know why?

on the morning of my birthday, i finally got to open the james avery package that my parents sent . i had been DYING to get into it for about a week. i knew it was going to be something fabulous... and really wanted to see what it was. so, before i even got in the shower that morning, i tore into it. what did i find?

a GORGEOUS RING!!!!!
it looks a lot, if not exactly like this:

beautiful, no?

i KNOW!

so i wore it to work and showed it off and kept checking it out in the track lighting. it is so pretty. i adore it! thanks mom and dad. i love you!

on my way home, E called to inform me that the gift he had for me (that he paid EXTRA to have delivered on saturday) would not be here until monday. he was bummed. i was bummed. but we had a magnificent dinner, and went shopping for our christmas tree.

cut to today. i am off work. sitting on the couch in my PJs, knitting (because i am a KNITTER) and the doorbell rings. we are expecting several packages. our new computer case, some cables, and a router for said computer and MOST importantly (at least to me) my SUPER FANTASTIC THING.... that i have had to wait 2 more days for.

the guy gives me the box for the case.. and then a smaller box.
i go pounce on my sleeping husband BEGGING him to let me open the box. he told me to wait until he got up. i told him i had waited long enough.
i took the box into the bedroom and he tells me "its probably just the router"

as i dig into the box, i find bubble wrap and a smaller box. a jewelry sized box. i can hardly contain myself. 2 jewelries for my birthday, YAY!

i open the box. and the velvet box... and inside was this:

no, i am NOT lying. and its even more spectacular than the picture shows. this sucker is HUGE!!!! it has to be at least 2 carats. and 6 diamonds on each side.

its BREATH-TAKING.
thank you so very much my sweet husband. i love you too!

so, i not only have a beautiful blue topaz to wear for EVERYDAY, i now have another one to wear for special occasions. you know, like Tuesdays.... or International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

last, but not least, i got a really cute coffee cup clock and coffee box from my aunt, sweet little initial hooks from my grandmother, which will be PERFECT for hanging stockings for The Fat Man. and from my floridian family, i got a huge metal sign that reads, "QUEEN"

fitting, no?

and from work, i got flowers and cake and whistles, and gifties, and several mentions on the radio.

so, thank you to all of you who made my day so very very special. i am such a lucky girl.

Once t’upon a time...

2005-12-03T08:47:00.000-08:00

...there was a woman, who really really wanted children. Finally after 6 miscarriages she was finally going to carry a baby to term. She knew from the moment she conceived that it was going to be a girl. She called her Christel, even though her husband really wanted a boy and called it Bozo. But she was convinced beyond a doubt it would be a girl.

The pregnancy went along fine and mommie-to-be was happy as could be. The baby was not in a hurry to join the world. The pregnancy was 3 weeks past due and the mommie was miserable. She and hubby had done everything to hurry the delivery along to no avail. Then one night he comes in all excited that his friend Eddie has tickets to a San Antonio Spurs basketball game. The mommie is not excited, what if she goes into labor and he’s in the middle of a basketball game. This was before the age of cell phones. Anyway she said she guessed he could go so long as his friend’s wife, Carolyn, would “baby”sit her. Carolyn agreed and off the guys go to watch the Spurs.

The mommie and Carolyn played some cards. About 8:00 the mommie couldn’t get comfortable, her lower back was bothering her. So they stopped sitting in uncomfortable chairs and went in the other room to watch some TV.

Carolyn said that the mommie might be in labor, but the mommie said she wasn’t in pain, just uncomfortable. Finally about midnight the fellas arrived home. Needless to say, you can’t go to a Spurs game and not drink beer, so they were a little tipsy and a lot tired.

On the way home, the poppa asked if she wanted to go to the hospital, it was on the way home. The mommie had already been to the hospital once with “false” labor and didn’t want to do that again. She said, “no I’m not having any pains, let’s just go home and go to sleep”, which they did… for a while anyway.

About 1:00.the mommie’s water broke. She tried to wake the poppa up, but he wasn’t having any of it. When she finally convinced him that it was time to go he got in an all-out hurry. Meanwhile, the mommie was putting on a little make-up, after all this is a big day and she wanted to look her best. The poppa was antsy and was trying to rush her out the door.

Once they arrived at the hospital it was all excitement. But her labor was slow, slow, slow. The poppa was asleep (or maybe passed out) in a chair. Contractions were fast so the doctor started the epidural. Then her contractions stopped. They started her on a pitocin drip only to find out there was a hole in the tubing and most of the pitocin was in a puddle on the floor. The poppa woke up occasionally to see how she was doing, basically he was not much help.

Finally her contractions started again, she was completely dilated and they told her it was time to push. She was pushing good, but, wait, they realized she was not fully dilated to they told her to stop pushing. Now it really was time. They took her to the delivery room -by now it is about 4:30 the next afternoon. The epidural had worn off, so they did a spinal. She was exhausted and wanted to give up. The only thing that kept her pushing was that she really, really wanted to know if the baby had red hair. A very tuned-in nurse kept coaxing her to push by saying “we can almost see her, I think her hair is red, but push one more time so I can be sure”. Finally, after much pushing and then use of the “salad forks”, Christel was born. At 5:02 December 3, 1975. The mommie waited anxiously for that first cry. And did she ever cry, holler was more like it.

The mommie was totally worn out, and now she was numb from her toes to her throat, she had no energy to even cough. When they brought Christel to her to hold, she started crying, scared to death she would drop her. But the nurse helped her and she didn’t drop her.

She was the most beautiful thing the mommie had ever seen. And she came from her, you see the mommie was adopted and this was the first person in the world she was really related to. The mommie couldn’t stop crying, tears of joy, and exhaustion, and excitement, and more joy. It was almost too much emotion to handle.

Then they took Christel to the nursery and finished up with the mommie. After the mommie spent 3 hours in recovery she was finally allowed to go to the nursery to see her brand new daughter. And guess what that little girl was doing when the mommie saw her the first time---she was up on her elbows looking around at the world in amazement. And guess what, she still looks at the world in amazement and with a sense of awe.

Today she is 30 years old. She is the light of my life, my first and best treasure. I love her more than she will ever know. She has grown into a beautiful, witty, caring, sensitive, smart, loving woman. She is all the mommie every hoped for, and more.

Happy Birthday, Baby.

Love, The Mommie.

fat activity

2005-11-30T18:58:00.000-08:00

ok so yeah, whilst talking to alliepants yesterday, she was telling me a story that started with, "if i didnt have a rice krispie treat in my hand at all times, i was entertaining homicidal thoughts". and then she told me that not only were they ooey and gooey goodness, but they were also butterscotch.

BUTTERSCOTCH!
RICE!
KRISPIE!
TREATS!
PEOPLE!!!!!

needless to say, i made her repeat whatever words she made after "....treats" because i TOTALLY went into a place with where the unicorns were made from butterscotch rice krispie treats...

which TOTALLY meant i had to make them, right? i mean, i AM a Number!

so, i am going to share the recipe. and i bet that they arent nearly as good as they would be if allie was in my veryownpersonal house making them for me.

here goes:

3 tbls of buttah
1 package of butterscotch morsels
1 package of shmallows
6 cups of rice krispies

on low heat, melt buttah. add morsels. add shmallows. mix till ooey. add krispies and mix.

pour (dump) into a greased 9x13 and smoosh till flat.

the hardest part of this is NOT burning your fingers trying to shovel it into your mouth instead of the pan.

oh sweet yummy goodness....

hallowed be thy name.

hi! hi! hi!

2005-11-29T07:37:00.000-08:00

i'm back. did you miss me? i know you DID!!!!!

vacay was FABULOUS! got to see all my peeps and my family and my doggie. it was perfect. we had the best time.

the turkey was the best i'd ever had... and am SO upset that i don't even get any of the turkey sandwiches, but the shining light is that since E didn't go with me, we are going to have our very own lil thanksgiving. so i get to make the same turkey momma did. Y-U-M!

seeing all my peeps was great. the one main sentiment i heard was about how long my hair has gotten. i forgot that when i started hanging out with those freaks, i had just cut off 14 inches for Locks of Love so the fact that my hair is on it way back to "normal for me" was not a big deal. but they adored my tresses... and really, who can blame them?

we ate and laughed and drank big beers and ate some more and laughed some more. and then the HUGGING!!!! good lawd the hugging. i miss all you Peeps already. we will do it again soon.

and then my family! yay family! it was so nice to be able to see my family again in such a relatively short time. i could get used to those visitation rights. the mommie and daddie were both fantastic! and seeing my other one baby brother was nice too. i cant believe he is going to be 21 soon. am i really that old to have a "brother who can legally buy beer"? yeah, i didn't think so either. but he and i had fun. mostly on our trips to wal*mart. yes, we are those obnoxious people at wal*mart who run around like banshees! you never know, we could be coming to wal*mart near you!

so i ate and drank and laughed and taught my momma how to knit ( i mean REALLY???? how cute is that?!?!?!) we ate some more and had an all around awesome time.

the only bad part about the whole thing was my husband who was unable to stow himself in my luggage. i kept hoping that with each pair of socks i removed, he would spring out and surprise me... alas, no. but next time i head back, it will read, "we went back to SC" not just "i".

and as for thanksgiving, i am thankful for many things.
i am thankful for my wonderful friends and family.
i am thankful for second chances.
i am thankful for honesty.
and i am thankful for my new husband and the opportunity to be a new wife. the people we were before just didn't fit right. the new people we are now are a perfect fit.

i hope your holiday was and will be one filled with as much love and happiness as mine was.

about

2005-11-20T18:08:00.000-08:00

1. Spell your first name backwards: L E T S I R H C
2. Story behind your name: i was almost named Carisa after a street in Dallas, where my mom used to go "necking". good thing, THAT didnt happen. but i think "Christel" just came to her one day. she always knew i was going to be Christel.
3. How old are you: 29 and 50/52nds
4. Where do you live: Amarillo... that's TEXAS, baby.
5. Wallet: black with a monkey on the front (duh). i have some credit cards, fortunes, and frequent shopper cards. i have a very organized wallet. i hate watching someone dig thru gum wrappers and receipts to find their money.
6. Toothbrush: purple, made by Crest
7. Jewelry worn daily: nose ring, 3 piercings in left ear= diamond stud, silver hoop, and changeable earring. 2 piercings in right = silver hoop and changeable earring. one silver ring on middle finger of right hand, wedding ring and BIG HONKIN diamond on left.
8. Pillow cover right now: blue and green stripes
9. Sunglasses: tortoise shell...identical to Ang's even thought we bought them at separate times
10. Favorite shirt: Property of U.S.M.C. i assume it's in storage right now.
11. Cologne/Perfume: E likes me to wear Halo, Pink, and rapture by Victoria's Secret, but my old favorite is Carolina Herrera
12. CD in stereo right now: Indigo Girls - all that we let in
13. Piercings : ears and nose. that damned belly button ring hurt too much
14. What you are wearing now: NADA!
15. Wishing: that i will find a pair of contacts that will be comfortable
16. Wanting: E to magically appear at my mom and dad's this week
17. After this: headed to werk
18. If you could get away with it and murder anyone who would it be? - Murder? no one. Mystery Illness....the list is real fuckin long!(ditto)
19. Person you wish you could see right now: the Numbers, Ang, but i will see a lot of my Homies this week
20. Favorite movie: Auntie Mame
21. Something you're looking forward to in the coming week: huggin up on my baby brother... and oh yeah, did i menton i get to see AlliePants? and my mom and dad? and Donna? and my peeps?
22. The last thing you ate: 3 chocolate chip Pecan Sandies
23. Something you are deathly afraid of: icebergs, snakes, leaving a loved one without saying "i love you"
24. Do you believe in love at first sight? sho do
25. What is the longest you've ever stayed up? 2 days
26. Can you eat with chopsticks? yes, and when my hair is long - i can use then to put my hair up too. (again with the ditto)
27. What's something that you wish people would understand better: patience, politeness, manners, and that we are all the same on the inside.
28. What's something you wish you could understand better? nuclear physics
29. What is something that you wish was still around? the way people had respect for themselves and other people in the movies and TV shows of the 50's.
30. How many people have you kissed? lots. i am an equal opportunity kisser
31.Would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friend? sure would. i even offered to send E to Allie once. and Ang knows that whatever i have is hers.
32. Where is your favorite place to shop? old navy, world market, hobby lobby, and walgreens. (i'm a drugstore whore)
33. Have any tattoos: 3. one celtic trinity on my leg. a chinese rabbit on my right hip, and the gaelic word for "knowledge" on the back of my neck
34. What is your favorite thing to wear: the smell of my honey... or his PJs.
35. How much is the most you've ever spent on a single item of clothing: 200+ on a leather jacket for E. unless you count wedding dress... oh wait, my mommie paid for that.
36.. Who is the least fashionable person you know? prolly myself. i dont keep up on all that stuff... i am built for comfort.
37. What is the worst trend you see today? looking sloppy... and flip-flops with EVERYTHING!!!
38. Do you do drugs- i used to do the drugs, but now the only thing i drop is folic acid...
39. What would you change about yourself? just the girl on the outside. i love the girl on the inside.
40. What are essentials in your life? family, friends, Numbers, laughter, beer, bacon, chocolate, lipgloss, and an unwavering voice.

3 guesses

2005-11-19T12:56:00.000-08:00

as to WHO IS SICK, again.

and the first 2 guesses don't count!

yeah.
me.
a-gain.

or should i say still. i had like a minute of health and then the rapid descent into the Hanta-BirdFlu-WestNile-Ebola that is inhabiting my body making my poor little white blood cells work their little asses off.

good thing my mommie will be taking GOOOOOOOOD care of me by tuesday.

send me chicken soup and chocolate chip pancake wishes.

oh, and my birthday is in EGGZACKLY 2 weeks. please shop accordingly. because you only turn 29 twice.

hurry

2005-11-14T17:04:00.000-08:00

gotta post fast before my computer crashes again.

i had a FABULOUS post on sunday and halfway through it, my computer froze. no saving. no rebooting. no NOTHING!!!!

i had to do a hard shut-down. after many expletives and staring at the screen, blinking, thinking, "really? did that really just happen? are you KIDDING me?!?!?! REALLY!?!?!?!"

so, needless to say, i havent posted much because i am afraid of the Phantom Computer Freezing Gnomes who reside in my CPU.

but a new comp is coming. after much threatening and cussing... a new one is in the works.

be patient. if i have to, you do too.

spiked limes

2005-11-08T14:20:00.000-08:00

i went an got dinner for Sick Boy and myself last night... i went to a place where i know has great breakfast burritos and has the "Best Cherry Limes!" advertised. i figured, since i didn't stop for OJ, the lime juice would be good for the vitamin C, or at least ward off The Scurvy.

so, 2 cheeseburgers, 2 fries, and 1 giant Cherry Lime later, i was on my way back home.

we consumed our healthful and nutritious meal at 8:00 pm. by 8:45 pm we were both knocked out on the couch. i mean full-on snoring, mouth-breathing, drooling PASSED THE FUCK OUT!

i dont know what they put in that cherry lime, but it kicked our asses. so, we peeled ourselves off the couch and crawled into bed at a ridiculous 9:30 pm... and went nigh-night. i woke up around 11 thinking i had been out forever, and it was time to get up. nope, it was only 11. i was up again at 3 when E couldn't sleep anymore. and then finally got up at 6 am.

what are we? 97 year olds?

sheesh.

WTF

2005-10-31T18:47:00.000-08:00

is up with my slow ass loading on my blog???? that must be why i've only had like 5 hits in a few days.

insanity!

oh well until it gets figured out, bear with us while we sort out the technical difficulties.

things 'round here have been out of sorts lately. i have been on the edge of the Hanta Virus - Ebola Death Rattle for bout the past 10 days. its one of those where it moves from your throat to your nose to your lungs, back to your nose and finishes with a nice wheeze. i have been one carton of Lucky Strikes and a bottle of Wild Turkey away from trying my hand at singing the blues... or doing the next voice overs for Darth Vader. sheesh.

but i think all is healing. my little cells are working so hard. i should be DROPPING pounds the way my body is working so damned hard. alas, the scales have decided to mock my pain. oh well.

halloween was fun today. we did the Wizard of Oz. yes, i was the Wicked Witch, of course. i looked mahvelous! we were only missing the Scarecrow and some Munchkins... but it turned out pretty ok. i'll post pictures when Jason sends them to me. (the bastard who got me sick by coughing on my pens while i wasn't looking)

also i get to hug my mommie and my daddie in 4 days. *insert Snoopy dance here*
I.CANT.WAIT! i also get to hug on some other family too, but i'm real damn excited about seeing the mom and dad. so what, i'm still a momma's girl. and she'll kick your ass if it were any other way.

so, whats new with you?

(comments have been turned back on. please don't make me shut them off again. signed, Mgmt.)

Christel Needs

2005-10-25T09:50:00.000-07:00

like all good Numbers, we are copycats.

so, like you saw on Tasty's blog, i too have chosen to the "Christel Needs Google Survey"

Christel needs... a neighbor
Christel needs... your votes for State Representative in Stamfod, CT
Christel needs... your home sale
Christel needs... help driving her donkey
Christel needs... the right of Free Access
Christel needs... to teach you about Falsity, Ambiguity, and Metaphors
Christel needs... to help you with all of your Real Estate needs
Christel needs... to accompany her, Antje, and Karola to the West Bank
Christel needs... cheese and butter trading support and future deliveries
Christel needs... you to buy her corsets

so, if any of you can help me with that, please email me IMMEDIATELY!

momma's girl

2005-10-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

one of my new favorite songs...

Baby Girl, by Sugarland

They say in this town, stars stay up all night,
Well, I don’t know, can’t see ‘em for the glow of the neon lights.
An' it's a long way from here to the place where the home fires burn.
Well it's two thousand miles and one left turn.

"Dear Mom and Dad,
Please send money
I’m so broke that it ain’t funny.
Well, I don't need much; just enough to get me through.
Please don’t worry 'cause I'm all right,
I’m playin’ here at the bar tonight.
Well, this time, I’m gonna make our dreams come true.
Well, I love you more than anything in the world,
Love,
Your baby girl."

Black jack, blue sky: big town full of little white lies.
Well, everybody’s your friend you can never be sure.
They'll promise fancy cars an' diamond rings,
an' all sorts of shiny things,
But, girl, you’ll remember what your knees are for.

"Dear Mom and Dad,
Please send money
I’m so broke that it ain’t funny.
Well, I don't need much; just enough to get me through.
Please don’t worry 'cause I'm all right,
See, I’m playin’ here at the bar tonight.
Well, this time, I’m gonna make our dreams come true.
Well, I love you more than anything in the world,
Love,
Your baby girl."

I know that I’m on my way.
Well, I can tell every time I play.
An' I know it’s worth all the dues I pay,
When I can write to you and say:

"Dear Mom and Dad,
I’ll send money.
I’m so rich that it ain’t funny.
Well it oughtta be more than enough to get you through.
Please don’t worry 'cause I’m all right,
See, I’m stayin’ here at the Ritz tonight
Whaddya know, we made our dreams come true.
An' there are fancy cars an' diamond rings,
But you know that they don't mean a thing.
Well, they all add up to nothin' compared to you.
Well, remember me in ribbons an' curls.
I still love you more than anything in the world:
Love,
Your baby girl."

high road

2005-10-19T06:27:00.000-07:00

hi kids,

due to some recent unpleasant visitors, i have taken the comments off.

love and coffeebeans,
~christel

absent

2005-10-15T06:25:00.000-07:00

i was informed by allie that i failed to mention my little trip i took this week.

i guess i was so wrapped up in getting it all organized, that i forgot. sorry. but it was fun. thanks for asking!

i went down to Dallas on friday and hung out with my brother, grandmother, aunt and cousins. we got up saturday morning and had an AWESOME breakfast. i cant believe that i get to see them again in only a few weeks. i'm so PSYCHED!
later in the day, i got ready for my friend jenny's wedding. whom i have known since junior high. yes, she witnessed my bad 80's hair and had lived to tell about it.

the wedding was amazing. beautiful. i cried the WHOLE way through. seriously.

the reception was perfect. i didnt dance with the groom, but i did dance with the bride... so that was as it should be. i hung out with one of our friends from high school and her husband and we had THE BEST TIME!

i still can't believe that jenny, juan, jenga, jgt, got married. and her husband's a cutie too. CONGRATULATIONS YOU 2!

after dragging myself back to my aunt's house at midnight, i dragged my ass back out of bed at 4 am to head down to georgetown to finish the rest of my trip.

damn was that EARLY!!!!

i got to Ang's house a little after 8. she was pretty freaked even though she was not showing it. ya see, she and HER hubby have been married 10 years and were going on a cruise for their anniversary. so i went down to help watch her ~~monsters~~ kids. 4 of them. from the ages of 18 months to 11 years. 2 girls 2 boys. in that order. good thing they love their aunt christel and were perfect ~~demons~~ angels for me the whole time. we also had grandparents who had full-time duty and i was just crowd control. so i had cheerleading practice and homework duty for the girls while grandma and grandpa had t-ball practice and the toddler. it was fun. it was way fun. i still find myself doing cheers in my head... but that should go away soon, we hope.

i stayed at another friend's house while i was there. and by "friend" i mean "damned near family". i met their son, my senior year of high school and spent LOTS of time at their house in the years following. Mike and i had the old pact that if neither one of us was married by 28.... we would marry each other. we all know how that turned out. but the cool thing is that even though i didnt marry their son, we are still family. and they welcomed E into their open arms. they even put us up the week before our wedding and we had our rehearsal dinner at their house. so i stayed with them. even though they have an empty nest, it was perfectly fine to stay there. the funny thing was when mike was leaving to go back to his house and i was on the inside of the house and he was on the outside.... its usually the other way around. i said something about "this feels different" and he said, "nah, it's just right." love that boy. his whole damn fam i love. if you met them, you would too. thanks, B's for a terrific time! love you all.

so Ang should get back on sunday and i will hear how that went.

so i'm home. i still haven't unpacked. my lotion exploded in one of the pockets. that ought to be fun to clean out. E and i have a date tonight... and life is still terribly perfect.

SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS!!!!!

2005-10-03T05:59:00.000-07:00

earlier this year a very good friend of mine found out she had breast cancer. they have done the mastectomy, and have started the chemo. and i am not (physically) there for her. i am here. and its driving me NUTS!

so, in my surfing during sunday morning, i found this website for the Boobie-Thon. and in a bizarre act of love and feeling helpless, and totally against my modesty, i went ahead and submitted a photo.

had i not already had the picture on my computer, i probably would not have sent it in, but since i had taken it as a joke for E, i figured, "hell, why not?"

i'm not nude... so don't go looking for it. you will be sorely let down. but it's still a great rack. for a good cause.

so. my boobs are now out on the internets. we all knew it was only a matter of time.

(and i know there are a few of you who know my views on the cancer societies... etc. but this was done for a LOCAL reason, not a GLOBAL one. so back down off your hypocrisy box)

meet the Stupids

2005-09-29T08:41:00.000-07:00

yes yes, we have all read or written about

blog + work = B.A.D.

but but but... like, i have SOOOOOOOOOO many stories to tell.

like the one about the man with the voicemail icon on his phone and screaming at me to GET! IT! OFF! I! DON'T! HAVE! VOICE! MAIL! "ummm, yes sir you do, because that's what that little icon means, want i should retrieve that for you?" (and i made the man listen to his OWN voicemail and was *THIS* close to berating him. but instead i showed him how to do the voo-doo that i do to make the little talky box work)
or the woman who brought her phone in because it wasn't working properly, and upon battery removal we saw the "water damage indicator sticker" was RED instead of WHITE and told her she had water damage. she claimed she NEVER got it wet. after many hours of making her listen to Barry Manilow and shoving bamboo under her fingernails, she FINALLY admitted to keeping the damn phone in HER BRA! it wasn't so much "water" as "sweat" damage. (and you made *ME* touch that thing?????)
how about the man with the 10 minute "emergency only" plan who went over his minutes by oh, i don't know... 200! and then claimed he made NO phone calls, and why was his bill so high? after i looked at his last dialed call log, and SHOWED him that he had made calls, he said, "well that's kinda like getting your hand stuck in the cookie jar, huh?" YA THINK!?!?!?!
perhaps you'd like to hear about the guy who brought his phone in and was FURIOUS that it wasn't working and he'd JUST bought it. and once we took the back off, we noticed his BATTERY was missing. sir, did you have the battery when you LEFT the store?
ever heard the one about the lady who was afraid of giving herself a heart attack because she keeps her phone on "vib-a-rate" in her bra? (again, you made *ME* touch that thing?)
and finally, let me tell you about the woman who's phone was "deader than a doornail" and i was *THIS* close to doing a warranty call on it, until she handed me the phone and i turned it on and it came on. and she asked how i did it. and i showed her the power button and she said she had NEVER turned it on before and didn't even know where the power button was. i am a freakin messenger of satan with the powers that i possess!

frightening to see that not only coffee-drinkers leave their brains at home, no?

P.S.A.

2005-09-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

do not, i repeat, DO NOT write love notes, to your husband, on the bathroom mirror with cheap lip gloss.

it will form a strange polymer bond at the VERY instant a droplet of windex hits it.

that is all.

"Number" is Latin for "Sheep"

2005-09-22T12:10:00.000-07:00

The Numbers are basically one person split 5 ways. kinda like tequila shots in South Carolina. (if you don't get that, it's ok) so when one of does something, its a pretty sure bet that we all will follow suit. right down to our toenail polish and ie cream choices.

today's post, as done by Tasty and Allie.
Lola gets a free pass since she is the Leader of the Goat Rodeo right now... and i am pretty sure M'ary doesnt even know HOW to use a computer anymore.

here goes:

10 years ago I was…
living on my own (kinda) in my hometown. i had just left my boyfriend/fiancee for the 1st time. i was in a 410 sq foot apartment shared with a girl i had known for 3 days. i was working at a coffeehouse (surprise!) in round rock, tx and then at a NY style deli.

5 years ago I was…
about to celebrate my 2 month anniversary with E. living in greenville, sc by myself. working for a wireless phone company (see how my life repeats on itself) stupidly happy and about to pull the world-famous "this relationship is too good, i HAVE to get out NOW" routine. see how well that worked?

1 year ago I was…
mourning the death of our kitten Simon Avery. and wondering if i had made the right decision to stay back in SC when E left for amarillo. managing and roasting at a coffeehouse. oh, and being a horrible ogre to everyone.

Yesterday I was…
at work (at a wireless company) enjoying the laughter of one of my customers. i have been thinking about how her laugh was so sweet and infectious. also another co-worker and i were doing terribly goofy and fantastically silly things, all the while avoiding work. ( i have an AWESOME picture to document the silliness) also i spent the day sending sweet texts to my husband.

5 snacks I enjoy the most:
my momma's artichoke dip
oreos
cake
cheesy garlic bread
chili tots from the Vortex in atlanta (as long as accompanied by Numbers and pitchers of Shiner)

5 songs I know all the words to:
into the mystic (van morrison)
true companion (marc cohn)
ghost (indigo girls)
istanbul, not constantinople (they might be giants)
nuthin but a "G" thang (dr. dre) 1, 2, 3, and to the 4 right, Ang?

5 things I would do with a billion dollars:
give a riduculous amount to charities
buy an island and a coffee plantation
build a resort on my island where all my friends/family could stay for free
invest for our future generations
buy conditioner

5 places ideal for running away:
the beach
the beach
the beach (on my island)
peru
scotland

5 items you’ll never see me wear:
a brand name emblazoned across my ass
anything made by sean john, g unit, baby phat, etc.
really short hair
a jock strap
my welcome out

5 best TV shows:
will and grace
M*A*S*H
the muppet show
good eats
that's incredible (remember that show?)

5 biggest joys in life:
my family
my friends and Numbers
when i connect with people
making someone laugh heartily
cheese and garlic

5 favorite toys:
my paddington bear from childhood
my husband
pens
my feather boas and tiara
anything that lynn/david/jason/jon and i would invent to amuse ourselves for hours!

fishie kisses

2005-09-19T06:52:00.000-07:00

last night, E and i went out for a fancy dinner. we hadn't gone out to dinner in WEEKS!!!! so, since The Lobsta was having "all you can eat shrimp" we decided to partake. i mean, come on, you can never have enough IODINE in your diet!

so we walk in and there are NO lobstas in the tank. (not like i wanted any. hell, i'm allergic anyway) so E makes the comment that its pretty bad when a place named after its MAIN offering is out of their little buggy namesakes. and of course he made that comment TO the hostess. and she confirmed their lack o' lobsta.

we told her we weren't really there for their main fare, and told her we would like a table. this is how the conversation went:

Hostess: so, just 2 of you?
E: no, we have 16.
H: (bugged out eyes) 16?!?! uhhh... ok.
E: just kidding. it's just the 2 of us.
H: whew. ok. do you have a smoking preference?
E: somewhere in a dark corner, so we can make-out.
(at this point, i lose it!)
H: well, umm let me go see what i can find. (all the while giving us the "either they are just really sweet, or we may need to turn the hose on them later" look)
(exit hostess #1)
(enter hostess #2)
H2: are you guys being helped?
E: sure are. she's off finding us a quiet little table
(hostess turns to leave to check on the status of our table)
Me: so we can make-out
H2: (turns back around to us) oooh i'll come watch!
(exit hostess #2)
E: well i'm flattered.
Me: maybe that was meant for me, dear.
(enter hostess #3)
H3: are you guys being taken care of?
E: sure are.
H3: ok.
(exit hostess 3)
(enter hostess #4)
E: YES, we are being helped.
H4: ok good, because i wasnt sure.
(enter hostess #2)
H2: we found you a perfcet table
(enter hostess #1)
H1: i even had to bus it myself, thats why it took so long.
E: sweetie, that's fine. at least we knew we were well taken care of.

we were pretty sure the hostesses at the Lob hadn't had that much fun with seating a table in a long time. we totally threw them off their game. too bad after all that fun, there was no making-out. but i got a kick out of the offer!

YAY me!

(Darling, you TOTALLY owe me a make-out session somewhere REALLY innapropriate, now.)

he gets me

2005-09-13T20:21:00.000-07:00

something my darling husband quoted to me earlier tonight when in was regaling to him the hard day i'd had:

Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

i so love that man. (my husband, not Ralph)

chain chain chain....

2005-09-12T06:27:00.000-07:00

i figured instead of just emailing this, i would let the whole world see it. (and by whole world i mean my friends and the adoring fans of this site)

here go:

This makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the "don't buy gas on a certain day" campaign that has been going around recently! The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew we wouldn't continue to "hurt" ourselves by refusing to buy gas. It was more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem for them. BUT, whoever thought of this idea, has come up with a plan that can really work. Please read it and join with us!

By now you're probably thinking gasoline priced at about $1.50 is super cheap. Me too! It is currently a minimum of $2.99 for regular unleaded in our area. Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the cost of a gallon of gas is CHEAP at $1.50- $1.75, we need to take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace....not sellers. With the price of gasoline going up more each day, we consumers need to take action. The only way we are going to see the price of gas come down is if we hit someone in the pocketbook by not purchasing their gas! And we can do that WITHOUT hurting ourselves. How? Since we all rely on our cars, we can't just stop buying gas. But we CAN have an impact on gas prices if we all act together to force a price war.

Here's the idea: For the rest of this year, DON"T purchase ANY gasoline from the two biggest companies (which now are one), EXXON and MOBIL. If they are not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit. But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of Exxon and Mobil gas buyers. It's really simple to do!! Now, don't wimp out on me at this point...keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!

I am bloggin this note to about thirty (gabillion) people. If each of you send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300)... and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000) ... and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers! If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it..... THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE!!! Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. That's all. (If you don't understand how we can reach 300 million and all you have to do is send this to 10 people.... well, let's face it, you just aren't a mathematician. But I am... so trust me on this one.) How long would all that take? If each of us sends this email out to ten more people within one day of receipt, all 300 MILLION people could conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days!!! I'll bet you didn't think you and I had that much potential, did you! Acting together we can make a difference. If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on.

PLEASE HOLD OUT UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE $1.30 RANGE AND KEEP THEM DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK.

wanna know....

2005-09-07T18:54:00.000-07:00

what i hate?

i hate people who get all defensive and don't LISTEN.

i hate people who immediately start talking shit and make themselves look like fools.

i hate when people think it is better to make someone else look dumb than admit their mistakes.

i hate that i am allergic to beer.

i hate having to take out the trash.

i hate when i cut my nails, i will, invariably, have to peel a label off of something.

i hate razor burn.

i hate people who talk over me.

i hate closed-mindedness.

i hate that i have way too many things on this list.

i'm done ranting.
thank you - come again.

odd how....

2005-09-03T19:58:00.000-07:00

lyrics from songs from eons ago suddenly apply to life.

Angry Anymore

by Ani Difranco

growing up it was just me and my mom against the world

and all my sympathies were with her when i was a little girl

but now i've seen both my parents play out the hands they were dealt

and as each year goes by

i know more about how my father must have felt

i just want you to understand

that i know what all the fighting was for

and i just want you to understand

that i'm not angry anymore

i'm not angry anymore

she taught me how to wage a cold war with quiet charm

but i just want to walk through my life unarmed

to accept and just get by like my father learned to do

but without all the acceptance and getting by that got my father through

i just want you to understand
that i know what all the fighting was for
and i just want you to understand
that i'm not angry anymore
i'm not angry anymore

night falls like people into love

we generate our own light

to compensate for the lack of light from above

every time we fight a cold wind blows our way

but we can learn like the trees

how to bend

how to sway

and say

i, i think i understand

what all this fighting is for

and baby, i just want you to understand

that i'm not angry anymore

no, i'm not angry anymore

pssst....

2005-08-31T08:18:00.000-07:00

i have a secret....

i am SO in love!

ick

2005-08-30T07:51:00.000-07:00

hello, my little monkeys.

yes, we are back from a FANTASTIC weekend in Dallas, but both E and i are sick, so my funny, AND my hunny are both laid up in bed with ice bags and chicken-n-stars.

but i promise a full-blown post about the ruckus we caused is forthcoming.

(i must be unwell, i used the word 'forthcoming')

C-I-A-B-A-double-T-A ciabatta... peace out.

born unto libras

2005-08-24T19:15:00.000-07:00

tonight i went to walgreen's. only because it was on the same road as the movie place, where i had to return some items. and not wanting to waste a trip... i went.

(riiiiight, like i needed a reason?)

the purchases:

"blood red" nail polish
black "noir" eye liner
new curl stuff for my hair
another thing of curl stuff for my hair ( it was a BOGO)
giant Hershey bar
giant Hershey bar with almonds (for the cute boy who lives here)

nail polish, eyeliner, hair stuff, chocolate.

and it took me as much time to pick out chocolate as it did nail polish (approximately 12 minutes each)

HORMONAL MUCH?

repeat

2005-08-22T07:44:00.000-07:00

i did this one back in march. and BOY have things changed since then.

(bold are the changes)

I Live: IN TEXAS again
I Work: the main thing i am working on right now, is my marriage (fixed! now i work for money)
I Think: i need to get back in touch with who Christel is (getting there...but i think that s ever-evolving)
I Smell: the coffee, but not the roses nearly enough (like a starfruit)
I Listen: to what i want to hear (to my heart and to my husband)
I Hide: damned near EVERYTHING (some demons, still)
I Walk: quietly. literally and figuratively (with a bounce in my step, now)
I Write: because it's cathartic and therapeutic and sometimes just to make other people laugh (yeah like THIS is going to change!)
I See: possibilities (a bright future, which is nice for a change)
I Sing: a LOT more right now. even in my house. (oddly, i sing less now)
I Can: make you laugh even when i am in a thousand pieces (and i can heal from that) (el same-o)
I Watch: people (my husband sleep, because he is content once again)
I Daydream: about having my own roaster. and like Tasty said, "about being on a book tour with the Numbers". (yeah still the same)
I Fall: a lot. again, literally and figuratively (in love with Eddie every moment of the day)
I Want: happiness (got it!)
I Cry: too much (rarely)
I Read: like books are candy (i don't have as much time, but i am still reading 3 books at a time right now)
I Love: yep, just that. i love. (dur)
I Rode: out the storm (boy did i!)
I Sometimes: want a do-over (not anymore. i like it here)
I Fear: that the people in my life will be disappointed in me (that i won't EVER be a mommy)
I Hope: that when leave this earth, that i made a difference.
I Eat: like a 3 year old
I Quit: pitying myself (drinking. HAHA! got you!)
I Drink: a pot of coffee everyday (84 thousand glasses of water)
I Play: not nearly enough (all the time!)
I Miss: me (my family and friends)
I Forgive: my husband for being so angry with me. (myself for hurting him)
I Drive: and i drive and i drive, lets just GO! (wanna go in the car???)
I Dream: of having children
I Have: an amazing suppport group (and a GREAT rack!)
I Remember: july 6th 2002 (and i want that back) (not only did i get that, but its better now than it was then! but now i remember what i did to hurt my family and will NEVER do it again)
I Don't: give myself nearly enough credit (feel the need to cower any longer)
I Believe: there is room for improvement, but better yet, that i want to improve (i am a goddess and worthy)
I Owe: a debt of gratitude to my mom and dad that really can't be paid (and to my friends who held my hand and to my husband for giving 150% too)
I Know: things happen for a reason (that life is good)
I Hate: ignorance, lack of ambition, prejudice, impoliteness, and those who don't realize that we all have to live on this ant farm together.
I Feel: lucky, blessed, hopeful, trusted, responsible, scared, excited, curious, ashamed, proud, and most of all loved. (take out 'ashamed' and its still the same)

blog-o-versary

2005-08-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

one year ago today, i stepped out gingerly into the blogging world. i was not going it alone, though. i had others who had gone before me. others who were funnier than me. others who had beautiful words and stories to share. others whom i'd met in real life. others whom i'd come *this* close to meeting in real life.

i did it. i signed up. and let it all out. and there were times when it was SO therapeutic and then there were times when my life was such shit, i just couldn't let it out. hell, it even got me in trouble at work, but who's hasn't? it help strengthen old friendships and forge new ones.

so here i am. looking back at a year. a year of ups and downs and rock bottoms. a year of births, deaths, divorces, and almost divorces. times of stupidity and times of reflection. i have made you guys laugh and i have made myself cry all by tapping on this keyboard. it's been a strange road. most people's are. i just want to thank all of you for your never-ending love and support and demands of "SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS!" when i needed it the most.

you guys rock.

who's ready for round 2?

not Benjamin

2005-08-16T18:21:00.000-07:00

so i started this new diet on monday. and the first couple of days i have to drink this herbal stuff mixed with water and like 84 thousand more gallons of water. no food. not until day 3. its supposed to cleanse and replace nutrients.

so needless to say, i have become a pee-er. and those who know me know i am not a pee-er unless i have had too much to drink... or yeah.. too much to drink.

i peed 18 times yesterday.

18.

in one day.

ME!

and as i was sharing this story with allie tonight... i informed her that i "was slowly ridding myself of the fat girl through my urethra."

i could hear her blink over the phone.

and then i said, "see... i wanted to see how far i could go with the word urethra... it would either be funny, or it would have been 'imaneed you NOT to use the word urethra' so i took a chance."

at this point she said, "you should call it your Franklin"

this time she heard ME blink over the phone.

"my Franklin? why Franklin?"

"as in ARETHA FRANKLIN!!!"

at this point we lost it. i mean full on giggle that turns into a laugh that leaves you breathless.

and i said to her, "you have to stop, my Franklin has been overused for the past 2 days"
and much more laughter ensued.
and then i told her i HAD to write it.

so here i am.
in between pee breaks.

hi

2005-08-15T09:23:00.000-07:00

i gots some things rattling around in the ole noggin.. but they haven't quite solidified yet.

but until they do, do me a favor and send up some extra-special good thoughts to the universe. i have some friends (read: numbers and fractions) who could use some super lovin their way.

it's ok if you don't know who i'm talking about. just hug someone ultra-tight today.

freakin moo.

Fun with Google

2005-08-10T09:31:00.000-07:00

so, you all know i love the survey things. but here is one i've only seen a few places (like here and here) and of course i HAD to do it. which, of course, means that the rest of the Numbers are soon to follow.

here we go.

what you gonna did is, (a little justin wilson cajun for ya) go to Google Images and post a picture of the first thing that pops up under each search for:

1. The age you will be on your next birthday:
(i'm not making that up.. i really found that under thhhh...thir.... you know the one after 29)

2. The place where you live:
(told you it was FLAT)

3. Your favorite color:

4. The place you want to get (or got) married:

5. Your first love:
(you thought it was going to be something different, didn't you)

6. Your favorite fruit or vegetable:

7. Your favorite animal:
(itty bitty baby one kind babbits)

8. The name of your pet:
(a.k.a the one who uses my face as a springboard)

9. Last name of your favorite actor:
(yeah, it cracks me directly up too!)

10. Your favorite song:

11. A bad habit of yours:
(not so much bad, as just annoying)

12. Your middle name:
(shut it)

YOUR TURN!

you should see the OTHER guy...

2005-08-08T08:50:00.000-07:00

so, it's like 5 in the morning... E had just come to bed. i'd been there awhile. he got all snuggly with me and one of our kittygirls, Tori, got all snuggly too. like in a 'touch deprived' sort of way. she was rubbing all up on him. giving him kisses. making sweet little squeaky sounds falling totally in love with E's wrist... and then the jealous kittygirl, Chloe, decided to get in on the action, thus scaring the shit out of Tori. in the process, tori levitated about 3 feet up and over E and then used my face as the launching pad for her final attempt at freedom from the giant ogre that was attacking her. (which was really just another kittygirl jumping onto the bed)

i was then very much awake and clutching my face. E asked me if i'm ok, all the while laughing because the whole scene was rather hilarious. and sure i've been known to be a drama queen once or twice in my life, but this shit really hurt. and he kept asking me if i was ok. i lifted my face from the burrowed place in my pillow and remove my hands and he said, "is that blood?" thus launching ME out of bed.

in the bathroom mirror i saw nothing but blood all across my forehead. E came in and freaked out (because you know how head wounds bleed) until i got it cleaned up. and we saw that's it's just a scratch. a really good scratch. so he started looking for alcohol. i told him he "can put peroxide on it, but if you think you are coming near MY EYES with alcohol, you have another thing coming, mister!"

but i conceded...
even when he put alcohol on it, he said, "if you can put that much alcohol IN you, i can put it ON you"

so there we were, doing minor surgery in our tiny ass bathroom at 6 am.
peroxide - check!
cotton balls - check!
alcohol - check!
triple antibiotic ointment - check! (yes, mom, i really DID have some)
bandages - check!

"hey! you didn't kiss it!"

CHECK!

so back off to slumberland we went. but not until he could laugh some more at my one eye stuck shut. and not until he could get photo documentation with my camera phone. and not until he took pictures of my boobs while i thought he was taking pictures of my head. and not until he made jokes about "yes, Send as Message to 'Mom's email"

so, now i look like this. and don't think i wont get him back for that boob shit by telling everyone he beats me!

the saddest thing you ever done saw

2005-08-05T15:04:00.000-07:00

yes. that really is a BOARDED up Krispy Kreme store.

and i feel like there was so much more i could have done to save it....

ahhhh sweet Hot and Now's you will forever remain in my memories.
my comfortable friend.
onward to the Giant Doughnut Hole in the Sky...

*sigh*

so my husband calls me a CauseHead.

2005-08-03T08:02:00.000-07:00

fine.

so, as long as i have the title, let me earn it.

i found this store today while browsing the Bay of E (eBay) and thought i would share it with all of you.
so, go there and help the kid out.

no, i mean it.

really...

go!

(and if you dont know what to get, just remember that your favorite CoffeeGoddess LOVES rabbits. *wink wink*)

hump day

2005-08-03T06:45:00.000-07:00

i got nothin' today.

check back 'morrow.

oh and i'm real damned tired of this cold.

freakin moo.

let's get it on

2005-07-29T09:19:00.000-07:00

it was an evening in may. as she checked her email, she noticed that she had gotten a response to a fake personal ad she had written in hopes of winning back an ex-boyfriend. the first words in the email were, "i don't usually respond to ads without pictures, but after reading yours, i was inspired to write to you."
and he told her a little bit about himself.

she responded back to it to find out what was so inspiring about her ad. he told her part of it was that her ad said, "i am in search of a Passionate, Spontaneous, Romantic, Playful, Confident, INTELLIGENT Man. one who can stand on his own two feet, yet doesn't mind getting swept off them also. a man who believes in the power of surprises, first kisses, and shooting stars."

he then wrote her that out of all of his friends he was the most sappy and romantic. she wrote him that she could "out-sap" him anyplace, anytime. he wrote back, "bring it, rookie"

and for a few days they wrote back and forth finding out all sorts of amazing things about each other. and one night he gave her his phone number. and she called. and he couldn't believe that she was real. that she liked the same stuff he did, that she was funny, and charming and intelligent. but she had only seen a few pictures of him and she hadn't sent him any pictures of herself yet. so they talked and talked and talked.... and then one day, he didn't call. and three days later she hadn't heard from him. and so she figured she had scared him away somehow.

but then he called. he apologized to her for not letting her know that was going out of town for his birthday and was happy to talk to her again. so for about a month and a half, they talked and emailed and she finally sent some pictures of herself and he was hooked. they made plans to meet. he was going to come up from beaufort the first weekend in august, with a friend, to see her. and the plans were in place. and it got closer and closer to august. and they were falling more and more for each other. they had gotten very close. and had "tied up all loose ends" and weren't seeing other people. and were making long term plans.

and then one friday night. the weekend before he was supposed to come see her, he found out that she didn't have to work that weekend. so he said, "why don't you come here?" but it had been storming that day and it was getting late and she was unsure about it. and he kept calling. and the last time he called she answered the phone with, "ok, so how do i get there?"

and she packed a few clothes and hopped in her truck at 9 pm on a friday night and headed south. 3 and half hours south. to a marine corps base. to meet a man she had never met. and did not have a back up plan in case he wasn't all he said he was. and her mother was against the idea. and her ex-boyfriend whom she was trying to get back told her she should go, because they realized they were better friends. and so she went. she threw caution to the wind. and went to meet a boy.

and as she pulled up... she took SEVERAL deep breaths, then dialed the phone to let him know she was there... and she hesitated before she pushed the last button... and then he said, "i'll be right out."

OH SHIT, this is it! he is going to be some kind of troll. or worse, he will think i am a troll. and what if he does... oh shit, is THAT him? he's HOT! no way. that cant be him. here he comes. smile. toss the hair. try not to fidget. oh, damn he smells good. and those arms.. and that smile. and he wants to hug me... "hi, i made it"
oh let me just not melt right here. "ok, we'll go inside, sure. yeah i could use a beverage." he wants to hold hands! please don't let me trip. "actually, i have to go to the bathroom, i will be right back." is he staring at my ass? did he just point at me and whisper, "oh yeah, she's here with me" oh jeez, now all of his friends are going to be staring. act normal. you can do this.

so they hung out at the bar, then went downtown to meet a friend. and as they were waiting for his friend, he said "let me go ahead and alleviate Kim's fears" and he leaned over and kissed her. and it was perfect.

(her friend kim asked her one night, "what if he's a bad kisser?" and she shared that story with him before they met)

and they walked along the river side and held hands. and then they went to his barracks. and she was freaked out a little, but he was being such a gentleman. and they talked and talked some more and couldn't believe there were really laying eyes on each other. that they were really in each other's space, breathing the same air. and it was beautiful. they made love well into the morning that was the beginning of forever.

that was 5 years ago, today.

Happy Anniversay Baby.

i am just as much in love with you now as i was then.

and my love for you grows each moment.

here is to a billion more tomorrows.

~ christel

careful, i'm contagious

2005-07-27T21:15:00.000-07:00

excuse me.

pardon me.

coming through.

oops, sorry, pardon me.

make a hole.

excuse me.

why yes, i do have my hands full, thanks for holding that door for me.

coming through.

excuse me.

oh this? this thing here in my hands? oh it's a SOAP BOX.
what am i going to do with it?

stand back and watch while i climb upon it.

oh yeah. i got a BONE to pick tonight kids.

while watching BratCamp tonight, i saw a commercial for an upcoming episode of Good Morning America where they are running a story on a Church that turns Gay people Straight.

yeah, you heard me.

so i got online to see if i could find more info about it and i ran across this article.

ya know what, ima go ahead and post it here as well... pay close attention to that which i have bolded.

June 28, 2005 Â Tennessee officials closed an investigation into a so-called ex-gay ministry because of a lack of evidence to support child abuse allegations. But the Memphis organization that says instilling Christian beliefs can keep gays from acting on their homosexual desires continues to be the center of controversy.
The Tennessee Department of Children's Services began an investigation into Love In Action, which advertises homosexual conversion therapy for adolescents, after a 16-year-old boy's blog started causing a stir in the blogosphere.

"Zach" wrote in his blog that he was admitted into the facility by his parents after he told them he was gay. He said he was to be admitted to Refuge, a camp associated with Love In Action on June 6 and was to remain there at least until June 20, according to a June 3 blog entry. According to some fellow bloggers who have been in intermittent contact with Zach, he gets dropped off at the facility daily and returns home with his parents.

Love In Action is supported by several Memphis-area churches, and accredited by Exodus International, an organization that describes itself as "a worldwide interdenominational, Christian organization called to encourage, strengthen, unify and equip Christians to minister the transforming power of the Lord Jesus Christ to those affected by homosexuality."

"DCS dispatched its special investigations unit to the facility, and after conducting a full investigation, determined that the child abuse allegations were unfounded," Rob Johnson, an agency spokesman, told The Associated Press.

John Smid, executive director of Love In Action, said the allegations were never described to him but he assumed they involved a complaint of psychological abuse.
The program, Smid said, "is to help kids to grow in their relationship with Christ."
In a May 30 entry on Zach's blog he posted the rules of the Refuge Program. Under a heading called Hygiene, it says, "1. All clients must maintain appropriate hygiene, including daily showering, use of deodorant, and brushing teeth twice daily.

Men: Men must remove all facial hair seven days weekly, and sideburns must not fall below the top of the ear (the top of the ear is defined as where the ear meets the face below the temple). Clean business-like haircuts must be worn at all times. Hair must be long enough to be pinched between two fingers.
Women: Women must shave legs and underarms at least twice weekly.

All: Only natural hair color is allowed. Hair that is colored, highlighted or streaked, must be dyed back to its original color, or the color must be cut out before entrance into the Refuge program."

Officials from Love In Action appealed for tolerance at a June 16 news conference. Phone calls to Love In Action were not returned by press time.

"It is our spiritual conviction that sexual behavior outside of heterosexual marriage is considered wrong in the sight of God," said John Smid, the program's director, who describes himself as "ex-gay," according to a transcript of the news conference available on the Love In Action Web site.

"This program is operated on the will of the guardian or parent. We will work with the minor children as long as they are not overtly distracting to their own program or the program of others," Smid added. "If it is shown that the client is overtly treatment resistant, we will work with the parent towards alternative options for their care and overall relational health."

For the past two weeks, a group called Queer Action Coalition, which was formed after hearing Zach's story, has protested outside the camp.

"They claim to present themselves as an alternative to the gay lifestyle but then say you are going to have a miserable life if you live this lifestyle," said Amanda Lefevre, spokeswoman for Queer Action Coalition.
Lefevre said that the group was organized after it heard about Zach's blog.

Wayne Besen, who studies "ex-gay" camps, said that there are at least 100 ministries across the country that offer programs that attempt to make heterosexuals out of homosexuals. Some are live-in ministries while others are drop-off centers.

"These ministries are a bastion of abuse where the unqualified pose as mental health professionals," he said. "It's ruining lives and no one regulates it."

He said the camps offer workshops created to train attendees.

"There are lipstick lesbian seminars and workshops for boys that tell them what kind of underwear they should wear," he said. "They also offer tips like telling you to grocery shop just before closing so you will go at a time when there won't likely be people you are attracted to."

Zach has not entered anything in his blog since June 3.

On May 29, the teen wrote that his parents sat him down and told him he was going to a "fundamentalist Christian program for gays."

"They tell me that there is something psychologically wrong with me, and they 'raised me wrong.' I'm a big screw up to them, who isn't on the path God wants me to be on. So I'm sitting here in tears, [joining] the rest of those kids who complain about their parents on blogs Â and I can't help it," Zach wrote.

His blog has received thousands of comments since it appeared.
(written by By ROSE PALAZZOLO)

*steps up on soap box*

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???????????

i am speechless. but only because i have SO many things to say andi dont know how to get them out without them sounding like a giant guttural dinosaur bellow.

first off, in case you haven't divined MY feelings on homosexuality, let me just say that i have MORE gay friends than straight friends and there is not a single thing different about them. except that my gay friends use words like "room-mate" and "partner" instead of "husband" or "wife" or "boyfriend" or "girlfriend". but we can talk about my views on Gay Marriage later. (for the record, love is love is love.)

so, now that everyone knows where i stand.... i think i shall rant:

who the FUCK are these people to say that because a boy finds love in the company of another boy its wrong? i thought jesus taught about LOVE. didn't know there were rules to it. also, who said it was a condition???? in MY OPINION, i think its genetic. so, its not something that can be "changed" or "therapied" out of someone. it's like me not being a spazmonkey anymore. it's who i am. it cant be changed or broken. so the idea of Gay to Straight Camp sickens me.
and the thing about the hygiene... are we turning them "straight" or into Beaver Cleaver? so much for diversity. i guess that means that since haven't shaved my legs in 3 days and my hubsand's hair is well past his collar, we must be gay. oh shit. i'm gay. i mean it must have happened when i dyed my hair PURPLE! it's the hair coloring that made me catch the gay! oh man, i feel sorry for all of those people who came to our wedding. apparently its now a sham. because my husband and i are now gay. good thing they have a CAMP for it.
and another thing... did they ACTUALLY use the term "lipstick lesbians??? and tips to "grocery shop just before closing so you will go at a time when there won't likely be people you are attracted to." i can't even form a coherent sentence to relate to this level of stupidity.

*steps off soap box*

sure, i'm being a bit one-sided. but hey, its MY blog. and i have every right to. but just so you know, you are now reading a Gay Blog. (wonder how many hits i am going to get because of THAT phrase)

ok. breathe.

everyone is entitled to thier opinion. and i am entitled to talk about how stupid their opinion is.

i think i am going to start a Straight to Gay Camp.... who's with me?

what a welcome...

2005-07-25T18:27:00.000-07:00

yeah, i'm back.

and i will tell you all about it soon, but let me JUST tell you about TONIGHT'S fun.

so after work, i decide to grab a little something to eat. and i see BK so i decide to give it a go. i hardly EVER eat BK. like never. flame-broiling makes me YACK. but i wanted a chicken sandwich.

i ordered it.
the girl told me my total.
i pulled up to the first window.
she asked me if i had the double bacon cheeseburger.
i shake my head no.
she asked me if i had the big kids chicken meal.
i shake my head no.
she asked me to wait.
she gets someone to help her.
she asked if i had the chicken sandwich.
i shake my head yes.
i pay.
i wait to pull up to the next window because the car in front of me had a big order.
i see 3 drinks go into the car.
i see the car pull up.
i pull up to the next window.
i get my food.
and the guy in front of me hasn't moved.
and he hasn't left me enough room to pull around him.
i honk.
he looks at me in the rearview.
i lean my head out the window and ask him to scoot up.
he sticks his hand out the widow and waves.
he then motions for me to go around.
i am blocked in by a van.
i let FUCKASS know this.
he sticks his arm out the window and gives me a peace sign.
i ask if he can scoot up.
he shakes his head no.
i get right up on his bumper.
he looks at me in the rearview.
i then TELL him to scoot up.
he gives me a thumbs up.
had he not had his family, i would have shown him my OWN hand gesture.
i ask him if he can't scoot up.
he thrusts his BK cup out the window, points to the Fantastic 4 character on the cup and says, "i just saw this movie"
i say, "fantastic, now can you scoot up"
he says it's impossible.
i ask him if he could be any MORE of a jackass.
he says that's why he isn't scooting up.
the van behind me backs up, so i can get out.
i have to RESTRAIN myself from clipping him as i speed away.

they ALWAYS fuck you in the drive thru.

if i'd had it my way, i would have shot him in the face.

welcome home, christel, welcome home.

puh-hoe-nix

2005-07-10T04:52:00.000-07:00

ok so it's almost 7am on a sunday. i've been up for over an hour. usually Eddie is just coming to bed at this time.... the world is off its axis, methinks.

we went out for a lovely anniversary celebration last night. he STILL knows how to keep me on my toes. he always surprises me just enough that i don't put anything past him. dinner was amazing. he was amazing. our love is amazing. i could go on... and probably will at a later date, but being all goopy about my husband is NOT the purpose for this post.

and even though there IS a purpose for this post, i have to share something funny i read while i was meandering through the internet on my way to the blog-o-sphere.

that damned Willie Nelson cracks me up. i mean i am supposed to love him because it's a Texas gene.... BUT... how much do you love that he FORGOT he is coming out with a reggae album. and even better, how much do you love the description of the cover? and even MORE importantly how many of you KNOW i will SO own that when it comes out???

i was thrown TOTALLY off my game when i read that. i had been cooking up this post and then read that and had to share.

now, down to business.

i think the only way to tell you all is to just rip it off like a band-aid instead of draggin it out.

ok. ready?

I AM LEAVING FOR PHOENIX FOR TWO WEEKS FOR TRAINING FOR WORK AND WILL NOT BE ABLE TO BLOG!

there i said it.

you, my darling, adoring fans will have to go 2 whole weeks without reading about the dumb shit i do, the funny shit i say, or the asinine ideas i hatch. but all will be ok. you all still have each other for support. you can use my comment box (heh heh i said box) like a message board of support to keep each other's spirits up. i know it will be hard. i know you will be sad and feel like something has gone missing in your life. i know, my little pets, i know.

but i PROMISE to take a journal so i can keep track of all the shit i will have to tell you when i get home, ok? because my daddy said the only thing to do in phoenix is to try to stay cool and drink margaritas. and if i remember correctly margaritas are an ingredient in my goofball antics sometimes... right?

ok, so i have made casseroles and left clear instructions for emergencies (i.e. running out of gin) for you guys. play nice and momma might bring you back a souvenir.

We are gathered here today

2005-07-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

We are gathered here today, not to witness the beginning of what will be, but rather what already is! We do not create this marriage, because we cannot. We can and do, however, celebrate with Christel and Edward and their friends and families the wondrous and joyful occurrence that has already taken place in their lives. Marriage is a supreme sharing of experience, and an adventure in the most intimate of human relationships. It is the joyous union of two people whose comradeship and mutual understanding have flowered in romance. Today Christel and Edward proclaim their love and commitment to the world, and we gather here to rejoice, with and for them, in the new life they now undertake together.

The joy we feel now is a solemn joy, because the act of marriage has many consequences, both social and personal. Marriage requires "love," a word we often use with vagueness and sentimentality. We may assume that love is some rare and mystical event, when in fact it is our natural state of being.
So what do we mean by love? When we love, we see things other people do not see. We see beneath the surface, to the qualities, which make our beloved special and unique. To see with loving eyes, is to know inner beauty. And to be loved is to be seen, and known, as we are known to no other. One, who loves us, gives us a unique gift: a piece of ourselves, but a piece that only they could give us. We, who love, can look at each other's life and say, "I touched his life," or, "I touched her life," just as an artist might say, "I touched this canvas." "Those brushstrokes in the comer of this magnificent mural, those are mine. I was a part of this life, and it is a part of me." Marriage is to belong to each other through a unique and diverse collaboration, like two threads crossing in different directions, yet weaving one tapestry together.

The secret of love and marriage is similar to that of religion itself. It is the emergence of the larger self. It is the finding of one's life by losing it. Such is the privilege of husband and wife - to be each himself, herself and yet another; to face the world strong, with the courage of two. To make this relationship work, therefore, takes more than love. It takes trust, to know in your hearts that you want only the best for each other. It takes dedication, to stay open to one another, to learn and grow, even when it is difficult to do so. And it takes faith, to go forward together without knowing what the future holds for you both. While love is our natural state of being, these other qualities are not as easy to come by. They are not a destination, but a journey. The true art of married life is in this an inner spiritual journey. It is a mutual enrichment, a give and take between two personalities, a mingling of two endowments, which diminishes neither, but enhances both.

Through this co-operation, we give ourselves, our lives and love. Into the hands of the one we love. We do so trustingly and generously. And so, each of us receives a gift: the life and love of the other. We receive this gift, not only from the one we love, but also from the parents who brought us into the world, and from our friends and families as well. And so as Christel and Edward’s friends and family, we are here to share with them this joy and hope, and to see them off on the path they will walk together. May it be a path of blessedness, bright with flowers of prosperity and spiritual awakening; a path of ever deepening, ever broadening love that they will travel, arm in arm. Through out eternity.

Happy 3rd Anniversary to the Most Wonderful Husband in the World.

this past year has been beyond difficult for us both and i am so pleased to see that not only did we make it through the other side, but we came out smiling, laughing, and in love. a feat i never even dreamed possible. thank you for allowing me the opportunity to give you second chances and for you giving me the same.

i love you more now than i ever have and that love can only grow day by day.
because your hand on my chest is still my hand. and when you close your eyes, i sleep.

i love you.
~christel

how did i get so lucky?

2005-07-02T07:22:00.000-07:00

"can i just leave my uterus at home today?"

"sure, i will uterus-sit for you"

"because it hurts me today"

"i will put it in time-out until it learns how to behave"

demands

2005-06-28T14:10:00.000-07:00

according to my beloved and adoring fans, i have been DEMANDED to update.

ok so its been over a week since last i regaled to you the funny i spew, or recount the stupidity that abounds, or report the idiocy i encounter.

needless to say, i SURE did pinch myveryown TONGUE in my wedding rings.

let that sink in.

i, Christel CoffeeGoddess Rockstar.... pinched my own FUCKING tongue in my wedding rings.

you guys thought i was kidding about that straight jacket.

wanna know HOW i did it? (and if this doesnt SCREAM Jenny Craig, i dont know what does)

sunday, the Cutest Husband in the ENtire world and i were hanging out, watching the game (Reds game, DUR!) and i had made sandwiches for lunch. to accompany our sandwiches were CHEETOS. (can i get a YUM YUM?)
and as all humans know, cheetos are messy. and somehow i got some of the cheese powder on the palm of my left hand, kinda near my ring finger.

i know, you can see it coming...

so, as i as was trying to lick off the cheesy goodness, i got the tip of my tongue caught in between the rings.

i swear you CAN'T make this shit up.

i let out an audible "ow!" and ever so sheepishly i told H what had happened. he shook his head and said,

"sometimes, Babe, you just gotta let the last chips go...."

my husband, the Zen Master.
me, the fucking gotard.

*runs with scissors

2005-06-19T09:33:00.000-07:00

i have been in need of adult supervision for the past 2 days.
seriously.

the other night when i was at Wal*Mart, i was on the phone with Lynn, and we were cutting up and being so goofy, that i was THAT GIRL at the store. i was the loud girl on the phone doing the "i'm making a spectacle of myself" laugh. i laughed so hard, that i choked. yeah. i'm an idiot. but not only were the men with the "white coats" following me... i had no business being in a retail establishment.

wanna know what i bought?

cat litter
giant bag of cat food
6 pack of shiner bock
6 pack of shiner bock
roasted garlic triscuits
american squirt cheese

yeah. i bought 2 sixers. LIKE I NEEDED THEM!!!! and honestly, when is the last time you ate SQUIRT CHEESE????? i must have gargled with Bong Water during the day.

and THEN, i deposited money in the ATM, and left my stupid card IN the machine. please, someone come put mittens on me, i might scratch myself.

jeebus.

so yesterday, i was shadowing a girl doing an activation, and when she was done, she got up to take a smoke break. it wasnt until i was HALFWAY down the hall headed to the back door with her, that i REMEMBERED THAT I DON'T SMOKE ANYMORE!!!!!

i think my brains have fallen out. i need restraints. so if my next post looks like this:

sadio8u vnoqi 93085{:_pJVOI35. JO09 9238 5R -POKI DMP! A9973Rnsd fivu37pa;lk aoksfjdoi43 98 aksjdf9j4 ajs98 ghtn;kj na9gf jasdij9g4ngnb 9s ;flkn945 897ahjf glkjrtn alkud8907yt. ao;sidfj89498hj0a8u'asdjf8ie. sndoiuvh845bnva;oijdfo8iu8gha;lksdj1!!!

don't be alarmed, its just really hard to type with a straight-jacket on.

freaking moo.

GIANT SHOULDERS

2005-06-14T10:18:00.000-07:00

apparently, the responsibility to get the Blog Ball rolling, is all my hands today.

my darling number girls have not updated in a LOOOOONG while. oh yeah, i haven't either... but anyway. look over there its elvis!

so, hopefully, once they read the witty shit I will spew forth, they will be JUST as inspired to follow suit. and then i wont be let down tonight when i get off WORK, and will have something to read. i am like a blog voyeur. i like knowing what's going on in other peoples lives... and i actually have like 13 i check everyday. i might link to all of them someday, but for now, they are all mine.

but so yeah.... i said WORK. as in a JOB. as in EMPLOYMENT... as in THESE PEOPLE ARE REALLY PAYING ME TO BE THIS CUTE?

i started yesterday... and i am in orientation HELL. 7th circle. but really, its not that bad. its stuff i kinda know anyway... so its a breeze... a long non-wrist rest for my mouse, bad chair, weird angled computer, super shitty coffee, and oh my GAWD can we turn the air down breeze.

look at me bitching, and its not even my third day. tee hee.

so, my weekend was great. lots of quality time the Husband. have i mentioned lately how FUCKING HOTT!!! he is? cause, damn honey, he sho is. even on sunday when i bribed him to go get fried chicken, did he look scrumptious. in what could have been pajamas.... and flip flops. he's lucky he waved the chicken in front of my face first.... otherwise he might have had to explain the bite marks. i love that boy. (yes, you honey)

so. i have blogged. and i now have to get dressed for WORK. look! i said it again.

oh yeah, next time, remind me to take a sweater.

MOO Y'ALL!